Kill Me, Heal Me: Episode 19

by purplecow

Healing can be a difficult process, but it’s always better when you don’t have to go through it alone. Do-hyun and Ri-jin are reunited at last, and woe to any who would try to part them again. They are determined to piece together the truth of their past, no matter what remains hidden or how it may change them. The showdown for Seungjin Group draws ever closer, and while the past gives up its secrets one by one, the future grows murkier than ever.

 
EPISODE 19 RECAP

Chief Ahn stands guard in the hallway outside Do-hyun’s new office, until a noise from inside draws his attention. He enters the office, where Do-hyun and Ri-jin are embracing and giggling like a pair of high-school sweethearts.

The chief reprimands Do-hyun for being so careless in the office, with hostile eyes and ears all around. The shareholders’ meeting is approaching, and Do-hyun has to be at his most focused. Chief Ahn tells Ri-jin to wait at the apartment.

Ri-jin tries to sneak out of the office, but runs into Ki-joon on the way out. He recognizes her immediately, in spite of her spy shades.

Ki-joon reminds Ri-jin of how they met, joking that they must have been fated to meet again. But he soon reveals his true motive by asking Ri-jin to take his side in the next shareholders’ meeting. If she does, he will make sure she receives the stocks she’s entitled to by birth.

Ri-jin informs him that she hates taking sides, so they have nothing more to talk about. Ki-joon tries to get her to stay, but Ri-jin says she no longer works at the company and that she can leave whenever she wants.

Ki-joon’s secretary searches for a locker that can be opened by Alex’s key. If the information they find is useful, Ki-joon will authorize more money to be sent to Alex in return for knowledge of Do-hyun’s weakness.

Do-hyun finds Alex’s hotel room, where his former friend wakes up after a night of binge drinking, still bloody from Se-gi’s harsh treatment. Alex demands payment, while Do-hyun says it’s partly his fault that Alex ended up this way. Instead of paying him to keep his mouth shut, Do-hyun should have simply punched him and moved on—maybe then Alex wouldn’t have fallen into gambling and drugs.

Now Do-hyun refuses to pay up. “If you expose my secret,” he tells Alex, “I’ll come back and punch you. Because you’re still my friend.”

But once he leaves the hotel room, Do-hyun tells Chief Ahn to settle Alex’s gambling debts and arrange for him to enter rehab. He doesn’t think of it as paying Alex off or getting him out of the way, but rather as a way of atoning for past mistakes by giving Alex a chance to get his life back on track.

Ki-joon receives a call from Alex, who gives him the location of the locker. Ki-joon’s secretary finds it and uses the key to open it… but there’s nothing there.

At the apartment, Chief Ahn reveals that Alex changed his mind at the last moment, so he was able to clear out the locker before Ki-joon’s secretary got to it. The locker had contained a set of movies that all featured multiple personalities, which definitely would have been enough to tip off Ki-joon.

Now that Do-hyun has a little breathing room, Chief Ahn urges him to find some weakness they can use to attack Ki-joon’s side at the shareholders’ meeting. Do-hyun wants everything to be aboveboard, however; he wants to win his own way, not his grandmother’s. At that moment a call comes in with news that makes Do-hyun rush outside right away.

The man who called has news about Min Seo-yeon’s car accident, which may not actually have been an accident. The driver on the day of the crash was new, and even though Grandpa and Seo-yeon were supposedly heading to the airport with all possible haste, the site of the crash was in the suburbs—not directly on the way to the airport.

Chief Ahn reminds Do-hyun that he shouldn’t believe their informant completely without further confirmation. Still, Do-hyun wonders who had the most to benefit should the president and the chairman of Seungjin Group suddenly pass away.

Do-hyun’s mom visits her husband in his hospital room, and apologizes for using him. She is relieved now that Do-hyun has returned to the company, but she urges Joon-pyo to wake up so he can stand by Do-hyun’s side.

Do-hyun meets with Grandma Seo, who knows he has been looking into the car accident. She admits that there were many rumors flying around after the accident, but denies having had anything to do with it. Grandma changes the topic to the shareholders’ meeting, telling Do-hyun that they have a new ally who happens to be waiting just outside. The door opens, revealing Chae-yeon. Meanwhile, Ki-joon receives some paperwork from an American company, concerning Do-hyun’s medical records.

Chae-yeon tells Do-hyun what she offered Grandma Seo in exchange for her support. It was a cheap way to try to win Do-hyun back, but she says it was his fault for playing with her heart first. Do-hyun admits that he loves someone else, and finally tells Chae-yeon the truth. At the same time that Chae-yeon staggers down the stairs, shocked by the truth, Ki-joon reads the report revealing that Do-hyun has D.I.D.

At the family restaurant, Ri-jin receives a call from Do-hyun. He asks her to tell him again that she likes him, and Ri-jin puts up only a token protest before complying. “I miss you,” Do-hyun says.

Just like that, Ri-jin is packing up her things and leaving the restaurant, even though the sun is already down. Mom asks her to reconsider working for her mystery chaebol again, but Ri-jin only says that she’s lucky to have such a great base camp she can return to any time. She hugs Mom tightly, while Dad badgers her to hug him too.

Ri-on is uncharacteristically somber as he drives Ri-jin to Do-hyun’s apartment, telling her to keep her eyes straight ahead when she gives him a worried look. They reach the apartment and see Do-hyun, waiting in his little folding chair.

Ri-jin teases Do-hyun that he should install a bench in front of his apartment, since he always ends up sitting there. Ri-on arrives with Ri-jin’s luggage, but Do-hyun asks him to have a drink before he goes.

The two men share a drink, and Do-hyun apologizes for not keeping his promise to stay away from Ri-jin. “How can I blame you when my own sister was an accomplice?” Ri-on replies. He aks Do-hyun to think about the strange fate that connects the two of them to Ri-jin: If Seungjin Group had accepted her into the family, then it might have been Do-hyun who grew up seeing Ri-jin like a sibling.

But it was Ri-on, and so he had to make a difficult decision. He chose to become the world’s best brother, because that’s who Ri-jin needed most. Ri-on asks Do-hyun to look after Ri-jin from now on, and to keep her from getting hurt.

Ri-on walks alone along the street, remembering all the moments he tried to help Ri-jin. He starts to cry as he thinks of all the hardships she went through, while he could only support her as a brother. “I can do that for you,” he says in voiceover. “I’ll only be your brother.”

Do-hyun wanders back to his apartment, and this time Ri-jin is outside waiting for him. He sits next to her and surprises her by speaking in banmal. When she asks why he’s suddenly speaking like Se-gi, he replies that they were already friends many years ago, and they should speak however they feel like in the moment.

“I miss you,” Do-hyun whispers. Even when they’re together, he misses her. No matter what happens, he says, they have to be happy. Ri-jin smiles and lays her head down on his shoulder.

Ri-jin and Do-hyun meet with Dr. Seok, who is pleased to hear that they both have a rough understanding of what happened in the past, as well as the sources of most of Do-hyun’s personalities. He lists possibilities for long-term treatment, but Do-hyun and Ri-jin prefer to work together, matching their piecemeal memories and supporting each other.

Dr. Seok believes that this method may work, and then hilariously chides his student and former patient for being so obvious about holding hands in public. But in the end, he gives them his blessing.

Do-hyun and Ri-jin meet in his office for a consultation, where Ri-jin says that there’s no need to remove the personalities by force. They’re all part of Do-hyun, so he should simply accept himself as he is and match his memories together. Do-hyun agrees, but asks Ri-jin to start by sharing what she remembers.

Ri-jin remembers her first birthday after her mother passed away, when Do-hyun brought her a cake and a sparkler (I guess he always had a thing for fire…) and sang her Happy Birthday. He promised to take her to see the fireworks. That birthday became the happiest memory she had after realizing that her mother was never going to come back and take her away.

Do-hyun shares a memory of his own, from the days immediately after he had returned to the mansion. He didn’t know how to live in such a fancy place, and was often scolded for things like failing to memorize his multiplication tables. But Ri-jin was kind to him, setting up a picnic on the lawn where they could play house. Ri-jin placed her stuffed bear next to them—it was supposed to be their child, named Na-na.

In the present, Do-hyun thinks of something he wants to do. He invites Ri-jin to come with him, to a place where they can do what they always wanted to do as children.

Do-hyun and Ri-jin sit together on a carnival ride at the amusement park. For a moment, they see their younger selves waving at them, and Do-hyun waves back.

In the gift shop, Ri-jin looks around for presents she can give to Do-hyun’s personalities. She thinks about a new bear for Na-na, a model boat for Perry Park with his name across the side, and a diary for Yo-sub to write his poems in. She complains about Yo-na’s personality while picking out a pink headband, and asks Do-hyun what kind of present Se-gi might want.

The two of them walk around outside, visiting the carriage where Se-gi first kissed Ri-jin during the fireworks show. Ri-jin reflects that Se-gi has the worst emotional scar out of all the personalities, and Do-hyun says that unless Se-gi is able to let out his rage towards his father and Seungjin Group, he will never be able to disappear. Ri-jin asks what kind of father Joon-pyo was.

Do-hyun explains about the origin of the Perry Park persona, and how his resentment towards his father is mixed with his yearning for the time when he loved his father. Ri-jin asks him which is stronger—the resentment Se-gi carries, or the yearning embodied by Perry Park?

Do-hyun only asks how Ri-jin can be so calm, when she has every right to hate Joon-pyo with all her heart. While Ri-jin was terrified when her memories first started coming back, after a while she only felt empty.

Do-hyun knows that as long as Ri-jin suffers even a little bit from what his father did to her, Se-gi will always be liable to strike back. The only way for them both to move on is to forgive the perpetrator. In a hospital somewhere in Seoul, Joon-pyo’s fingers twitch suddenly.

Back at the apartment, Perry Park finds that someone has bought him a gift. He tests his new fishing rod with an expression of pure bliss, but that’s not all—Ri-jin has brought chicken and beer. Not just any beer, mind you, but her father’s best brew, the kind that Perry failed to taste last time.

Now Perry drinks to his heart’s content, and asks Ri-jin to tell her father that out of all the beers Perry Park has tasted during his life, this is the best. Ri-jin wonders why Perry is speaking as though he’s going away, and Perry replies that he’s the oldest of all the personalities, so he should set a proper example.

Ri-jin asks Perry why he tried so hard to save her during the Leather Jacket Incident. Was it because he felt guilty for not being able to save her from the fire twenty-one years ago? Perry scoffs, but not very convincingly. Then he says he has one final message to give Ri-jin before he leaves.

“Please take care of my kid,” Perry says. He feels confident that he can leave now, because he trusts Ri-jin to look after Do-hyun. And he asks Ri-jin to forget about the past and enjoy her life. He adopts as serious a tone as we’ve ever heard when he tells her to stay healthy.

“Maybe one more glass,” Perry muses now that he’s had his say, but as he reaches for the beer his head starts to hurt. He manages one last smile at Ri-jin and says he’s feeling sleepy, then falls face-first onto the table. Ri-jin starts crying in earnest, calling out to Perry.

We see Perry Park embarking on a journey in Do-hyun’s mind, armed with his fishing gear. He opens a door, and once the blinding light fades, he finds himself on a dock stretching out over the water, with a boat moored at the end. Perry salutes the boat which bears his name and smiles, while a single tear falls down his cheek.

Do-hyun wakes up, and Ri-jin lets him know that Perry Park has come and gone for the last time. He left Do-hyun a final message, that he should live freely. Those words remind him of what his father told him, before Seungjin Group tore the family apart.

Do-hyun’s mother has a drink with Grandma Seo, admitting that she’s had trouble sleeping since learning about Do-hyun’s affliction. She tells Grandma that she understands now how painful it must have been to see her son in a coma for all those years. Mom finally reveals her real reason for seeking out Grandma: Do-hyun has met with Min Seo-yeon’s child.

A shadowy figure sneaks into Ri-jin’s bedroom in the night. The next morning, Ri-jin and Do-hyun examine something strange in the living room. Chief Ahn arrives, saying that the cameras caught Do-hyun sneaking around just before dawn. “Could it be?” they gasp, staring at each other in horror. “The appearance of a new personality?!” The spray-painted X on the wall is their only reply.

 
COMMENTS

And the mysterious Mr. X has arrived! There has been a lot of speculation about who he might be or what he might want, and now we’ll simply have to wait until the finale to find out. I love that the show kept a new personality in reserve for the final episode, because it ramps up our expectations for something beyond the Shareholders’ Meeting of Doom.

We have always known that there would be a Seungjin Group showdown near the end of the show—all of the family maneuvering couldn’t end any other way. But for me, the appeal of the show from the very first episode derived from Do-hyun juggling both internal and external conflicts. For that reason, I’m very happy to see that even as Do-hyun’s alters seem to be settling down, with some even moving on, a new one has appeared out of nowhere to restore some much-needed tension.

We’re very close to the end of the wonderful journey that has been Kill Me, Heal Me, as hard as it is to admit it to myself. I could watch Yo-na and Se-gi wreak havoc for a lot longer than they did without getting tired of it, but then all good things must come to an end. And if at all possible, it’s best to go out with a bang (metaphorically, of course—Perry doesn’t do that sort of thing anymore).

A lot of loose ends were tied up well in this episode, without feeling as if they’ve been handled too neatly. Ri-on achieved some measure of closure with his conversation with Do-hyun, even though we see that his decision doesn’t mean his pain disappears. Whether you found his struggle compelling or not, I think it’s hard to imagine anyone bowing out with more class.

We also see the end of Do-hyun’s desire to fight through everything on his own, and I for one couldn’t be happier. Of course his problems don’t resolve themselves immediately, nor should we expect them to. His memories are coming back, little by little, now that he’s trying to piece them together with Ri-jin. It will no doubt be a long process, but we can rest a little easier now that they’ve actually started.

Last episode, Ri-on said something that stuck with me. He was talking to Ri-jin about Do-hyun’s personalities, and why they seemed to be hovering around Ri-jin even though Do-hyun had determined to stay away. For Ri-jin, thinking as a psychologist, it was probable that Do-hyun was merely under a lot of stress. But Ri-on would rather think like a writer, and that approach led him to think that Do-hyun’s personalities were doing their best to bring Do-hyun and Ri-jin together.

I think the show as a whole does a wonderful job of balancing medical fact and emotional truth, and making sure that emotion always has the upper hand. We can find closure and solace in narrative, and we don’t have to limit ourselves to clinical reports or professional advice. That’s why we can be overjoyed rather than disturbed by a doctor falling for her patient, and why Do-hyun and Ri-jin can reject Dr. Seok’s list of options for long-term treatment—they would rather help each other, thank you very much. Bad science? Probably. But does it make for a better story? I think so.

And now that it’s time for me to finish up my final recap for Kill Me, Heal Me, there’s really only one thing I have to say: R.I.P., Perry Park. Whatever happens in the finale, I’ll feel better knowing that you are out there sailing the seas of eternity, carefree and happy in the ship that bears your name. So long, Perry—you will be missed.

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