Spill the Beans: In the end, we’re one big drama fan-mily

by HeadsNo2

To submit your story, email us your stories, and we’ll keep sharing them as long as you guys keep sending them in.

 
tesshan has a story to share about how So Ji-sub brought her into the magical world of K-drama (nobody tell her about his rap videos):

My journey to K-drama land and Dramabeans started from Taiwan, then Japan, and then finally Korea. Not literally, but via the drama world.

I first started out on my drama adventure after I finished reading Mars (manga). When I found out online that there was a live action version, or a drama, I had to find it and watch it! So I ended up discovering Taiwanese dramas. From there, the jump to J-dramas was quite easy, since so many mangas have been turned into drama versions. Those were the days when Kimura Takuya was the king of J-dramas. So, ehm, yes, my journey started ages ago.

I had seen some K-dramas from afar… they seemed to be overly tragic (literally every story was dealing with a terminal illness or some blood feud). I was not sure if I wanted to spend my evenings and weekends crying my eyes out. But then I decided I had to try, and so I watched I’m Sorry, I Love You. I discovered the existence of So Ji-sub and I cried so much, it was crazy. But this drama made me realize the difference in quality of K-dramas. So different from Western TV series, and also from Taiwanese and Japanese dramas (at least back then).

So I embarked on my new life with Full House, Goong, Coffee Prince, and all those exceptionally well-done dramas. Shortly after this I ended up in Australia for a year, and fully enjoyed all the Korean shops Sydney had to offer — and most importantly, the shops that sold the dvd box sets of all my favorite dramas. Years later, I still enjoy watching K-dramas. I have some very basic knowledge of Korean and I ended up working in a company where I met two other K-drama groupies. Dramabeans is my daily read and I even started commenting on the episode recaps. Thank you, So Ji-sub!

 
Kita has a great story to share, and some great words of wisdom, too. I wish we could translate this letter and send it to Joo-won.

I’m a relative newcomer to Korean dramas, having only seriously started watching them in the summer of 2015. Since then, I have built up quite a long list of favorite dramas, actors, actresses, singers, etc. I have also developed a passionate interest in learning all I could about Korea and its culture, as well as rediscovering a long-lost Asian Canadian pride (I’m Chinese, but still).

However, of all the stories I could tell, I choose this one, because it is about a celeb who’s got a particularly special place in my heart: Joo-won.

If I had to summarize my story, I would put it this way: “Sometimes, you don’t know what you want until you see it. And sometimes, what matters isn’t whether you can obtain it, but simply that it exists.”

Hallyu was a presence in my life long before I got into it myself. As far back as 2009 or 2010, I already had friends who watched Korean dramas. Then, when my own family started watching them after the release of You From Another Star in 2014, they were really excited for Korean dramas. They had lost interest in the Hong Kong dramas they’d watched up to this point. They particularly liked the Confucian values they saw in the shows, convinced that it would be character-building for me to watch them as well.

But for a while, I still held back. A couple of reasons for that: One was that I was simply too busy. But more importantly, I was resistant to anything that seemed too much of a fad to me. The more popular something was, the more convinced I was that it would be overrated.

Eventually, my schedule cleared up enough and my curiosity had grown enough that I started watching the dramas myself. My mother would recommend particular favorites to me, which we would then watch (or, in her case, re-watch) in Cantonese dub. The first few months of drama-watching went by like that (just a reminder that this was 2015), and I was starting to see what all the fuss was about. No, it wasn’t about hot actors or romantic/funny stories. Instead, we would watch and then discuss the characters, plots, and themes, analyzing the most recent episode like it was a piece of fine literature. Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had in my life came from this shared interest.

But it wasn’t until January 2016 that I started paying attention to the actors behind the characters on the screen. At the time, the show I was watching was Baker King Kim Tak-gu, and that was the first drama where I was really struck by the cast as a whole; it was the first time I wanted to find out more about the actors as people.

My search led me to KBS’s 2010 Chuseok special where several of the Baker King actors were interviewed. It was hilarious; the cast camaraderie was just what I had imagined it to be. But it was a single throwaway comment that really caught my eye. At one point, Joo-won (who played one of my favorite characters, Gu Ma-jun) was asked by the hosts what he thought set him apart from Kang Dong-won and TOP, in reference to their physical resemblance. And his reply was, “I’m more innocent.”

That made me sit up and notice. All my life, I could never have imagined I’d see a twenty-something-year-old actor – a peer (we’re actually just a few months apart in age) – call himself “innocent” and be proud of it.

And I liked that about him. I liked it so much that I started looking up more about him online, reading a ton of translated interviews that first day. In one of them, Joo-won addressed his relationship with his parents – I don’t remember the exact words, but in essence, he spoke of how close he was with them, how he still looked up to them, and how he never really went through a teenage rebellion phase.

My curiosity also took me to the second season of 1 Night 2 Days, where I completely came to love watching his aegyo-filled, innocent maknae real-life self. And then there’s the acting talent: I’ve watched and enjoyed Gaksital, Good Doctor, and even Level 7 Civil Servant. Add to that a plethora of interviews and talk/variety show appearances, and you get an idea of how extensive this search has been.

But if there’s one thing this whole set of encounters with Joo-won did for me, it was that he gave me hope and a sense of acceptance.

What do I mean?

All my life, for as long as I remember, I have liked listening to my parents, siblings (I’m maknae), and teachers. My family was – and still is – the most important thing in my life. But I had few, if any, friends, and it was because no one in my social circle ever got me. My friends were the ones who would say to me, “You know, you don’t have to listen to your parents,” or, if I was guilt-ridden after talking back to a teacher, they’d say, “It’s okay; you were just expressing your opinion.” In hindsight, I think they were trying to encourage me – but it always felt like misplaced pity at best, and condescension at worst. They were trying to help me, but they didn’t get me.

By the time I had started watching K-dramas, I had given up on ever finding someone who understood my own deep sense of filial piety. Someone who would not think me weird for preferring my parents’ company to anyone else’s; someone who never felt that urge to push against the boundaries their parents had set, someone who thought wholeheartedly that their parents’ tough love was just that: love.

And now, out of the blue, here was someone who just might be like that. Granted, he was also someone on the other side of the world who will most likely never know I exist, nor know the amount of hope and reassurance he’s given me.

But that’s okay. I’m cool with that. Because, as I’d said at the beginning, what matters most to me – and what helps me take pride in who I am – is simply that he exists.

 
That’s the one big downside to K-dramas: heightened expectations. Thanks for being part of our fan-mily, Charleen!

Hi Dramabeans,

Just want to give a big thank you! Whenever I read your recaps and the comments section, I always feel like I have one big Korean drama fan-mily, haha!

My Korean drama addiction started in 2003, when I was 13 years old. Stairway to Heaven was the first Korean drama I ever watched, and I remembered that my mom and I cried buckets almost every episode. We cried so much and so hard that we needed to take Tylenol after all the crying because our heads were throbbing. This was a time before I learnt about watching dramas online, so my mom and I either had to buy or rent the DVDs, or wait for the Korean drama to be available on Singapore’s local TV channels.

The next Korean drama I remembered watching was My Lovely Kim Sam-soon. Being a girl who was overweight, it really helped me to believe that one day a man would love me for who I am, and not how I look or how much I weigh. I even did a project about the show and how bold Kim Sun-ah was when she had to put on weight to be in the show.

Since then, I have watched over fifty to sixty Korean dramas, and the list still goes on. Haha, I even have a list of all the Korean dramas I’ve watched and the ratings I give each drama because my friends are constantly asking me for good Korean drama recommendations.

Korean dramas have gotten me through stressful times and tough times. It also made my expectation for men go up too! Hahah, I’m still waiting for my oppa!

I don’t know if others feel this way, but whenever a Korean drama comes to an end, I always feel fulfilled and satisfied, yet also a little sad, because I will never get to watch it for the first time again! After sixteen to eighteen episodes with all the characters, they kind of feel like a close friend who you’ve seen grow so much, and then it is time to say goodbye to them. And it’s especially sad because I’ve grown so attached to the characters, especially the oppas in the show!

Once I told my mom, “Oh no, now that that show is over, I have to look for another one to watch! It’s so hard to find a good Korean drama to watch!” To which my mom replied, “Who are you kidding? You watch every new Korean drama that comes out, and the male lead eventually becomes your new oppa!” Hahaha. I like to tell my parents that other people are out there partying, taking drugs, and drinking, but they should be happy that all I do with my free time is to watch Korean drama at home!

Oh well, guess I’ll never get over my Korean drama addiction, but I’m so glad to have this Korean drama fan-mily in Dramabeans who understand me!

 
It’s always touching to hear how dramas have changed people’s lives for the better. We’re glad you’re safe and happy, McCookie, but no one here will tell you to ease up on that drama addiction.

I was in an abusive relationship. It was nightmarish, and then, one day it was over. (There was a long, involved process involving intercessors before he left me alone, and an even longer process working out of the lies in my head.) So, after I was able to establish no-contact orders, I took a semester off grad school and worked only part-time. With the rest of my time, I lay in bed watching Netflix, just recovering from the past year of trauma. Not much on Netflix was bearable to watch, though… it was all too agitating. I reluctantly tried watching a K-drama, Scent of a Woman.

It. Was. So. Good. And cathartic. I sobbed, relating with the main character. She was alone, neglected, wounded, and the threat of death was what gave her permission to change her life. I went through the journey with her. I didn’t have cancer, but I had stopped living. I loved how the story was meaningful and the characters had to be courageous to overcome their own personal prisons. I also found myself having sympathy for the antagonists… American TV/Movies are more two-dimensional. They basically tell you who to like and who is cool. I think they just want to entertain, while K-dramas take you into the characters’ inner minds/hearts, and you end up falling in love with the characters and thinking critically about them (something I had lost the ability to do because of the emotional abuse).

I was hooked after that. I think, as I’ve watched these programs, that I’ve learned to appreciate my own inner life. These dramas depict flawed people who are still likable. They also venerate kindness, while our culture loves sarcasm and winning. When I look at myself, I see all the flaws, but now I see the good things, too. It’s not that I never saw them before, they just weigh more now. I dunno. I guess most people don’t start watching as emotionally retarded adults, but after the trauma, I didn’t know what was real in my emotions anymore. I needed the help sorting some of it out.

Now, I’m pretty healthy, except for the K-drama addiction. I could probably use less of that.

 
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