Beans of Wisdom: Korean lessons and superstitious doctors
by DB Staff
This week in Beans of Wisdom…
In comment #2 of “Winning is the only name of the game in MBC’s Night Light,” Lord Cobol writes a correction:
Technically you should say “loading a revolver”, not “pistol”.
“Pistol” usually means a semi-auto, with a spring-fed magazine, so even if you only load one bullet, that’s guaranteed to be the first shot. Russian roulette is really, really not recommended.
potatodrama asks:
hahahaha i thought the same thing! how do you play russian roulette with an auto pistol?
Lord Cobol:
briefly
Politely…. “You first”
While Sylvia notices in “Lee Yo-won and UEE fill Jin Gu’s mind in first posters for Night Light” comment #7:
… so in reality the pure-hearted candy character is Jin Gu?! And he’s being fought over like a piece of meat by the two alpha ladies? LOL I’m sold!!
Gaeina Lee asks in “On the Way to the Airport: Episode 15” comment #3:
…What exactly is cheating? Is it emotional, is it physical, is it legal?..
So I asked several married friends from both sexes about definition of cheating and infidelity. Surprisingly, all of them said that cheating is when things get physical. To my friends, if it is only emotional, it’s not cheating yet. You just admired a good person and be close with that person. Not cheating.
However, cheating on emotional level is deadly too. I recalled I read Suzanne Finnamore’s book ‘Split: A Memoir of Divorce’, there she wrote “Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance.” When the emotion and feeling started to disappear, how can a married or relationship sustain the test of time?
This show made me think and rethink about the definition and parameter of cheating and infidelity. It opened my eyes and be more accepting on each individual’s difference in categorizing and defining it. In the end, only the people involved who have right to define, agree and disagree on the limitation or parameter of cheating and infidelity. Not the outsiders. Not even the children.
Then I stumbled upon this quote when i read online about cheating and infidelity:
..Never cheat on someone that is good to you. Karma is a bitch.. — Surgeo BellGosh, this drama made me think and contemplate indeed. #_#”
In “On the Way to the Airport: Episode 16 (Final),” lunatic4kd shares in comment #4:
Here I go again with my perspective from decades of experience with love and loss. When you are young and untested by time (whether 18 or 38), it truly seems that you will fall in love with your soul mate and live happily ever after. Then reality sets in when you live with someone and really get to know them. Being friends first always has an advantage but it’s not usually the way we choose our mates. You never really get to know someone until you live with them a full two years. Even then total surprises can crop up. To the many commenters who railed “Leave your marriage first BEFORE starting an affair!”, I suggest that sometimes you don’t even know your marriage is in trouble until you are faced with the contrast of knowing someone who is easier to be around. If all of us ditched our marriages at the first sign of being attracted to someone else, none of us would stay married. Being attracted to someone of the opposite sex is a natural thing. It just is. What attraction outside of marriage teaches us is to wake up and examine our interior life – and the life we share with our mate. Yes, being honest from the git-go helps, but that can also come too early…before the external attraction meets its die-down rate.
Do not abandon your marriage before you give it your all in communication, honesty and commitment to grow together. Sometimes that means tough love. Sometimes it means trial separation (the BEST way to figure out how you really feel), oftentimes counseling works wonders…but if you’ve done what you can and your spouse doesn’t change – or you realize how YOU contribute to the dynamic – then step into a new life with patience, gentleness and kindness. It is not your JOB to make someone else change and grow. It is only your job to know yourself and become the best person YOU can be. That’s the person who will attract the true love that fits.
Pebble replies:
Well said @lunatic4kd, yours were sincere words of wisdom etched onto the mind by years of heartfelt experience.
Infidelity aside, I do agree that we couldn’t stress enough the importance of communication, honesty and commitment in maintaining a relationship. It is definitely not easy to live with someone, especially after the initial honeymoon period. Along with the diminishing oxytocin, our patience also dissipated into thin air, to be replaced by irritation and intolerance, or even resentment when the routine humdrum of daily living wears us down. Communication, honesty and commitment thus become the cornerstone of a relationship.
Just because someone does not love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Though it is easy to blame our partners for being insensitive to our needs, we may also want to honestly reflect on our own behaviour and attitude towards our partner. Whether a relationship can weather a stormy patch or not, depends on whether we have compassion for both ourselves and our partners. By honestly facing our own vulnerabilities and our fears, can we open up our hearts to the pain of others, more so for the one living so closely in the same space who breathe in the same air and whose heartbeat we can hear.
redfox says goodbye to a wonderful character in “Shopping King Louis: Episode 16 (Final)” comment #23.2:
Jae-Sook was a gem. Without her, uncle´s deeds would have had a lot more severe results. she was like a pebble between the door and the frame that always left an opening to make things right. a clueless pebble who doesn´t realize its´ worth for the hero.
aweebit also says goodbye in “Jealousy Incarnate: Episode 24 (Final)” comment #1, with a caveat:
Love, love, love!!! Top to bottom, head to toe!
What a great pairing!But please tell me no real news organizations run their business like a game of musical chairs! Better not get up to go to the bathroom anchors. ..or you are giving up your seat forever to the next person! (At least until they have to go to the potty too.)
While lunaticandra writes in comment #11:
That moment when Hwashin treat his steamed bun more importantly than his mom’s wrath. I lost it.
Quinze replies:
Hah, the stubbornness of Hwashin is that even when Mom’s hitting you, the bun is what’s important. Oh man, I have sympathy for mom. Can you imagine him as a boy? He must have driven her up the wall!
Where was Hwashin when al the other kdrama leads were breaking up with their one true love because their family disapproves?? He’d have been like “Here’s a steamed bun, now go get married you fool.”
suegarbaby in comment #20.4:
“I’ll always be curious about you.”
This line is actually quite amazing if you think about it. Being in love and experiencing the excitement and passion of feeling in love will fade as the years go by when familiarity sets in, but always being curious about your partner? That speaks of so many things!
It speaks of how your partner will always be interesting to you. Things will always be new, different and fresh because there is always something new to discover or uncover. There won’t be staleness or dullness in the relationship.
It also speaks of how the relationship won’t fall into the indifference trap. Indifference is the silent killer, really. I think it’s quite telling how from the start, Na Ri told Jung Won how she hated apathy and indifference, that she would prefer someone to hate and complain, than to be indifferent and not bothered. This is the biggest compliment and assurance to Na Ri which Hwa Shin could ever give to her.
More than declarations of undying love, to say that she will always keep him curious about her, speaks of consistent interest and consistent attention from Hwa Shin. And that’s just absolutely beautiful and probably the best and happiest thing for Na Ri to know. <3
And merin in comment #13:
Do you have a friend who’s quirky and unpredictable, who sometimes doesn’t make sense and kinda annoys you but who always keeps you interested and curious and entertained, and you can’t help but love that friend? Yep, that’s JI for me. And it’s especially painful to say goodbye to a special friend like JI. Even now, I’m crying typing this because who knew when I would find something as good as this drama again.(???)
For someone who doesn’t even like romcoms, I’m well and truly whipped. I’m now learning Korean and even booked a ticket to go there. Just how whipped am I going to get?
(/?\*)
Although I was disappointed with how they chose to resolve Nari’s career issues, I’m still grateful for the roller coaster of emotions they had me experienced.
If you love this drama like me, please support the artists and the production as much as you can. Some of the OST songs are now out in itunes and googleplay.
m(__)m
Quinze shares this great story in #14:
And finally, kudos to this show for also spreading such a positive message about cancer. I dunno if anyone saw this but I stumbled on it a couple of weeks ago and thought it was such a nice turn of events: http://www.koogle.tv/media/news/incarnation-of-jealousy-drama-miraculously-saves-life-of-viewer/
It’s a good way to see how sometimes even a tv show can make an impact depending on the message you send to your audience.
aweebit:
Wow, what an amazing story! See I knew watching dramas was good for you!
Just this last drama-cycle alone I have learned how to avoid all sorts of terrible deaths in Moon Lovers, not the least of which is when you see someone struggling in the water, throw them a life preserver instead of going in yourself. Also, that one should avoid fire hydrants if you’re not wearing a helmet. Thanks King Louie! ?
gabobobobo:
It really helps that JI aired around October, the breast cancer awareness month (“Fantastic” also did). Because of both dramas, I’m seriously considering to have breast cancer check up, although I don’t have the symptoms. Just to stay safe.
In “The K2: Episode 16 (Final),” Kendi asks in comment #20:
I read this recap in a hurry so I still don’t get why [Yoo-jin] can’t escape together with [Je-ha] and [Anna], did the elevator can only carry two person? Or did the bomb activator is planted in her so if she tried to get out, the bomb will explode?
AsianDrama16:
Good question. She wouldn’t even if she could because Mirror was her life. It was her secret weapon against all her enemies. The only “love” in her life is Mirror. Ever wonder why it’s called “mirror”? It’s because it reflects her own image. Mirror is Yoojin, and Yoojin is Mirror. If Mirror dies, then she dies, too.
Aria writes about Song Yoon-ah in comment #32:
“You learn eventually that, while there are no villains, there are no heroes either. And until you make the final discovery that there are only human beings, who are therefore all the more fascinating, you are liable to miss something.”
― Paul GallicoSong Yoon Ah here, Song Yoon Ah there, Song Yoon Ah everywhere and I love it. A big shout out to all the new SYA fans out there like me. I hope she gets another project as soon as possible and I HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL IN THAT DRAMA THREAD (hopefully)!
So does Sam in #14.2:
I’m excited to see her, maybe in a sageuk next time? I hope Signal’s writer casts her in her next drama
But kanz replies:
Casting her in a sageuk with Signal’s writer would multiply her death chance to 10000x.
And if she’s cast as Lee Jong Suk’s mother, I won’t count past episode 1 to see her alive.
Speaking of Lee Jong-seok’s drama moms, transient asks in “Lee Jong-seok, Suzy in talks to reunite with writer Park Hye-ryun” comment #25:
So, who’s going to be his (short lived) mom in this drama?
siesta:
whoever she is, i feel sorry for her already
Boomboompow:
Ha! It’s like Death Note.
In “This Week, My Wife Will Have an Affair: Episode 5” comment #12.5, DramaMama writes:
I think the biggest mistake people make when they enter a marriage (or any committed long-term relationship, really) is the belief that love is a feeling/emotion. Because feelings/emotions are natural and instinctive, often a result of circumstances or even hormones, and not something we really can control. Thanks to novels, kdramas, and basic biology, we tend to equate “love” (or romantic love) with attraction – that exciting little fluttery feeling we get in our stomachs when we first meet someone we are interested in. Thank you pheromones and our species’ biological drive to procreate!
But love is a choice we make – to be devoted to and care about another person deeply, regardless of circumstances. I wake up every day and make a choice to love my husband. Some days (thankfully still most days) I feel those happy butterflies of romantic love. But in my 20+ years of marriage, there have been many days when we’ve considered it a success to go to sleep still liking each other. Because life happens. But because we chose every day to love each other, here we are, still happily married and looking forward to a future together.
To answer your question, this doesn’t mean you can’t/won’t still have a physical attraction to other people. Most people will, more than once, even in healthy, long-term relationships. You just have to choose to be faithful or to betray the trust of your partner. Circumstances can help push you one way or another but it is ultimately a choice. And it is condemned by most because a loving romantic relationship usually means an exclusive relationship, which implies trust. And if you don’t have trust, it is hard to chose to love.
This is where I will have an issue with the drama. I can understand circumstances that might lead a spouse to chose to cheat (such as in On the Way to the Airport). And I can understand circumstances that will lead the betrayed spouse to forgive. But I really don’t understand how someone who has been cheated on can ever really trust the unfaithful spouse enough to continue in the relationship ever again. It happens, I know. They are just a better person than I am.
maymay presents a different viewpoint in #5.3:
Hi beanies, just sharing my opinion. I don’t think is wrong to feel bad for the cheater. We might not condone their action but it doesn’t mean that they weren’t suffering in their own way. Would it make you feel better that the wife never cheats but suffers silently until she breaks down mentally? And have you considered how would you react if your best/close girlfriend did the same thing? As always we are always rational when we are just observers but who is to know what we or our close friends do when placed in the same predicament. If you were in her shoes, would you not crave for a sympathetic ear. If it were your friend, would you not at least hear her out. It’s not like she is unrepentent (or like Yoon Ki), and it’s not like she is scheming to hold on to that other man. Even if she ends up in divorce, I still think she needs a friend, a shoulder to cry on, and not just judgemental people like a lot of us.
And I disagree strongly on the fact that if you date someone for a long period of time, you should know someone inside out. People do change over time. Marriage changed the dinamics of your relationships. I am going to assume Nerdy is not married here (Sorry if I am wrong). There is a saying that marriage is the graveyard of love. Depending on the society you are in, I will say most Asian countries, the dynamics change drastically and will take some getting used to. If before when you were dating, the men pampers and agrees to your every requests, after getting married you are expected to fulfill their requests. Even in this age of supposed gender equality,women are expected to do more, to be subservient to the husband. Sometimes we do it out of love, other times it is something expected of us. Doesn’t mean the man you married is bad, but if they lack consideration, it does make life harder.
Again, I do not support cheating but I think it is too harsh to suggest that we should not feel sorry for the character at all. Sorry for the long post.
Nerdy replies:
Marriage is hard, being a working mom is also hard, but you see, tons of working moms don’t cheat. I wonder what makes Soo Yeons situation so special or different
“Would it make you feel better that the wife never cheats but suffers silently until she breaks down mentally?”
Again, why do we have only two options? Her husband is not some sort of tyrant, he tried to protect her from his mother, asked for a few times if she was angry when he forgot their child, washed the dishes because she might be tired. As you said, our main hero lacks considiration but at least he tries and when his wife acts like everything is fine then he trusts her words. He is not some mind reader but he is a lot better then a lot of husbands of faithul wives.
She also has a son, the one who loves her without any reason, he can’t give her the shoulder to cry, but we definetly can say that she is not alone.
I am not even going to start talking about how for 35 years of life k-drama character couldn’t find even one friend…but really, if she needed someone else (because for some reason her husband is unable) to understand her she could find a friend, not a lover. And lover with a wife on his own. Selfish no? Destroing someones else’s marriage because you feel lonely.
As you said I am not married, I am not trying to hate or anything, I like this show so I wonder about why is it trying to make character sympathetic if she digged her own grave.
MapleSilver:
So we know Hyun Woo connects to people very easily and she does not from the fact that he has so many friends and she is all alone. His personality is down to earth whereas she seems to be closed and reserved as evidenced in their wedding video when she does not want to openly show affection. I wonder if she ever feels insecure next to such extroverted partner who never lacks company and so her coping mechanism over the year is to overcompensate her insecurity by building this perfect image of a wife/mother. As an introvert myself I definitely often feel insecure around more extroverted people.
And maymay:
Soo Yeon is not special and she is not the only person who has cheated either but to make a character hateful just because she cheats is very one-dimensional. Just like we argue some murderers come from broken family (sorry probably a poor example), she could have her reasons too and it is definitely more interesting to let her story be stold as well. And like you say, tons of other neglected wives don’t cheat too, but there are also a significant number who does and I like that this show tries to explore that angle.
Each of us has our own set of values and it is very easy to judge based on our values. You would think people in an abusive relationship should just run away and leave the partner but in a lot of situation, I feel like the personality of that person matters too. What we think is right sadly might not mean the same to others for whatever reasons (upbringing, family, society, etc). Probably because we have been seeing the story from the husband’s point of view that makes it harder for some to spare even some sympathy for the wife (especially if one feels strongly on the subject). That is for the show to rectify if indeed it plans to do so anyway.
My argument, or my personal sentiments anyway, was that we can think that the wife is wrong to cheat but we could still feel a degree of sympathy for her anyway. At the very least, sorry that she did not do better to maintain her marriage that sort of thing. This is where I think you misunderstand me, I don’t mean sympathetic as to justify her actions but just yunno be sorry for her.
Sorry my points are all over the place, I make a horrible debater. It’s just that I had a friend who well was sort of cheating (she wasn’t married at the time), and I distanced myself from her thinking that she’s doing an awful thing. She didn’t end up with that other guy (they both had partners) but I realized after we got closer again how alone she was when facing all the criticisms and side eyes. And then I wished I had been a better friend and be there for her when she was struggling.
rufuru points out a dramaland anomaly in comment #6 of “Purple raincoat serial killer on the loose in OCN’s Voice”:
Wait- the FEMALE lead is the genius this time? Come one, come all! A miracle in dramaland! I do tend to roll my eyes whenever a main character is classed as a geeeennniiuuus (why can’t they ever just be -I dunno- good at their job?) but the fact that it’s the female lead this time definitely makes me a lot more interested.
But jeez louise- that boot-opening scared the bejeezus out of me. Don’t think I’ll be watching this one at night…
BossyPixie writes this lovely message in “The Man Living in Our House: Episode 7” comment #6:
I agree that it is so sad that Nan-gil thinks of himself as a weed. You know what though, even a beneficial plant is considered a weed if it is growing in the wrong place, like a squad plant growing in a strawberry patch. I think that Nan-gil would only be considered a weed in that sense. He grew in the wrong place, first parent less in the orphanage and then with CEO Bae. I have a feeling that Na-ri will feel the same way. Nan-gil is likely afraid of how Na-ri will see him when she learns of his past and when the find out whatever secret CEO Bae is keeping. Na-ri is so kind, loving, and understanding though. I think she is far more likely to feel heartbroken by what young Nan-gil had to go through than she is to reject adult Nan-gil.
Lessa starts a discussion on superstitious doctors in comment #3 of “Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim: Episode 3”:
Going back to Friday night… i feel like it’s a sort of superstition. Hehe. We used to have something like that in training, like if you eat spaghetti when you’re on-call, prepare for some toxic patients incoming. (Because spaghetti is long, so you’re going to have a loooong night.. LOL)
Michykdrama replies:
Haha @Lessa I’ve never heard of the spaghetti thing before but where I work we have many other superstitions, like not eating bao (?) which are steamed buns, or not wearing red underwear! Lol.
There was a local journal article written on it a while ago- it’s a tongue in cheek look at how crazy superstitions are still followed by supposedly scientifically evidence based trained doctors, all in desperate hope for a good quiet day at work ?
http://www.annals.edu.sg/PDF/36VolNo3Mar2007/V36N3p217.pdf
And as a fellow doctor, I’m sending a hug to you, we all have those days where we need a hug or a good cry.
lessa:
that article is sooo relatable! 😀 We also practice a lot of feng shui in the hospital… (even though we’re not a chinese hospital) like we don’t have rooms or floors that end in 4 or 13.
Oh, I just remembered… we even have the “antidote” for the spaghetti curse…. you have to eat ice cream in order to make the evening’s chaos quiet again. LOL.
Thanks for the hug! And to all in the medical field! 😀 😀
DaeByDae explains the show’s title in “Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim: Episode 4” comment #3:
In my opinion from watching these 4 eps, the ‘romantic’ in the title wasn’t so much refering to the romance as in love-related situation. Instead, it’s more related to him having an idealistic view of the way things supposed to be. Ironic as it is, with him being totally jaded and pragmatic, his character actually embodies the ideal value of what is it to be a doctor. Someone who is unlimitedly selfless and willing to take any length to help people.
Hence the ‘romantic doctor’ in the title
And in the same post, Lessa once again shares a story about working as a doctor in comment #10:
Nothing much, im still up-down-rollercoaster with this show. I must have been whooped so hard in training because I would worship Master Kim and definitely BEG/GROVEL him to teach me some skillz even if he’s mean. I’d probably cry everyday for being an incompetent moron, but I would DIE just to be trained by him. I would sell my kidney if he wanted a new ultrasound machine.
I like Master Kim’s answer to whether he’s the best doctor or a good doctor. What I think is more important is the rapport to the patient, -and I do believe it contributes to healing. I once referred someone to a doctor who I knew was THE BEST in a certain field. The patient came back, angry, upset, & unsatisfied. There were a lot of reasons for it, but since then, I’ve learned to refer based on personality: if my patient is older, needing longer consults, more lay person level talk,… i match him to a doctor who will cater to that need. If a patient wants aggressive action, instant results, quick info, I find a doctor like that as well. Its like matchmaking. Because your doctor should be your friend & partner in healing.
I hope SJ gets proper psych treatment. I agree with her not touching a patient for now. But she needs help!
Im loving this series a lot, even though Im not surgically trained. But the drama is solid, the characters flawed, annoying, but the same time relatable and lovable still.
Lola observes in “Woman With a Suitcase: Episode 15” comment #6:
The end of this series is like baddie musical chairs. Everyone gets caught (for a bit) and then someone else takes their place. Doesn’t really bother me though but I would’ve loved this show more if there’d been more Bok Geo/Geum Joo interaction till the very end.
While blank also reacts to the good news in comment #54 of “Bad Guys return to OCN for a Season 2”:
Woow, i guess the prayer circle works…
Irochka
Yes, this shows we should never give up! Just need to keep making sacrifices to the Subway god and we can have anything we want!
(One day we will have a Soulmate season 2…one day…)
Imbuk writes in “Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-ju: Episode 1” comment #39:
This is by far the most interesting thing for me right now, in this drama. The choice of sports for the women, Whereas gymnastics makes them look more feminine, weightlifting makes them looks masculine. The fact that the gymnasts tease the weightlifters about their body only cements the truth (which most times we don’t acknowledge) that some women themselves don’t accept it when species of their own gender break from the stereotypes and see it as a cause for ridicule. If we do that, how can we expect the members of opposite gender to not do the same thing? I hope the show delves into this conflict more and shows that its not how she looks (either too feminine or masculine), but who she is In her heart that matters.
While ilikehim asks in comment #34 of “Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-ju: Episode 2”:
Am I the only one super fixated on the fact that it flashed back to their childhood…and it was 2005?! 2000-friggin-5 and they were little tiny children. Talk about about feeling old!
No? Just me in my quarter life crisis? kthanksbye.
Don’t worry, it’s not just you!
rlg is feeling envious of our mermaid in comment #3 of “Legend of the Blue Sea: Episode 2”:
I really, really, really wish I could absorb the Korean language overnight by wearing my laptop over my head and running dramas for 8 hours straight. Sigh. Stupid human weaknesses.
Moment:
LMAO that entire laptop scene is like every Beanie ever! Yes, we learned Korean from watching dramas all night, lol.
Mindy shows some mermaid love in comment #1.2:
Oh, and I just wanted to express how much I love JJH’s character. SHE IS A TOTAL BADASS. In her own way. And hilarious. And just so much fun. This whole drama is so much fun so far.
I like how we’re seeing more in this episode of her kind of… genius side? What with how rapidly she learned the language and everything. I hope we learn a bit more about how her brain works, or at least what else she can do. Right now it seems Joon-jae is the brains and she is the brawn, but it also seems she has her own brand of intellect that could match his.
Also, the whole scenario with Joon-jae saying “If anyone comes after us it’s okay, I’ll totally beat them up–” and then she goes on to whoop a bunch of asses while he is just talking about how great he is… HA. I love it. That’s, like, one of my favorite cliches/tropes/whatever.
Amilia adds:
The bit that cracked me up with that scenario was, he said, “If we see the bad guys, you turn around and run!” Then she sees bad guys, and does exactly what he told her to do. She turns around and runs . . . right at the bad guys.
And licia has a plausible theory in comment #37:
Fun theory time: I’m calling it now he’s may be half mermaidan.
(Clue #1) Remember in the scence in the bathroom where he was checking his self out. His eyes changed color, hazel; light green or light brown. One of the things about watching tv shows on streaming sites is that you get freeze the frame. This would could also explain why he is inclined to do hypnosis. Maybe it’s one of his mermaidan abilities. Yes one could say from reasoning abilites as a con man he can study a person facial expression and body langauage and conclude whether or not they have a weak mind but he still has the ability to mesmerize people with eyes while he attempts it.Clues#2 The writers hint is forshadaowed when the maid who I think is his mom and a mermaid mentions the ocean and her son. Her description was filled with longing and very detailed. If so how did his mom stay permanently on land? and is that vase in the end scence possibly his mom and the dad. The person there was in a modern business suit next to the mermaid.
Clue #3 In the scence where our lovely mermaid mentions how shiny and are pretty his eyes are. I dont think the writers were just using that moment to have our lovebirds or lovefish or is it lovemers?…..Stare into each others eyes.
To sum it all up= The mermaid in her recognizes the merman in him.I know I read some where the writers wanted an orginal mermaid story
So the rules here are going to be different.
What do you guys think of my theory?
As always, thanks to all for writing great comments every week!
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1 soondubu
November 20, 2016 at 8:22 AM
I completely agree with the merman theory! I was thinking the same thing toover actually. AND lol "prayer circle" for bad guys season 2 cracked me up.
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lazielizard
November 20, 2016 at 10:18 AM
I didn't think about the merman theory but I really hope that is it! That would just be fun and different. :) I love these two together btw. They just seem so effortless together..and I wasn't expecting that so it was a very happy surprise for me. ?
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bigmomma12345
November 20, 2016 at 11:12 AM
I, too, think je may be a merman. I caught clue #2 that licia memtions but totally missed the eye color changing. I did wonder why they had that scene of him checking himself out - now I have to go back and see it again (dang it)... ;)
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Cutie-soo
November 20, 2016 at 5:48 PM
About the merman theory, in the Josean times back story the mermaid says that mermaids can hear each other's thoughts. She also says that she tried to speak to him, but he didn't hear her. Maybe she knows he's a merman? Will we get to see all that fan art of LMH as a mermaid come true???
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anabear
November 21, 2016 at 5:48 AM
the "prayer circle" comment had me laughing too! XD
these hilarious comments are the reasons why I'm always looking forward to beans of wisdom
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2 boomboompow
November 20, 2016 at 9:21 AM
I seriously miss Jealousy Incarnate and Jo Jung Suk. I cannot wait to see him on Running Week next week!
I have fibroadenoma and I am SO overdue for my yearly routine check - watching JI finally made me call my doctor to book a check up.
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acciokdramas
November 20, 2016 at 9:25 AM
I'm so glad to hear that! I hope the check-up will go well! c:
Knowing that k-dramas can influence the viewer to the point where people book check-ups and are spurred to act is such a touching thing! :")
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Chandler
November 21, 2016 at 9:42 AM
You're not alone! I think it's gonna be a while before I can let go of them both. If I loved Jo Jung-seok before JI, I have no idea how to even name my feelings for him now. I've been keeping tabs on all his promotional activities for Hyung and rewatching TK2H, which, btw, is the 2nd show after Jealousy Incarnate to interest my brother (lol, uh, thank you, Jo Jung-seok?) who has (lovingly) mocked my kdrama obsession for years. I laugh to think that it was JJS stripping in ep 15 of JI that caught his interest. He's been around while I've watched shows like Signal, Police Unit 38, SFD...but it was only Hwa-shin's ridiculous antics that he couldn't resist.
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anglvue
November 22, 2016 at 2:28 AM
How could anyone not laugh over his childish antics in JI? He was great in JI. My bestie and I now refer to him as Petty.
Glad your brother is slowing being converted... :) Join Us....lol
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Quinze
November 21, 2016 at 9:50 AM
Hope your annual check up comes out okay!
I miss JI too!
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3 acciokdramas
November 20, 2016 at 9:21 AM
i'm a 17 year old with zilch experience on this subject, but i'm gonna go ahead and add my two cents to the 'infidelity parameter' conundrum that Gaeina Lee so perfectly summed up anyway (or at least try).
cheating is subjective, and however hard the whole world tries, there is no debate about the Cheat-O-Meter that will produce one universally accepted answer. i applaud Lee's description, and i'd also like to add that the scope of which an individual may classify acts as infidelity or not should be aligned with their partner's.
again, communication is central in relationships. humans are driven by the need for social contact and connections with others, after all! so speaking and exchanging opinions without flying into a rage is important, and thus, i think partners in a marriage should always bring up the topic of cheating, should it happen or not. i know it's unconventional; "honey, what are your parameters of infidelity?" isn't exactly a romantic, get-to-know-you question. but i think it's really important to breach the topic because it lays out the values of each partner to one another. knowing that your partner has trust issues, for example, could mean that you will defer from 'emotionally/mentally cheating'.
tl;dr - what i basically mean is that learning your partner's value and perspective on what counts as an act of cheating can allow you to adjust the perimeter of your own view. after all, remember the Three Cs of Marriage - compromises, communications and constant decision to love!
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acciokdramas
November 20, 2016 at 9:31 AM
With that said, I don't mean to sound like a mom who says stuff like: "OK, you can eat chocolate, but only one bite and that's it!"
I'm not implying that cheating is a pleasurable act that one has to restrict, of course. I'm just saying that whether we like it or not, people in marriages will sometimes have fleeting attractions (either physically as in lust, or mentally as in want of a connection). And when this happens, some people might brush it off as 'nothing'. But if their partner doesn't think it's nothing, or if their partner has ever been cheated before, or if they have self-esteem issues, they are vulnerable/insecure about it. They might consider that act of cheating as a serious matter. On the other hand, like Su Ah in OTWTTA, laughing and connecting with another person in a bar while drinking might not be considered an act of cheating. It doesn't bother her.
Of course I don't encourage cheating; unless it's on a test (HA, joke! ...or not). Hee.
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lazielizard
November 20, 2016 at 10:35 AM
Loved reading your 2 cents. ☺ really well worded and honestly agree with what you said. Communication is a necessity, but a lot of people, myself included, don't usually think to bring up thearly topic of infidelity and how important it is to know your partners value systems and this is one of them! I remember a conversation I had with a guy I liked and we were discussing dating and whether we would be inclined towards exclusive dating or not...and honestly my answer should have keyed me into my feelings. I did learn later that it wasn't that I didn't want an exclusive relationship, I just didn't want one with him.. Anyway one thing I appreciated was how open we were able to be with each other and no topic was off limits. So I think discussing infidelity will ultimately be beneficial in some way.. :)
Also you sound like a wonderful person and sound like you have a lot of awesome discussions. ?
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acciokdramas
November 27, 2016 at 9:50 AM
Thank you for such sweet, sweet words! As a (soon-to-be!) English major, your compliments made my entire WEEK.
I'm so impressed at your way of handling open discussions, and I'm glad to hear that those discussions led you to discovering your values. Communication really does open up people's heart, don't they! I wish everyone could be like you in this matter, but unfortunately there may be some people who completely shut off any open, honest talks. Here's to hoping that 21st century will bring more honesty and warmth to relationships and to love! Cheers~
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lynnet
November 20, 2016 at 10:41 AM
I'm also very intrigued by the comment on cheating parameters . I once read an article many years ago about infidelity and the many forms it can take .The writer pointed out the differences between emotional and physical infidelity and made some interesting points ;there are people particularly nowadays who can agree to be physically intimate with other people . There are different reasons; maybe they are swingers and exchange partners, maybe both parties in the marriage can agree to an open marriage as far as physical satisfaction is concerned and they agree that as long as emotion doesn't come into it its not infidelity . Then there are people who are married but develop feelings for other people without meaning to . These are the kind of people who due to morality or decency never physically act on these emotions but the pine for the other person nevertheless . Then of course the worst kind of cheating is when one party develops feelings for another person and acts on those feelings by physically cheating.
As far as I'm concerned of course physical cheating is the worst but emotional infidelity is quite bad too . To know or find out that your spouse is in love with another must be soul destroying .
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moto
November 20, 2016 at 11:45 AM
To know or find out that your spouse is in love with another must be soul destroying. Yes-- that's why more and more psychologists are saying that 1) Emotional affairs ("affairs of the heart") are as devastating, if not more devastating, than physical affairs, and 2) In physical affairs, the emotional aspect is generally the part that’s the most devastating. According to psychiatrist Gail Saltz, an expert on emotional affairs:
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rentenmann
November 20, 2016 at 8:47 PM
"...it's what's most difficult to recover from when a partner has an affair."
I'm not sure the trust can be recovered. I liken it to a blank piece of paper (trust) and a pencil (cheating of any kind). Once you put a mark on the page, no matter how much you erase that pencil spot/line/mark, it's never going to be clean again.
I don't know how I'd react. I've said lots of times that I don't share, and that once something like that happens, I couldn't stay with my partner (I said this back when I was dating, too). I can talk forever about what I'd do; but until it happens, I can't be absolutely certain what action I'd take, if any. May I never have to find out!
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lexyk
November 21, 2016 at 1:36 AM
Comment was deleted
Ammy
November 21, 2016 at 12:57 AM
Thanks for this, this is a really good topic which opens up to new perspectives of different individuals.
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gaeinalee
November 21, 2016 at 4:06 AM
...Uhh, even 2 considered [emotional] cheating already?
Darn! *Oops*
^^
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Moment
November 21, 2016 at 11:23 PM
On emotional affairs being more devastating than physical affairs - my husband and I have had long discussions about this, and basically I've come to the conclusion that if he ever had a physical affair, I would be able to brush it off. But not if he found someone he preferred emotionally to me, someone he felt he had a better connection with than he does with me.
That being said, we both have friends of the opposite sex that we are very close to. There have been several times that one or the other of us has been inexplicably drawn or strongly attracted to other people. In this light, lunatic4kd's and dramamama's (and others') comments really strike true for me, and are completely in line with my experience. Sometimes your attractions and longings may highlight areas in your relationships that need work - and always, we have been able to talk about our needs. Sometimes it was a person who engaged in deep and meaningful conversation, or some person who made us feel appreciated - things we were forgetting to do for each other because of stress, illness, or plain taking-for-granted.
It's also true that you can't expect every need of yours to be filled by your partner - this is partly why we have our own separate circle of friends in addition to our common ones - friends who share our particular hobbies, or a particularly esoteric branch of our senses of humour.
At the end of the day, despite all the fun and interesting and enriching relationships we have outside of ourselves, we choose to return to each other again and again. For as long as that is true, our relationship is worth keeping, worth building into something more each day. The moment one or the other of us realizes that the relationship doesn't do us good anymore, or that it's not possible to mend things anymore, that is when it is good to move on.
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acciokdramas
November 27, 2016 at 9:53 AM
What a great explanation, lynnet! I definitely agree that emotional infidelity is much more heartbreaking, as it has to deal with people's personalities and how couples complement each other. Physical affairs are based on lust, with no emotional strings (mostly), so I guess it would hurt less.
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4 Midnight
November 20, 2016 at 9:28 AM
I hate it that everybody was swooning and loving the Airport couple and even regretting that the spouses weren't more relatable and normal , and now there is so much bashing and critisism for Wife. Every comment I read I can't help thinking that if the Wife was having an affair with Lee Sang Yoon everybody would be swooning! I just don't understand so much hypocricy. In the Airport the cheating husband drove me crazy with being so relaxed and happy while cheating! At least in the Wife the cheating couple feel quite guilty and unhappy about it!
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mary
November 20, 2016 at 10:16 AM
I would like to disagree with the use of "everybody was swooning" because I distinctly remember reading a couple of threads in Airport (mine included) advocating for DW and SA to file for divorce first before pursuing a romantic relationship. I also read and joined a couple of discussions in Affair this week where we were pushing for understanding for Soo-yeon (at the same time acknowledging that affairs are wrong) and also feeling icked out at how Yoonki seems to be getting off lightly with his philandering ways.
As some comments in Affair pointed out, the disparity between Airport and Affair could also be due to the way the story is told. Airport is from the cheaters' POV. We saw every step of their emotional connection and almost none of their "evil" spouses' stories. Meanwhile, Affair is from the husband's POV. So far, we can see that he's a very reactive and unreliable narrator. Plus, Soo-yeon is slowly being revealed to us in bits and pieces so it's hard to see her side right now. Though there are a few of us who are waiting before we pronounce judgement.
I know it must seem that everyone disagrees with us, especially if the comments seem overwhelmingly in hate of Soo-yeon. But if there's one thing the internet taught me, it's that you're never alone in your opinions. Sometimes we're all just waiting for someone to speak up first. :)
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Midnight
November 20, 2016 at 11:16 AM
?
Yes, sorry if I got carried away and a bit harsh ?
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mary
November 20, 2016 at 10:49 PM
♥
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5 Martin J Simwaba
November 20, 2016 at 10:40 AM
Wow! I never thought people had so many different views on "cheating". But it's a good thing i got to read about it atleast this way, i am not a fan of cheaters and iam absolutely sure there is no way i'll ever become one.
So far i believed that when someone cheats, he/she commits an unforgivable sin and should face the consequences. But in consideration of what you guys opinionated about it, i may have to re-think of my views towards the subject.
But here is what i believe and stand for, 'when you marry you become one body one soul'. To make it short, when you decide to to marry someone, it doesn't mean its the end of problems, no; we're just humans and it is in our nature and there's no denying it. My point is, one shouldn't turn to things like cheating when faced with problems with a spouse, people always choose the easy way when faced with difficulty. They forget that the right path is always the hard one. The harder you fight for something, the harder it'll be to let go. (Something like that.)
To add the question about whether "cheating" is a physical or emmotional thing? I'd say it's both, but it gets worse when it gets physical. Because emotions are invisible, atleast you can only believe the lies your partner throws at you, but physical? That leaves so many scars that can't ever be erased.
Cheating is a sin in every religion and should be considered as such.
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Confession
November 20, 2016 at 4:40 PM
Hey Martin
So, a few months ago I would have written the same thought as you did.
I truly believe it, that cheating is unforgivable act and it's over once your partner go there.
Regardless to my belief, I CHEATED.
Wow writing this made me feel goosebumps, it's almost like looking into the mirror but your struggling to believe that is trurly your reflection.
So I CHEATED on my (Now) ex bff / boyfriend. I really did, and now we are over and hopefully for good.
You may hate me for saying these but honestly I'm relieved that we are over. Looking back it was a toxic relationship and I'm relieved that we can no longer hurt each other.
During our talk after the fact, he said that there is a chance he would forgive me and that at least we would remain friends. But the thing is I'm not hoping for forgiveness, actually I desperately don't want to be forgiven.
He said that he never took me as a cheater but what scared me that neither did I.
I don't want to be forgiven because then I may forgive myself, I'm terrified that I'd disregard CHEATING in the future and because if our places were reversed I'd never forgive him nor would I stay in such relationship for one second.
What I did make me wonder, is this who really I'm ?
Could I be faithful ?
Would I cheat on my next partner ?
And till this moment I have not found the answer for that.
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Confession
November 20, 2016 at 4:55 PM
If you may allow me to ask since I don't have another medium where I can ask that.
What / How should the cheater do / behave to help the offended party ?
To lessen the pain / To help them move on.
Is there anything to be done ?
And how should I treat him when our roads cross, play pretend friends (I'd here that the most) / acquaintances / strangers / apologize and get on my knees every time I see him ?
As for Karma, well i'm sure it will catch up to me sooner or later !!!
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6 mindy
November 20, 2016 at 12:08 PM
I'm trying to come up with K-Dramas that have female geeeenius leads and I'm coming up short. The only ones I can think of are J-Dramas (Keizoku 2: SPEC and Okitegami Kyoko).
WAIT. I THOUGHT OF ONE.
Kim So-hyun in Page Turner! She was a geeeeenius pianist.
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purpleowl
November 20, 2016 at 1:05 PM
And that right there is why Page Turner is an iconic masterpiece.
I'd say Nae-il's Cantabile. But I don't know if the k-version played up her genius as much as the anime.
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purpleowl
November 20, 2016 at 8:08 PM
Oh, wait. Shin-hye was a genius in Doctors. And well done in my opinion, since most genius make characters always think they are right.
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mindy
November 20, 2016 at 9:09 PM
I forgot about Doctors! I kinda dropped it after 2 episodes, haha.
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canxi
November 20, 2016 at 3:00 PM
I'm hoping that Korea (OCN or tvN) will one day do a remake of Hard Nut:
It's about a quirky math geeeeeeeeenius (who is also a college age young woman) who solves cases with a young, possibly ex-yakuza detective. She solves everything using...you guessed it! MATH. Hard to follow at times (math is honeslty my worst subject) but so much fun. She has a HUGE and super cute crush on the detective, who is unaware, so I think Beanies would love it.
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aweebit
November 20, 2016 at 5:22 PM
I would watch the heck out of this
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canxi
November 20, 2016 at 7:16 PM
It's a J-Drama. Go forth, my friend!
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aweebit
November 29, 2016 at 12:06 AM
I shall. Thank you kind compatriot of good dramas!
diniyuukie
November 21, 2016 at 1:06 AM
Thank you for the recommendation ! I'm now on ep 3 and I love the female lead so much ❤️ She's so cuteeeee !
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canxi
November 21, 2016 at 12:16 PM
Awwe, Yay!! You're welcome!
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7 divyrus
November 20, 2016 at 12:37 PM
There have been so many cheating discussions around Dramabeans these days and being young not even having a long term relationship at all in my life - I just feel like I have trespassed a very adult conversation. And I have not had that feeling since school,hehe.
Do continue beanies, even if I get nothing I still read all the comments and store it as different opinions and am sure when am old enough, they will be useful!
And unpopular opinion - on LOBS, yes Neon Ji Hyun is a badass, a great actress, brings mermaid to life but I literally have no emotional connection to her. As of now, only thing we know is, she is fascinated by human stuff. I just can't relate to her, and when I can't relate to her, I can't relate to her love. I can't even call it love, I feel.
Reveal me something about her, show. Make me she is real. I can't root for her when I don't get her.
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divyrus
November 20, 2016 at 12:38 PM
*Jeon Ji Hyun.
Damn you autocorrect !
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Amilia
November 20, 2016 at 2:58 PM
That's what makes that character tricky. She has to be very Other to be believable as a mermaid trapped on land, but she also has to be relatable enough for the audience to sympathize and be willing to go on the journey with her. Jeon Ji Hyun is doing it for me, but I can understand it not working for you.
Re: love. I don't think the mermaid means what other drama heroines mean when they say "I love you." She just asked the conman what love meant, he said it means you lose, that you believe everything that person tells you. Since she believes everything he tells her, she decides she must love him.
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purpleowl
November 20, 2016 at 8:11 PM
Good point on the conversation that lead up to the ILY bomb. That makes sense.
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8 sky
November 20, 2016 at 1:14 PM
Wow if @Licia's post becomes real then I think I would get more interested to the story than where it is right now. The conman becoming merman could bring such a different perspective to the drama, since I loved that scene where his mom was having sad gaze at the sea, though the parting scene were heartbreaking. Though I won't like to see LMH with a fish tail considering how they almost mentioned jjh's mermaid being a material worth of oil and all, but still I'm having amphibian man vibe from this implication.
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mary
November 20, 2016 at 2:33 PM
Who knows, this could be like Surplus Princess. He could have a fish head instead. :D
http://dr-myri-blog.blogspot.com/2014/09/surplus-princess-episode-4-songjaerimjob.html
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aweebit
November 20, 2016 at 5:27 PM
Isn't more likely that your picturing him like the image at the top of last week's Raves and Rants at Problematic of the Unproblematic?
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Eldalis
November 20, 2016 at 5:21 PM
Yesterday I googled "Lee Min Ho Legend of the Blue Sea" and I founded this as the first picture.
http://www.sporela.com/index.php/latest-entertainment-news/3704-lee-minho-jun-jihyun-confirmed-as-lovers-in-the-legend-of-blue-sea
I'm still perturbed by this picture.
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transient
November 20, 2016 at 7:22 PM
The picture is...
I can't decide whether to laugh or cringe
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purpleowl
November 20, 2016 at 8:18 PM
My complaints:
1) What is with the multiple tail pieces?
2) Why does the article think female merpersons are more "sexy" than male? That's lore and completely untrue. Mermen can be equally attractive. As Minho would be without that the 5-7 tail piece horror.
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redfox
November 20, 2016 at 11:34 PM
their idea of mermaids or mermen is wayyyyy too disney. if they relied even a little bit on mythology, you could get tickles of exitement from visual appearance alone.
yes, there are not too many merMAIDS in mythology, Most are indeed men. Some have a fish tail, some don´t. Not all are wise creatures. Some are blood-thirsty like vampires, some steal cattle, some steal children. The only thoroughly handsome mermen are probably Tritons, they come from ancient Greek after all, where muscular and sporty build was worshipped as much as intellect. In old slavic legends, however, there is a merman-like creature Vodjannõi, who has a slimy, frog-like skin with scales and algae growing all over his body, he has a long beard and sharp green teeth. Also, most mermaids in any baltic national folklore have bright green teeth and sometimes green hair. The Russalkas in russian mythology are perhaps most like our idea of a mermaid, but they are very pale, usually have blue hair, and are nearly always crying, sighing, and being extremely melancholic.
Kappa in japanese folklore is a mix of a merman and a vampire, who lives in a muddy pond and looks more like a hairy toad.
There is Matsya, who I hear is a fish-tailed version of god Vishnu. He saved people from a flood, taking them to the top of a mountain.
and the japanese ningyo, well - only the head is human, all the rest is fish, hair is slimy and messy, the mouth isn´t even human, the teeth are very small and sharp and eating the ningyo will make you immortal. if, that is, your boat can make it to the shore in the superstorm created when you catch one.
so much material. and what are they giving us?
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suegarbaby
November 21, 2016 at 4:23 AM
LOL. That's probably because aside from the Disney/ Triton mermans, none of the other fishy-equivalents make for pretty boy viewing. And you know how viewers like their pretty boys. It would be a waste of LMH if he was made into say, a hairy toad. Just think about the potential ratings drop that would entail.
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redfox
November 21, 2016 at 10:57 AM
well, someone with a little more fascinating visuals is possible though. green eyes, blue hair, scaled shoulders, stuff like that. and a bit more mysterious and controversial. the mermaid is too-human-like. she is supposed to be from a different world entirely. I guess it is not a korean drama thing to make mythical creatures actually INTERESTING, they think the title mermaid is enough mystery
9 bananachocolate
November 20, 2016 at 1:38 PM
Wow all these comments about infidelity and allows me a perspective on marriage and so on. Because I have not experience this firsthand and my wisdom isn't so far stretch but I want to expand on Nerdy's comment about the child. Depending on the child's age and perception, they can be aware of the falling of the marriage. At least that was the case for me. And that child would at least want to be told that things are not going to be the same as it used to be before. Because from my experience, it was such a shock for me to finally hear it at a very later time ("we are going to divorce" ) despite knowing that the two people who gave birth to me were going at each other's throat before the process of divorce. And I know empathy should be extended to a degree on both sides but the issue of morality is debatable. And that the two people may be emotionally cut off that they don't want to share it to another person even if that person is their child and that the child is not at an age where they can fully understand it, but hey, it doesn't hurt to let the child know you are distress and unhappy with the other person. Sometimes the communication between the partner to partner should be extended to the child, when the relationship of the parents is starting to fall apart.
Not saying that this is applicable to every child and that I'm "right", but this is my perspective on this.
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amaimikan
November 20, 2016 at 9:42 PM
"Wow all these comments about infidelity and allows me a perspective on marriage and so on." :)
When I was 4th grade student, I found a divorce paper hidden in my mum's agenda but in the end my parents didn't split. A year after, I found out my father cheated on my mother and hence she asked for divorce. My parents never know that I know about this.
I'm very much agree, when parents do split up, their children need explanation too. Because family isn't only consist of parents.
Reading these comments and different perspectives about infidelity, actually reopens my wound.
As stated above:
"But I really don’t understand how someone who has been cheated on can ever really trust the unfaithful spouse enough to continue in the relationship ever again. It happens, I know. They are just a better person than I am."
Until now, as an adult myself, no longer I can trust my father. Yes, perhaps my mother is just a whole better person than I am.
In honesty, all of this help me to understand better, to look deeper on my views towards marriage and relationships, to know there are layers of trust and love.
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10 Salva
November 20, 2016 at 2:43 PM
I love how dramas make me ask and answer some deeper, less black and white questions. Cheating is wonderful example of that especially since we had two different approaches shown to us. I started reconsidering my attitude towards it when I read so many comments which were not exactly aligning with my view. In my view marriage ends not with the signing of a paper but with people clearly breaking up with each other. It is going back on some serious vows, but people break promises all the time.
For me cheating is a deal breaker, but I have to say I haven't gotten into a relationship that was years long and slowly going towards spending whole life together. What is curious though is that for most people physical cheating is a deal breaker, but for me it's the emotional one. My tolerance threshold is skewed. Emotional infidelity is something I could not forgive. I won't even mention physical one because for me it always starts with emotional part. No matter whether it is deep friendship or a fling. If in that moment someone was more important than me... well then, by all means, proceed, just without me. It might come from the position of someone who has only theoretical knowledge about the subject, but I feel rather strongly about it.
I also wanted to add a curious tid bit. Evolutionary speaking females are more oriented and more affected by emotional infidelity, while males are more sensitive towards physical one. I cannot quote exact articles at the moment but most males seem seriously threatened by the thought that a woman had a chance to have a child with another man, while a woman feels threatened by the prospect of other female securing attention of their caretaker. I always get interested in ethology and how it affects our lives, and this seems strangely in contrast to what I see in comments where most people condemn physical cheating more than emotional one.
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11 Telumiel
November 20, 2016 at 3:05 PM
@ Imbuk
Definitely appreciate your perspective on how different sports develop muscles differently. I would go further and say that different sports rely on different underlying body types. Someone with the genetic makeup of a gymnast is never going to make it as a weight lifter and a basketball player would find it very difficult to succeed as a gymnast. There was a photo comparison of athletes I saw and it was very interesting to see body types related to muscle related to specific sport.
I would also agree that I hope they give the lesson that what your heart is matters more that what your appearance is. But I would also add that I hope they remind viewers that there are different types of beauty. One thing that always strike me is the need to conform to a very specific beauty standard. I see physical beauty as something with a lot more options than what appears to be the standard in Korean culture, or at least kdramas. Perhaps it is because I grew up where there is so much variety that was praised as beautiful, I'm not sure. (My friends and I have had the beauty, culture, etc conversation multiple times.) I would not want to her attitude toward not being the petite gymnast be "I may not be beautiful but at least I have a good heart." No, I want her to be able to have no inferiority issues and be able to say "I am beautiful and I have a beautiful heart." Because both are true.
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imbuk
November 20, 2016 at 7:31 PM
Re: Body types
Oh! I didn't know that. I have always thought whatever sports you start playing, your body will adapt to that. Thanks for that info.
Re: Appearance
Nice to know you grew up in a place where different kinds of beauty were appreciated. But where I am from, there is a standard type of beauty as well (lean and fair). So, sadly we only get to see heroines who look like that though we have all types of skin and body type people here.
>> "I am beautiful and I have a beautiful heart"
Wow! That's an awesome point, JC. I hope we get to see her say that too and I wish each person thinks of themselves this way.
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12 Fye
November 20, 2016 at 4:51 PM
I love you all, beanies <3
This week's beans of wisdom is really good. I even share this thread link to my friends.
Thank you! Thank you for creating this thread.
❤❤❤
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13 aweebit
November 20, 2016 at 5:33 PM
Wow two comments this from me here this week! Can't take any credit though, Jealousy was just so amazing I had overcome my lurker tendencies and come extravagantly luxuriate in all the feels with you wonderful people. :)
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Quinze
November 21, 2016 at 9:48 AM
lol same. So surprising to see my comments on this week's Beans! I was waxing poetic about JI until the very end. I have yet to get on that level of dedication yet with the current round of dramas. Still, flattered.
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14 imbuk
November 20, 2016 at 8:07 PM
As lunatic4kd said, I am untested by time too, so, its nice to read all these different perspectives about cheating. I feel like I am truly gaining wisdom or at least a capacity to be more open minded about things (that are generally tabooed and I don't get to hear it discussed much) by reading these comments. So, thank you beanies and dramabeans.
Pebble's comment is just awesome! Especially this line:
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pebble
November 21, 2016 at 3:42 AM
Hi @Imbuk, just to clarify, that line was actually quoted from a very famous saying by an anonymous, so italics was used for the whole sentence to differentiate it.
Though you claimed to be untested by time, many of your comments were well thought-out, well balanced and articulated, I did enjoy reading them, especially the ones you posted in JI recap. :)
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15 Deandra
November 20, 2016 at 8:58 PM
I'm waiting for the angst from Night Light. Give me very dark story please. I'm getting bored with the romance, doctors, lawyers-related stories.
I hope I won't disappointed.
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16 lunaticandra
November 20, 2016 at 10:31 PM
After my last post in JI last episode, I didn't recheck the thread again. If it is not for wisdom, I wouldn't know that I have so much replies already. Yeah.. time to move on to another thread!
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17 siesta
November 21, 2016 at 3:37 PM
You know, if there's ever an actress you hate, you can always wish her to be cast as Lee jongsuk's mother. It's like the ultimate curse in kdramaland.
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18 royal
November 21, 2016 at 9:14 PM
I love your comment on Fairytail Kim Bokjoo, Imbuk. Just had to leave a comment to say that.
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