Beans of Wisdom: A deeper look at female leads

by DB Staff

This week in Beans of Wisdom…

In “Tomorrow With You: Episode 1,” gummimochi asked how the hero can time-travel in public without raising suspicions. lina answers in comment #16:

Korean people always starring at their cellphone’s screen on the subway, hence they will never notice a cutie time traveller appear and disappear on the subway. Lol

In #54.1, transient talks about the struggle of actors to maintain privacy:

I really like how this drama highlights the struggle of child actress that failed to transition into adult actress. To see her struggle from her point of view, makes me feel secondhand guilt (not that I have ever posted any negative comments on any actors online before). It reminded me that no matter how publicly visible the actor/singer is, at the day, they are just human with feelings and how they live their life is solely their decision, and we have no right to judge them.

transient adds:

Child stars had it the hardest. Regardless whether they continue working in the entertainment industry or not, people will always be curious and tend to forget that they are their own person and not the character that they portrayed on screen. Coupled that with adolescent and growing up issues, emotionally inexperienced child stars usually succumbed to the pressure.

In this case, Ma Rin’s alcoholic issues may be traced back to the pressure from the society by being a child actress. She must’ve had it hard when even her mother failed to recognize her for the person she is, instead stuck to identify her as Bap Soon.

While I do not condone excessive drinking, I can understand why she did that and felt sorry for her.

In “Tomorrow With You: Episode 2,” Emsel writes in comment #25:

I would like to take time to appreciate dialogue writer. The line where So Joon says, “Present is a joke” and his friend replies, ” You travel between present and future but all we have is now”, is so beautiful.

Isn’t this why we should all stop worrying about our future and stop getting distressed of the choices we took in the past? Only present exists and it is up to us to make the most of it because life is short. The key to life lies in understanding that nothing is certain because everything is susceptible to change. Living would be a hell, if you were to see everything beforehand because you miss out on happiness by trying to alter the events that lead to a specific future. That being said the lead trying to prevent his death in the future is only resulting in causing heartache for both the girl and himself. So do what your heart wants rather than confining to norms. It is better to be surprised of what life may hold than be disappointed by expecting things in the future. YOLO!

And Wanwen notes in #32:

It’s interesting how So Joon only lives in the future while Marin lives in her past. So do they both cancel out each other’s tendencies and start living in the present?

Mindy answers a fellow beanie’s question in last week’s “Beans of Wisdom: A healthy K-drama-watching life,” comment #2:

Ahhh, the challenge of balancing drama watching with school and your social life. I’m a Junior in college and think I’ve learned a lot about this. Let me give you some tips.

– Don’t make the mistake I did: watching dramas or even just reading recaps while waiting for class to start. At least not during your first year. You might also want to avoid doing it while eating lunch. These times are great times to strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Trust me, you don’t want to find yourself having no one to talk to in your class halfway through the semester because you didn’t bother to talk to anyone at the beginning.

– Any time someone invites you to do something, don’t use drama watching as an excuse even if you’re in the middle of a really good episode. The drama can wait!

– Don’t try to take drama watching breaks in the middle of studying or writing a paper. It won’t work. You will end up watching way more than you intended to. Instead, figure a reasonable amount of work that you should get done that day and THEN, once you have completed everything, watch your dramas.

Ar adds:

It’s also better to save marathoning for long weekends and vacations. I remember sticking to on air dramas so I only have 1 or 2 hours of new material to watch each day.

While acciokdramas expounds on a quote about misinterpreting silence in comment #10:

I’d like to add my two cents to that people interpreting your silence discussion:

The quote does not mean for you to actively change who you are in order to not be viewed as rude/aloof/depressed. I saw this quote before on Instagram, and it struck me deep. I’ve always been shy since I was a small kid, but it’s been slowly fading away. However, in new situations with new people, I’m still considered quite shy. Thus I spoke out more, to the point where my words didn’t quite ring true and my energy was drained trying to be someone I was not comfortable with being. So the moral of this is please don’t change who you are, because that’s not the purpose of the quote.

On one hand, this quote can be taken as an eye-opener. Humans are egocentric by nature, so we’ve always viewed our worlds according to us, how stuff affects us, etc. It takes a lot for us to realize that how we view ourselves may not be how others perceive us – so we have to tell them. This can remind you to be more open and vulnerable to your loved ones or close friends, especially at those times when you tend to bottle up your feelings more or whenever a misunderstanding occurs (you won’t believe how many problems occur just because two people believe that each’s perspective about the other is the correct one and thus do not communicate).

On the other hand, this quote can also be a firm reminder for you: that no matter how much you try, you will never be able to control how others see you. You simply can’t. People will form opinions of you based on their own perspectives, experiences in life, judgments and things they’ve seen/heard about you, which may or may not be true. They fill in the gaps about you using their own feelings and instinct. Hence, who you are in their perspective is NOT who you are in real life. This is why I keep telling others not to base your self-esteem on others’ opinions and be firm in knowing who you are. If you know who you are and who you aren’t, opinions of other people will roll off you like wind. You’ll be able to live life more freely, with a much more open heart. For me, that’s how I perceive this quote to be.

Ms Lee shares her situation and asks for advice in comment #13:

Hi guys, since we are discussing finding balance,I thought I would ask for a little help.

I’m new to kdramas (started watching BOF in December 2016 & my life has never been the same)

I feel like im struggling with being emotionally Balanced when I watch dramas. E.g. I’m watching hwarang at the moment & my heart literally beats faster at the story line (FYI it’s frustrating) I had the same feeling when I was watching Descendants of the Sun. I get really nervous especially when something huge is happening or things are not going the way I expect them to.

I have watched a lot of TV shows/series (not kdrama) & I don’t think I have been this affected by anything else. (Is this a kdrama side effect that I should be worried about?)

I think I’m struggling with getting too emotionally and mentally involved with these dramas & I want it to stop. I just want to watch a good show without feeling drained because of the story line. How can I stop myself from getting so involved?

Any advice will be welcome.
Thanks,
A Kdrama Newbie

shamrockmom:

Dear Newbie: Before I started watching Kdramas 4 years ago, no US/UK TV show was even mildly interesting. Then my son introduced me to BOF. I was completely sucked in. I cried, swore, and cried some more. Why did it bring up such powerful feelings? I thought maybe it was a one time thing. Then Secret Love Affair happened, and it pushed nearly every emotional button I had and then some. I knew when I threw my tablet into the local riverbed after the last episode I had gone way too far emotionally. I literally cried for weeks after show ended. I finally found my way back to some semblance of balance after writing 100K words of FF, taking up the piano, and starting a blog where I can write my emotions about Kdramas in a (hopefully) constructive way instead of destroying electronic devices.
I highly encourage you to write when you get those nervous feelings when you watch dramas. Even if no one but you reads it. You might be surprised at the insight you will gain in other areas of life. There’s a reason you feel the way you do, and the show is bringing it to your attention.
I agree about choosing your shows carefully. If you find the content disturbing, drop it. Life is too short, and there’s too many other dramas available!

While Sakura shares this cute meta story in comment #9 of “Defendant: Episode 5”:

Sooyoung commented on Yuri’s selca “Whatever, is Ha-yeon alive or not just tell me that.” LOL she wanted them spoilers xD

Glad to know Sooyoung is invested in Defendan’t story too!

In “Top 10 favorite drama directors” comment #38, sorrynotsorry writes:

I usually focus more on writers and a few favorite actors than PDs though I’ve learned many writes and PDs work together since the trust has been built.

I’m glad DB mentioned that often PDs are given a drama and they have to get it done. Often I see when new dramas come out and the PD’s previous works are mentioned, they get dissed because of faulty stories which they don’t have much control over unless they are upper tier PDs. I think it’s important to realize a lot of times they are not given a choice of dramas.

I also think that the actors are the most vulnerable. They get a a few episodes and a synopsis and constant criticism of “they need to choose more wisely” when it doesn’t go well. The more I learn, the more I realize it really is a crap shoot.

Mandy writes her reservations about leadership in “Hwarang: Episode 15” comment #18:

I liked Ji-dwi a lot at first even if I found Sun Woo always much more charismatic as a character. Of course that might just be the difference in acting abilities, but Ji-dwi feels too tame and puppet-like even if the whole time he was fighting to not be one. He screams about wanting to cut off the Queen and yet it feels like he’s too scared of consequences should it truly happen. I understand his fears, and his realization of the kind of political uproar it would bring should he announce his real identity. But him thinking of consequences meant lives were lost. And to people, a King who can’t protect his people isn’t worthy of being King.

Sun Woo, on the other hand, always felt so much more fitted to be King. He’s courageous, loyal and truly cares for the people – not just through words, but also through action. He’s fearless in a rash way but it always feels like he’d never lose a battle despite being in the weaker side. He’s also extremely smart when he needs to be understanding how to deal with difficult people and situations. I find him extremely fascinating and charming. But more than anything, he’s trustworthy. And to people, putting your trust on someone who puts everything in line to save others? That’s someone really worthy of being King.

I know what history tells me, and yet this story is written in a way that I feel Ji-dwi is completely underserving if Silla has Sun-woo as another option for King. If Sun-woo truly is royal, then it makes it even more difficult to accept someone as cowardly as Ji-dwi (in comparison to Sun-woo). I know why Ji-dwi did what he did – and I understand too. But it still doesn’t change the fact that someone else is more worthy and capable of the title he so desperately wants.

Kim replies:

I agree with all the qualities you listed of Sunwoo, and I can see where you’re coming from, but I don’t see Sunwoo as king though. To me he’s indeed a leader and most definitely more charismatic, much more than Ji-dwi at the moment, but looking in account of his character, I think he’s more fitted to live a free and careless life, like the life he has in the begin of the drama. Being a leader does not mean he has to be king. He has always have that leadership quality, from the way he helped and protected his friend Makmoon, to his void for revenge for the death of his friend, to taking the responsibility as the son of his friend’s father and brother to his sister, and of course to all the things he has done now such as faking as the crown prince to help his people.

But instead of thinking he’s more deserving to be king, I think it’s more accurate to say he’s deserving to he called the hero. He doesn’t have to bear the title as the king to be the leader/hero of the story.

While jen raises questions about how we view female leads in comment #22:

I have been reading comments about ppl not liking Ahro which is simply astounding to me.

This poor girl practically raised herself (her father was MIA), she taught herself medicine!, she started earning money from her storytelling and the aforementioned doctoring skills because her father was MIA and treated ppl for free (which is usually great, but not so great when your teenage daughter has to earn for herself and you). At every turn she is shown to be kind, generous and intelligent. It is no wonder to me that everybody in the drama likes her. And by the way while she was doing all of that, the boys were playing football and seducing women.

It is ok not to like a character of course; everyone has preferences but so much of the hatred against Ahro stems from the fact the a) she needs saving, b) she cries and c) she didn’t pick Ji dwi who a lot of ppl like better.

a) she needs saving because ppl are constantly kidnapping her because of the stupid boys. It sucks that that happens but it is not her fault. Would it be nice if she knew self-defence? Perhaps, but I am glad she doesn’t because most girls don’t. She got thrown in the jail because she was being kind to a little boy (the person who actually got them thrown into this mess was ban ryu). Whatever the male leads do in reaction to her is their decision. You don’t like the decision, blame your favorite oppas, not her.

b) she cries a lot because she has a lot to cry about. It is not like she has another outlet. So now girls can’t cry because that means they are not “strong”? Bullshit. I have zero problems in my life and yet I still cry. If I were in her situation I would be crying a lot more and lets be honest, so would most of you.

c) A lot of the vitrol against her comes from the fact that she rejected ji dwi. Lets not even pretend that that’s not true. In most drams, the girl often gives the second lead hope and strings him along but that was absolutely not the case here. She doesn’t like your fave, please get over it. She is not a vessel for his happiness. She is her own person who deserves to choose the person who makes her happy.

The misogynist nature of ppl’s hatred towards her is what bothers me. Let the girl breath and be. Try to give her the quarter of the leeway everybody constantly gives the male leads. There are always hundred and one excuses for why the guys in the story act the way they do; most of their failings are quickly and easily excused. Try and give her the benefit of the doubt too. She is more accomplished than the guys, she has the guts to do the right thing and always stands up for what she believes in. She has literally never done anything wrong.

Is Go Ara’s acting the best in the world? NO. Is it the worst? NO. Is Ahro used as a plot point? YES. Is she used as a prop for the male leads to react to? YES. All of that is unfortunate but this vitriol against her is even more unfortunate.

I apologize for this long post. But…

Kayla replies:

I see where you’re coming from and I agree with some of your points, but overall, I still do not like Ahro–as a WRITTEN character. The blame is not on the actress herself, but the shitty writing/directing. Hear me out:

I do not like her NOT because she rejects Jidwi. If anything, her rejection of him has been the most constant thing about her throughout this tiring drama. Her one saving grace (to me) is her loyalty to, and love for, Sunwoo. Like you said, Ahro is a plot device. Thus, she is an extension of (mainly) Sunwoo and is only relevant to that extent. She’s a one-dimensional cotton candy heroine who’s only as important as the love she has with and for the hero. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE HER. Not because she rejects their oppas (or whatever) they do not like her because she is a badly written character that lacks depth and can’t emote to save her life (I say it’s 80% bad directing/characterization and 10% bad acting.)

I do not blame Go ara that her character is written as a TSTL damsel in distress. That’s not her fault. BUT, I can say that she is clearly lacking in this role. Both male leads are acting circles around her and many people cannot connect with either lovelines because of HER, not because of either male leads. They have more chemistry with each other than they do with her. That’s when you know she’s the problem; that she’s the weak link.

But again, I don’t completely blame her, like I said. In the beginning episodes she overacted but was bearable. She started off as a spunky character but became a puddle of water (them tears though, lol). You see, it’s hard for viewers to reconcile the spunky girl they EXPECTED with the damsel in distress she came to be. Again, I blame this more on bad directing/writing than Go ara as an actress but I can’t entirely let her off the hook right? She was weak in this role, we just gotta accept it.

I love that you analyze this deeply and humanize her but seriously, you are giving this drama (its writers/directors) too much credit. They basically wrote her as a weak damsel in distress and as part of both male lead’s story arc. They’ll remember that she’s her own person and throw in the fact that she knows medicine or that she’s kind to kids here and there BUT it is not organic. It feels out of place. It’s like they’re trying to tell us we should like her but we can’t BECAUSE they wrote her so badly.

*That scene where the princess tried to shoot her & she just stood there like O.O was like the last f’in straw. I was done with that girl lol.

Overall, the bad writing/directing is the root problem. I say she deserves the hate because out of everyone, she is the worst written. I will not excuse her poor behavior “she cries alot cuz she has reason to, she needs saving all the time cuz of the male leads, etc.” NAWH, it’s just poor writing & she’s a shitty character. Let viewers hate on her so the writers will know they dun royally F’ED UP.

We won’t quote the whole thread here, but it’s a good read with merits on both sides exploring our feelings towards certain characters in dramas. You can read the discussion in full here or join with your own views.

Thanks for another week full of insights!

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