[Staff Spotlight] Get to know CandidClown

by CandidClown

Explain your username (and/or avatar).

I guess I picked CandidClown because it was an idea I wanted to aspire to. I’ve always loved the historical roles that clowns and jesters played. Being the only ones allowed to mock the upper class, they used jokes and absurdity to mask their candid commentary on the world. Of course, I would never dare poke fun at our magnanimous and merciful drama overlords. But, providing an honest perspective on dramas in an entertaining fashion? That sounds like fun. Bwahaha…

What is the first drama that you watched (or the first drama that made an impression)?

The first drama I ever watched was Iris, and it blew my mind. I’d never seen anything like it before and spent two days holed up in my room, binging. I thought I’d found the show to end all shows… until the final scene. I had innocently expected a Disney happy ending, but instead, got sucker-punched by a K-drama melo. You could say I was a bit traumatized. I spent the next six hours crying and swore to never watch anything Korean again. Clearly, that didn’t take.

Tell us about a job or two that you’ve had in the past.

One summer during high school, I agreed to babysit my boss’s 9-month-old son. I’d never babysat before, but I was assured that the baby wouldn’t wake up after bedtime, and I could spend the evening on the couch watching movies. It all went well until two hours in, when the little hellion woke up and announced his presence to the world. Loudly. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing worked. Finally, I called in the ultimate back-up: my mom. She arrived, took one look at the screaming child and her whimpering daughter, scooped up the kid and brought him outside into the night air for a walk. Within two minutes, he’d passed out into that dead-limbed coma state that only infants and blackout drunks can achieve. A half-hour later I collected the paltry 20 bucks that I’d naively agreed to go through this hell for, and practically sprinted out the door. I’ve never babysat since.

Have you ever lived a moment that you thought belonged in a drama?

This one time, at band camp (and no, I didn’t play the flute), I went to a dance with my friends. When I headed out for some air, my best friend’s boyfriend followed me and proceeded to confess that he liked me more than my friend. Fairly douche-y of him since she was dancing right inside. I was still pretty young and had no clue how to handle the situation, so I did what any socially awkward thirteen-year-old would do: I pretended I couldn’t hear him and dove inside to hide amongst my friends. I spent the remainder of the evening firmly ensconced within a wall of estrogen that no male with a half a brain would dare brave.

What’s your favorite drama that you’ve recapped?

I have to go with Strong Woman Do Bong-soon. While the show was not without flaws (*cough* Boss Tak *cough cough*), I still enjoyed every minute of Bong-bong and Min-min’s love story. I think I gave our drama overlords weekly headaches because my recap drafts were usually 1,500 words too long since I kept waxing poetic about Min-hyuk and his look.

What drama genres do you especially like?

I will always be a fan of the rom-coms, and I have a special spot in my heart for gender-benders where the heroine pretends to be a guy. (This probably comes from spending my formative years addicted to the author Tamora Pierce — I must have read the Alanna of Trebond series half a dozen times.) Coffee Prince still remains one of my top three drama favorites. “Whether you’re a man or an alien… I don’t care anymore.” I melt, every time.

What drama genres do you especially dislike?

Medical dramas! I just can’t watch, what with all the blood and organs and sharp knives slicing things. Blech. I once had an awake-surgery on my arm, and I kept my eyes firmly glued to the ceiling the entire time, in spite of the nurse who kept asking if I was sure I didn’t want to watch. I finally asked if she was sure she wanted to mop up the resulting vomit. She didn’t ask again.

What’s a random skill you have?

I love Ultimate Frisbee. I’ve been playing the sport for over a decade now, and I suspect I’ll still be playing it long after medical professionals deem it unwise.

Favorite non-Korean movie and/or TV show?

I won’t even try to pick a single favorite movie (“I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens”), but I love the Canadian TV show Rookie Blue. Wit, heart, action, camaraderie, and an OTP that could rival many a drama. What more could you want?

Which Hallyu celebrity would you actually want to meet and spend an hour with?

Ji Chang-wook! I’d spend the first 59 minutes just staring at the Pretty, then probably use the last minute to blurt out something embarrassing, like, “Do you like Messi?”

Which of the 7 deadly sins would be your undoing? (Pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, or sloth.)

In the immortal words of Captain Mal from Serenity, “Hell, I’m a fan of all seven.”

Your favorite drama has an unholy alliance with your most hated drama and produces a mutant baby drama. Describe the plot.

Our hero, a bad-ass night errand messenger, is hired by a prodigy music producer to find the little sister of his dead girlfriend. Hijinks ensue when the hero has to go undercover as a bumbling idol trainee to learn more about the sister who wants to be a music composer. As the much older music producer tries to sort out his conflicting (and borderline creepy) feelings for the younger sibling of his once-true-love, the hero uncovers a secret organization behind their talent agency that’s responsible for murdering both his and the heroine’s fathers. The hero and heroine compose a song that exposes the shady group, falling in love in the process. The two declare their love to one another while cuddling on a rooftop, and the music producer is left to realize that falling for your dead fiancé’s younger sister is too weird. Finally, the awesome Ajumma — who’s been watching over the entire operation — calls them all idiots and uses her hacking skillz to erase any trace that the show ever existed, so we can pretend that Rain never tarnished his record with such a disaster. Oh, and the dog comes back to life to live happily ever after with Ajumma. The end.

 
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