104

This Week, My Wife Will Have an Affair: Episode 5

Is it harder to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness? With his perfect world turned upside down, Hyun-woo struggles to deal with the aftermath of discovering his wife’s affair. But for as difficult a time as he’s having, there’s someone else who might be hurting more. Hyun-woo may find it difficult to forgive, but he’ll have to be careful not to hurt others in his quest to avenge his own pain.

 

 
EPISODE 5 RECAP

We rewind to the start of the day, and Soo-yeon is at her in-law’s house, making breakfast and getting Joon-soo ready for school. As she helps her son get dressed, she thinks back to when Hyun-woo had confronted her and Sun-woo in the hotel room. After Hyun-woo left, Sun-woo had received a phone call and departed as well, leaving Soo-yeon alone in the room.

In the present, little Joon-soo brings his mother back to reality when he gets his head stuck in his turtle neck. He asks Soo-yeon if he can go to an art class that one of his friends attends, and she promises to sign him up for it, earning a big smile from her son.

Picking up where we left off last week, Hyun-woo charges into the office where his wife’s lover works. Directed to a conference room, he stands nervously when Sun-woo arrives.

Hyun-woo starts to demand answers from the other man, but he’s interrupted when the lights suddenly cut off, and in trots a long line of employees with party hats and a cake. Heh, apparently it’s Sun-woo’s birthday, and Hyun-woo finds himself surrounded by a crowd of workers all singing to their boss.

Sun-woo uneasily blows out his candles and smiles, while Hyun-woo is relegated to the side of the well-wishers. Stunned and with no other option, Hyun-woo joins in the clapping. To make it even more ridiculous, Hyun-woo is pushed to the front for the most awkward birthday photo ever. (Say “kimchi!”)

Later, Hyun-woo relates the events to Yoon-ki and Joon-young, and both are gobsmacked to hear that he not only stood aside as his wife’s lover had a birthday party, but that he actually took a picture with the man.

Yoon-ki and Joon-young call Hyun-woo crazy, and instruct him to confront Sun-woo again with a fist to the face. Joon-young illustrates the advice with a punch, only for Yoon-ki to correct his form, demonstrating with a punch of his own. Soon, the two are in a full-on pantomime fight, and Hyun-woo, shaking his head at their antics, walks away. Neither notice.

At her work, Soo-yeon tries to get Joon-soo signed up for the art classes he requested. She has to nearly beg one of the other mothers, especially when the woman says that she’d be more inclined to help if Soo-yeon took the time to hang out with the other mothers more often.

Soon after, Soo-yeon receives some more bad news: She’s being taken off a big project that she’s been leading at the request of the client. Oh, it looks like the client is none other than Sun-woo’s company, and he’s the one who requested she be taken off the project.

To make matters worse, during the meeting with her boss, Soo-yeon misses a call from one of the mothers she was trying to contact. Afterward, she stares at the missed call, clearly overwhelmed with everything.

Hyun-woo’s team has found a new couple to interview, and everyone watches a filmed interview with the cuckolded husband. Bo-young suggests opening their program with interviews of the wives who were unfaithful.

When Hyun-woo points out it’d be difficult to find one of those women — let alone to get them to agree to being interviewed — one of the staff members says that there are a number of “infidelity matching apps” that have become available for cheating spouses looking for other adulterers to meet with.

They decide to sign up one of the men to the app service so that they can arrange a meeting with one of the women looking for an affair. When they wonder which of the men looks the most like someone who would use the app, everyone turns to Hyun-woo. Heh. Bo-young snaps his picture and gets to work creating Hyun-woo’s infidelity profile.

Yoon-ki’s secretary/mole ambushes him as soon as he steps out of this office, grinning as she informs him that his wife has signed up for flower arranging classes right here in the neighborhood. Yoon-ki grimaces a smile and grits out how great it will be that his wife can visit his office so easily. Retreating back to his office, he whines that he feels caged in, complaining that he has no joy anymore.

Just then, Yoon-ki sees a woman standing in the corner of his office, her back turned to him. Assuming she’s a client, he jumps up and immediately starts flirting, until he notices that not only is her skin very cold, but the woman is actually floating. He leaps back in horror as the ghost’s pretty face morphs into a grisly mask, eventually screaming himself awake at the desk where he’d dozed off.

Moaning that he hasn’t met with a woman in so long that he’s suffering withdrawal hallucinations, Yoon-ki slowly turns his head, only to realize that he’s surrounded by female ghosts. He huddles on his desk, whimpering. (That was random.)

A thoroughly disgruntled Hyun-woo gets ready for his “affair” with a woman the infidelity app matched him with. He grumbles that he’s the team leader, so why should he have to do this? Joon-young cheerfully replies that he’s too young, though he shuts up at the look his hyung sends him.

The team gives Hyun-woo special glasses with a recorder in the lenses and sends him on his way, promising that the woman they paired him with is young and pretty.

Hyun-woo heads to the café to meet his date, only to find that the woman is definitely a few years older than her profile picture. Hyun-woo nervously sits down, and the enthusiastic philandering woman eagerly sits right next to him, getting very handsy in the process.

Hyun-woo tries to subtly ask a few interview questions, but journalism ethics go out the window when the woman makes a grab for his derrière, exclaiming over how nicely toned it is. Pfft.

Hyun-woo leaps up and desperately whisper/yells into his hidden mic for his team to come to his rescue while his date coos, asking if he wants to head straight to a hotel.

Yoon-ki visits his wife at her flower arranging class, fibbing that he recently developed a pollen allergy to try and dissuade her from taking the classes. Coughing from his “allergies,” Yoon-ki makes for the exit, but he stops on a dime when the stunning instructor walks into the room.

The film crew sniggers as they watch the footage that Hyun-woo got of his “date.” Joon-young earns himself another glare when he argues that if Hyun-woo had just let that woman touch his butt, then they could have gotten more information out of her.

His part done, Hyun-woo gets up to leave, but stops to address the team. Annoyed that the husbands they’ve selected were all cowering and victimized, he tells them to make sure that it doesn’t seem like it’s always the husband’s fault. “These women aren’t cheating because of their husbands. They just like any man besides their husband. Let’s not turn the innocent husbands into sinners.” So much for objectivity.

After Hyun-woo departs, Joon-young proposes the team use the infidelity app one more time to interview someone else, offering himself as the “interviewer.” Bo-young asks if his wife won’t mind him going on a date with another woman, but Joon-young brushes it off, saying that his wife will understand because this is work.

At the flower arranging school, Yoon-ki sneaks in to find the instructor by herself. He introduces himself as Ara’s husband, and asks if he can take a class as well, claiming that he wants to make an arrangement for his wife as a birthday present. The teacher agrees, though Yoon-ki reminds her that it will have to be kept a secret.

Yoon-ki sneaks in the observation that the woman is working so late that it seems like she doesn’t have a husband waiting for her at home. She admits that she’s divorced, and Yoon-ki cheerfully announces that he’ll see her in class.

That night, the teacher heads to her car and finds a registration violation sticker on her car. Before she even has the chance to worry, Yoon-ki arrives around the corner. Being the sweet and helpful man that he is (cough cough), Yoon-ki helps remove the sticker and promises to register the car for her. The woman stares after him, already a little star-struck.

Hyun-woo returns to an empty house that night. As he wanders around the darkened (and messy) apartment, he sees visions of his wife making the bed or cooking his favorite foods, always with a smile for him. The memories fade, and Hyun-woo is left alone again.

Soo-yeon and Joon-soo are still staying with Hyun-woo’s mother. Joon-soo asks his mom about the art classes, and Soo-yeon says she’s trying to enroll him. The observant boy assures her that if it’s too hard, then he doesn’t have to go. He says that Dad told him not to give his mom a hard time, and that it was their job to protect her. His words bring tears to Soo-yeon’s eyes.

Unable to sleep, Hyun-woo searches for a movie to watch, but instead finds a small gift box. He stares at the leather wallet inside and remembers the birthday party that he unintentionally attended for Sun-woo. Coming to the conclusion that his wife must have bought the gift as a birthday present for her lover, Hyun-woo throws the wallet and screams in frustration.

At the office, the team wires Joon-young in preparation for his meeting with a new cheating wife. Bo-young puts the video glasses on for him, and Joon-young leans down right in her face and jokes, “I’m a good-looking man up close, right?” Bo-young agrees, saying that he looks just like one of the guys these adulterous women meet. Well, he was asking for that.

Yoon-ki has yet another planned/serendipitous meeting with the flower arrangement teacher, conveniently arriving just in time to help her with the broken lock on her door.

Newly enraged at finding his wife’s gift for her lover, Hyun-woo waits in the lobby of Sun-woo’s building, his nervous pacing drawing the attention of a security guard. Sun-woo enters the building and immediately spots Hyun-woo waiting for him. Hyun-woo angrily walks towards the other man, fist closed, but the security guard also marches forward. Scared, Hyun-woo settles for bumping against Sun-woo’s shoulder before awkwardly running out of the building.

Soo-yeon receives a text from one of the moms that they made space for Joon-soo in the art class. She happily texts back her thanks to the group thread, but immediately the other women send messages hinting that it’s so hard to pick up their kids every day. Sufficiently guilt-tripped, Soo-yeon reluctantly volunteers to pick up the other children.

Yoon-ki has his first flower arranging class, and the teacher looks completely smitten as Yoon-ki gushes about how his wife means everything to him. His plan plays out beautifully as the teacher asks him, “Do you know what kind of men women are most attracted to? It’s men they want to steal.”

Still playing the faithful husband, Yoon-ki turn away, but silently counts to three and smiles as the teacher pulls him around towards her. The two kiss, and Yoon-ki can add yet another notch to his player’s belt.

Joon-young attends his own interview/date, but sits frozen with nerves and staring at the pretty woman he’s meeting. Bo-young snaps into his earpiece to question the woman and not fall for her, so Joon-young shakes off his shock. The clandestine interview goes well until the woman notes that this must be Joon-young’s first time given all the questions.

When she asks about his own situation, Joon-young freezes again, and Bo-young urges him to make something up. Slowly, Joon-young tells the woman that his wife ran away three days after their honeymoon. The rest of the team moans that the story is too fantastical to believe, but Bo-young seems to wonder if it’s the truth.

Yoon-ki is busy reminiscing about his new conquest when Ara visits his office. She notes the rose smell, and Yoon-ki anxiously hides his lips, which she notices. Ara immediately heads to the arranging class and signs up for additional classes. But when the teacher steps outside, she grins to see Yoon-ki by the door. The two start going at it, just feet away from Ara.

Soo-yeon meets with Sun-woo at his office, both looking miserable and guilty. Soo-yeon gently says that it would have been better if he’d warned her before taking her off the project, but Sun-woo answers that he thought it best if they avoided contact with each other.

Sun-woo tells Soo-yeon that Hyun-woo came to see him, which shocks her. He smiles slightly as he says that Soo-yeon’s husband seems like a good man. He apologizes again for taking her off the project, regretful that things turned out this way.

Hyun-woo thinks about his second failed attempt to confront Sun-woo, sighing heavily as he fails to notice the sideways glances from Bo-young and Joon-young. The two return to watching the footage of Joon-young’s “date,” and Joon-young gloats over how well he did until Bo-young says the story of the runaway wife was too far-fetched.

Looking uncomfortable, Joon-young asks if it couldn’t happen then, to which Bo-young responds that for the wife to run away after three days of marriage, he’d have to have been an idiot, or too in love to see the signs. Ouch.

They’re interrupted when Hyun-woo randomly yells at the ceiling and storms out. Watching his departure, Bo-young guesses that his wife is having an affair. Joon-young chokes and tries to deny it, but Bo-young can tell he’s lying. He asks her to keep it to herself, since Hyun-woo would be uncomfortable if she knew.

Hyun-woo calls Soo-yeon and tells her that he confronted Sun-woo today. When she says she heard, he assumes she’s still meeting with the man. She tries to tell him that she broke it off and asks if they can’t fix the problems between them, but Hyun-woo snaps that she’s the one who cheated, so how can she act like she did nothing wrong? He rages that it isn’t fair that his whole world was turned upside down while both Soo-yeon and Sun-woo can walk around like nothing happened.

Hyun-woo hangs up angrily and then sees that Sun-woo confirmed his facebook friend request. (Why on earth would you confirm your lover’s husband’s friend request?) He starts looking through the man’s pictures and sees all the family shots he posted of his wife and children. Hyun-woo scoffs that a man who loves his family so much would cheat.

Hyun-woo stalks Sun-woo’s house and watches as he arrives home, his loving wife greeting him at the gate. Unable to take it anymore, Hyun-woo calls Sun-woo out to meet him in a nearby park. Finally confronting him alone, Hyun-woo demands to know if the affair really started six months ago. Sun-woo gloomily confirms it. Hyun-woo asks how far they went, and Sun-woo answers that they only slept together once, earning a punch from Hyun-woo.

Sun-woo apologizes again and again, but his calm demeanor angers Hyun-woo further. He yells at the unfairness that though Sun-woo and Soo-yeon are the ones at fault, he’s the only one getting hurt. Sun-woo tries to say that this was all his fault and that Soo-yeon had nothing to do with it, but his familiar use of Hyun-woo’s wife’s name earns him another punch, knocking him to the ground.

Hyun-woo thrusts his phone in Sun-woo’s face. He tells him to call his wife and tell her the truth, or Hyun-woo threatens to run to his house where Sun-woo’s children are sleeping and reveal everything himself.

With no other option, Sun-woo reluctantly calls his wife. As soon as she answers, Hyun-woo grabs the phone and nearly shouts at her, “Your husband is having an affair with my wife. I’ll let you hear the rest from him.” He shoves the phone back at Sun-woo, and the man sadly confirms that it’s true, apologizing to her.

Hyun-woo grabs his phone back and walks away. As he leaves, we hear his new post on the forum: “Everyone, I’ve finally gotten my revenge. I beat up the guy who cheated and let his wife know everything.” All the users immediately comment that he did a good job and cheer him on.

Hyun-woo’s number one fans, Grandma and Ajumma, are sitting outside the closed post office (where they’ve been using the computer). Grandma calls out to a passing young man, beckoning him closer.

They ask to borrow his phone and immediately look up Hyun-woo’s new post, and both are happy to see that he took his revenge. The young man snatches his phone back, and as he hustles off, Ajumma wonders if they should get one of those smartphones so they don’t have to keep traveling to the post office to use the internet.

Hyun-woo trudges home and collapses on his couch, only to find one of his son’s toys shoved between the cushions. He calls Joon-soo, smiling when his son affirms that he misses him, though he doesn’t answer when Joon-soo asks if he misses mom.

The next day, Yoon-ki cleverly dispatches his secretary by hinting that the handsome team member in Hyun-woo’s office is probably in the office alone. She dashes off, and Yoon-ki texts the flower teacher to come over. The teacher leaves the class to go see him, and Ara’s spidey senses lead her to follow, but she fails to catch them in the act since the clever Yoon-ki hid his new mistress under his desk.

The film team goes for a new approach this time, bringing both the husband and cheating wife in to interview together. As Joon-young directs the cameras, Bo-young and Hyun-woo watch the interview.

As husband and wife argue over whether or not the woman really did have an affair, Bo-young notes that there doesn’t seem to be a right answer. “Thinking about it, there seems to be no definite perpetrator or victim. You know, there’s a thing called willful negligence. Even knowing that their marriage will be in danger going on like this, there are many couples that don’t put in effort.” Her words reach Hyun-woo, but he doesn’t seem to agree.

In yet another strange Yoon-ki scene, his new lover showers him in flowers, literally. With a flower clenched between his teeth and smothered in kisses, the man looks like he could die happy.

Soo-yeon’s team member reports the progress on the project with Sun-woo’s company. Afterwards, Soo-yeon overhears the woman telling a coworker that it looked like Sun-woo had gotten into a fight recently.

That night, Hyun-woo walks home, Bo-young’s words echoing in his head. To his surprise, he finds Soo-yeon waiting for him. Still not ready to talk, Hyun-woo ignores his wife, until she asks if he got in a fight with Sun-woo.

Assuming once again that she’s meeting with the man, Hyun-woo mocks her, asking if she rushed to her injured lover’s side. Getting worked up, Hyun-woo reveals that he also told Sun-woo’s wife the truth about her husband, shocking Soo-yeon. She tries to say that this was their problem to solve, but Hyun-woo isn’t having it, yelling that he’s mad at everyone, including the man’s wife for not knowing the truth. So why, he asks, should he consider their feelings?

Holding back her own anger, Soo-yeon asks if he feels better now, and Hyun-woo unrepentantly yells back that he does. Hyun-woo grabs the wallet he found and tosses it at her, saying to give it to Sun-woo if she feels so bad for him, going so far as to taunt her to run away with the man.

Soo-yeon quietly says that the wallet was a present for Hyun-woo, but Hyun-woo just laughs in her face, yelling at her for her meekness. He rants, “How much more are you going to deceive me? Please, both of you stop acting like victims! I’m the one who got destroyed, and I’m the one in pain! I’m the victim, and you guys are the perpetrators!”

Nearly crying, Soo-yeon agrees that she’s the perpetrator. She says she’ll move out of the house, and promises to tell Hyun-woo’s mother the truth. Hyun-woo yells at her for wanting to reveal everything to his mom, who’s had such a hard life, clearly seeing her promise as a threat.

He paces back into the living room, thinking to himself that his wife is now retaliating. His eye catches on the wallet as he thinks, “This week, my wife is fighting back.” Taking a closer look at the wallet, he sees initials printed on it: DHW. Looks like Soo-yeon bought the wallet for Hyun-woo after all.

 
COMMENTS

I’m so glad we got to see Soo-yeon’s perspective this week, because it really painted the affair and its aftermath in a new light. I’m not saying that she was right to cheat, but I can finally understand how it could have happened. I admit that when we saw everything from purely Hyun-woo’s point of view, I was having a hard time being sympathetic to Soo-yeon. I hadn’t realized how thin she was spreading herself, or how overworked she was between her husband, son, and job. Hyun-woo had called her the perfect wife that made his own life so easy, but he’d never considered how much she’d sacrificed of her own life to be perfect for him.

Though, to be fair, while Hyun-woo never asked, it doesn’t look like Soo-yeon ever tried to share her burden. Clearly, Hyun-woo can be overbearing when it comes to his own opinion, but if Soo-yeon doesn’t feel comfortable confiding to her own husband, then there’s something deeply wrong with their relationship. Soo-yeon silently took all the work onto her own shoulders, hiding her growing stress with a smile. It makes sense then that she would be tempted by someone who gave her the attention, affection, and sympathy that she probably didn’t even know she was craving. Again, I’m not saying that she did the right thing, but I can understand.

I don’t mind saying that I was disappointed in Hyun-woo during this episode. I know that his whole world has been flipped around, and I get that he’s in pain and doesn’t know how to deal with it, but he really acted like a big child, only concerned with what he saw as “fair,” and trying to make everyone else hurt like he was hurting. We can see it when he told his staff that these cheating wives had affairs simply because they wanted to, and that their husbands were victimized innocents. Then again in the last scene when Hyun-woo yelled at his wife that she was the perpetrator and thus didn’t deserve to act like a victim. He’s taking such an infantile view of the world, always yelling that he’s right and refusing to see things from another’s perspective.

I can’t say if Hyun-woo’s actions were wrong or right – I’m not sure anyone can – but I found myself shaking my head when he called Sun-woo’s wife to reveal the truth about her husband. Telling the wife may have been the right thing to do, but he did it out of anger. He hurt her because he wanted someone other than himself to be in pain, not because he felt she deserved to know. He was lashing out, and this poor woman had to learn of her husband’s infidelity while she was right next to her sleeping children. Hyun-woo was so busy blaming everyone else and asserting himself as the victim, that he didn’t realize he was becoming the aggressor.

Not only was Hyun-woo blind to his wife’s stress, but apparently he’s missed that his best friend’s wife ran away. Shouldn’t he find it suspicious that he never met with Joon-young’s wife once during the years they were married? Granted, we haven’t gotten the confirmation that Joon-young’s wife really did split after their honeymoon, but given his pained and honest expression, I don’t think it’s too big a leap to conclude that he was telling the truth. I’m both relieved and saddened to find out that Joon-young isn’t truly married, because while it no longer makes him sleazy for being interested in Bo-young, having your wife run out on you less than a week after your marriage isn’t a fate I’d wish on anyone. Hopefully Hyun-woo can put a halt on his personal pity party long enough to see that his friend is hurting too.

The late introduction of Soo-yeon’s perspective was a rather brilliant stroke on the show’s part. We’ve been so busy putting Hyun-woo in the victim’s seat and making Soo-yeon the aggressor, and now it’s apparent that there isn’t a clear cut victim or perpetrator. No black and white, or right and wrong. We’re all just human, doing the best we can with our own flaws. At this point, Hyun-woo has to open his eyes to his own flaws and see the pain he’s causing others on his search to forgive before he does something he’ll need forgiveness for.

RELATED POSTS

Tags: , , , , , ,

104

Required fields are marked *

Just dropping by to say that I love Joon-young! Lee Sang-yeob is doing such a good job here that I totally buy his character. I also wonder if he himself realised that he has a crush on Bo-young, because it seems like he's still in denial. It's obvious to us that he likes her more than a co-worker, what with the extra attention he pays to her, his tendency to tease her and the occasional jealousy (especially during her blind date). I hope this ship will sail because they're so cute together.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Also, I am glad that they're slowly showing us the other side of the coin of Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon's marriage. I look forward to seeing more revelations. Yoon-ki is a waste of space on this surface of the earth and has zero redeeming quality. Ara deserves better and she should kick him to the curb sooner than later.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I was eagerly waiting for the Recap. I love this show. Thank you CandidClown for the recap.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thanks for the recap! I agree that Hyunwoo's actions were childish in this episode but as someone who has been cheated on before you definitely lose your mind for a bit until you snap out of it and realize the damage you've done. I'm excited to see things from Sooyeon perspective.

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I totally agree. You cant help it. He's incredibly broken. His wife didnt even try to say sorry or hold on to him when he first confronted her. To think they've been together for years, 14 years i think. I could truly understand his pain. I'll be surprised if he just let it go. He'll eventually snap out of it.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Totally agree with you! I'd probably be MUCH more childish if I were in his position, to all be honest.

Thank you for your recap! Also, I like that this drama dares to go to ALL the dark and uncomfortable places yet injects light heartedness into the issue, cause otherwise I'd be depressed all over. What's with the world issue and kdrama world, I need my lightheartedness where I can get 'em!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

The show is doing a good job at peeling back their layers each episode, I keep coming back because I want to know more of Sooyeon's story and we're getting there bit by bit.
I'm fine with Hyunwoo being angry and mad at everything that has unfolded but at the same time I'm getting fed up with his antics, I just wonder what it'll be that will finally make him snap out of it and start looking at his marriage from a non-objective view.

Somebody explain to me in detail why we have to see Yoon-ki get it on ?. Enough already with his philandering ways and playing Ah Ra for a fool, I swear his scenes are becoming more and more unnecessary.

0
3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Well,how about this:maybe hyunwoo is still acting childish because his wife haven't apologize?

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

Hyunwoo can be angry all he wants but don't put Joon-soo's needs on the back-burner just because of his own feelings nor do I believe it justifies him telling the other guys wife about the affair due to spite as opposed to genuine concern that she should know the truth.
As for the apology, we're all waiting for that sincere conversation between the two but until that time where Hyunwoo isn't running on just emotions and everything ends with either one cutting the other off or yelling, we won't be seeing it.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

I think it's good that he told the guy's wife about him cheating. She deserved to know the truth!!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I like how realistic everything was so far. I can never condone cheating, but as viewers we get to see the flaws and how everyone got to where they are. I agree that Soo-Yeon should have spoken of her burdens more, but maybe there's a cultural aspect of it that I'm missing. He can't understand her perspective because maybe as a man he's been brought up differently.

That aside, she should have really tried to talk to him about their marriage earlier on. I don't get either what she expects from a 6 month affair (enjoy it indefinitely or...yeah, break up with the husband eventually).

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

hello,come on, dont try to defend soyeon, she is clearly in the wrong here... she is THE CHEATER for fuck sake........ i support hyunwoo action for informing the wife of the other guy..it was the right way....

0
19
reply

Required fields are marked *

You know I always felt that cheating was one of the worst things someone could do but I think sometimes people go a little overboard. I'm not saying what she did was right but it's not like she murdered someone she doesn't need to be burned at the stake like a witch.

And that is something this show is trying to show that things aren't so black and white. Did Hyun Woo deserve to be cheated on? No.

Does Soo Yeon deserve to be yelled at and ridiculed? Maybe a little but not for weeks on end.

As for informing the wife there were millions of other ways he could have done it. I agree the wife should know that her Husband was cheating but I disagree that the way she learned was the "right way".

0
5
reply

Required fields are marked *

She murdered her family. That's what adultery does. She had many ways to address issues that didn't involve bringing another man into the bed. Now she's upset because the guy's wife also knows? She was fine when everyone was in the dark. Her conscience seems compromised.

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

Murdering her family sounds extreme. I'd say if anyone murdered her family it was that lady from the previous episodes who didn't feel guilty at all and even admitted to hating her kid cause she reminded her or her husband. Now that was cold hearted.

Anyway it just seems messed up that lots of people are saying Sooyeon is the worst person ever but with the Lawyer guy it's supposed to be comedic. He may not have kids but its disgusting.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

THANK YOU! Omg finally someone who I can totes agree with. The wife is getting on my nerves cos it's her fault for everything that Hyun woo is doing. ARGHH??

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Hmm interesting you say that it's not like she murdered someone but what if she did contract AIDS from sleeping around and then gave it to her unsuspecting husband so would it then make it really horrible? The truth is that when you cheat on your spouse you are exposing yourself and your spouse to deadly STD's which makes it no different then attempted murder in my book. Also thank you for the response below since adultery is the murder of relationships and the family. How any parent can choose their sexual desires over the mental health and welfare of their child is beyond me.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Exactly! She did try to murder her family through her infidelity. Just because she wasn't getting enough sex from Hyun woo she went and bedded another man. How disgusting! She is as horrible as the fleebag lawyer. ???

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Telling the guy's wife was vindictive, especially the way he did it - grabbing her husband's phone and screaming into it. Hyun Woo wasn't doing it for her sake, he was doing it because he was hurting and he wanted Sun Woo to be in as much pain as possible. The wife was only a tool to hurt Sun Woo with.

He did something with evil intent and selfish motivations. That is never the "right way".

0
3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Sunwoo should have told his wife right away when they've been found out by the husband.nothing remains a secret.
They should of thought that one day someone will know what they're doing and will tell their spouses.

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I agree Sun Woo should tell his wife - I just think Hyun Woo was completely out of line and hurt a completely blameless person by doing what he did in the way he did it.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

I beg to differ. The wife deserved to know and its better she got to know sooner than later. You can't say she wouldn't have been any less hurt if her husband told her what hyun woo told her. You make no sense. ??

0

So coming from the other side. I am a woman who had an affair a year ago. I, like Soon Yeon, had no intention of ruining my family or leaving my husband for the other man. When my husband found out though, I always knew how wrong I was, and apologized with utter remorse. My husband did not respond with grace and concern for what he may have done to cause me to have an affair as that is just ridiculous. He was hurt and I knowingly caused that. He was angry and I deserved it. I could have tried to fix my marriage before the affair, but I chose not to.
Hyun woo reacted with such realism.
In the end we are still married, because what scared him most was losing me and the effect it might have on our child. I see that in Hyun woo too and he might respond differently if Soon Yeon made any attempt to show remorse and a desire to rebuild.

0
3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thanks for your story, Joanne. I'm with you on this one. I had a philandering husband who hurt me terribly but I loved him so much that I stayed with him. I eventually fell in love with a kind friend but my husband couldn't forgive that at all. There was a definite double standard at play. We stayed married for 15 years. My daughter was 12 at the time and urged me to leave her dad. Everything worked out in time and there's love all around now.
A note to all: believe it or not, affairs DO NOT have to end a marriage. Sometimes truth helps a relationship grow, heal and become stronger than ever before. You actually will never know how you truly feel until you separate and take some time apart. That action tends to bring people back together or complete the break-up.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I think apology is the first step of healing.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Exactly! His wife didnt even bother apologising and really regretting her affair. Its disgusting. I despise HW's wife so much. Her character is pathetic imo.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Question is about Hyun Woo's intentions. Wife deserved to know about it. But Hyun Woo was clearly malicious at that time.

He was mildly like "my family is burned and yours doing fine?" Let's make it a fair trade

Why Hyun Woo never told Ae Ra anything about Yoon Ki disgusuting acts?

Funny thing is Adultery different vibes in 'On the way to the Airport' and 'here.'

Seo Yoon is clearly at fault. And show is trying force the audience to sympathise with her.

0
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

I have not watched On the Way to the Airport and not planning to. I have heard that it is shot beautifully and the whole story is beautifully told. But no one has done a direct comparison between the two. Could you perhaps elaborate on the different vibes between these two shows? Very interested to see how each approaches the difficult subject. And do you like one way over the other?

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I also haven't watch OTWTTA. Just short youtube videos - Recap threads discussion and numerous comments on various streaming sites. Here Seo Yeon has enraged most of the viewers but in OTWTTA audiences response is more neutral. Most easily noticeable is the way Characters perspective is shown and the way spouses are presented.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

OTWTTA is told from the POV of the cheaters, basically. I love the show and think it did a fantastic job of showing how unintentional an affair can be, especially when it's framed as finding someone who just wholly understands you at your most essential rather than someone you lust after.

In the case of OTWTTA the protagonists are very aware and careful - not careful "not to get caught", but careful with each other and being considerate. We view each of them in their lives and realize what's missing and why this connection is so unbreakable.

That actually struck me when his wife spoke about Sun Woo - she's not completely drawing a line. It's possible that she has also reached a point where her internal compass has changed so completely that she will divorce Hyun Woo no matter what, because she knows he's wrong for her altogether. And there's every chance she's tried to salvage things with him and he steamrolled her. She would have had to mention divorce to actually get him to listen.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Yeah the show is trying to make people have sympathy with her. I bet its created by someone who cheated on her husband. I hate seo yoo or whatever her name is. Her character is the worst! I hope hyun woo never forgives her and leaves her.??

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I don't usually comment or feel compelled to comment but this drama seems to bring me to want to share my thoughts about it, and the discussion on my usual drama-watching site further fueled this. The first few episodes of TWMWWHAA were hilarious and completely sucked me in, but the the recent episodes and this episode in particular has made me rather uncomfortable.

Before I start, let me just say I do not condone cheating. Ever. That being said, while I feel very deeply for Hyun-woo for being cheated on, I have to say that some of his actions - the one where he exposed the affair to Sun-woo's wife and the way he did it - made me very uncomfortable. Hyun-woo is the victim of Soo-yeon's affair. That is undeniable. But his actions of revealing the truth to the wife and the way he did it - his actions don't exactly give him much of a moral high ground to stand upon as well. Just because he is feeling angry and hurt and the victim in this narrative does not give him the license to 'repay' the hurt to Sun-woo's wife as well (he claims she should know you can argue that Sun-woo's wife should know, yes, but not from him.). That scene made me very uncomfortable because the previous episodes have shown that there were cracks in the relationship and a reason for Soo-yeon's actions (again, not excusable) but Hyun-woo's always kept his moral high ground and 'victim' label.

But this episode has overturned that by showing us what lies behind Soo-yeon's constantly smiling facade, and also shown us that Hyun-woo really is too emotionally-charged at this point of time (which is understandable) and too consumed by his idea of 'fairness' that he can resort to hurting an innocent party just to inflict his version of justice (which honestly, while understandable, is very difficult for me to side with).

The slow revealing of Soo-yeon's thoughts has been very interesting to watch. It was and is so easy to blame her for everything that has happen thus far but I really like that as the episodes progress, another layer is removed from Soo-yeon's motivations and thoughts, and we get to peek into her perfect life as wife, mother and worker only to find that it isn't so picture perfect at all. I do hope that we'll get to see even more of this in upcoming episodes. From what I've seen so far, it's beginning to become clearer why she would give in to the temptation of having an affair, especially since her relationship with Hyun-woo seems to have stalled.

The both of them really need to communicate more, and it's definitely a failure on both their parts that led to this breakdown. While I do think Soo-yeon is ultimately at fault for the affair, Hyun-woo needs to calm down and have a long talk with his wife about the relationship before deciding whether it's worth salvaging rather than continue with his tantrum before his rage-fueled, thoughtless actions lead to something worse.

0
10
reply

Required fields are marked *

How many of us would be able to keep calm in a situation like this. Very few of us. It was an affair for whole of 6 months. Try imagining how you'd feel if you were in his shoes and see if you'd be rational, calm and all. If you can, that's good but really few of us can do that.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

I am totally rooting for Hyun woo. I sympathise with him and i think his actions are what anyone would do if they were in his shoes. He did nothing wrong by telling the bastards wife her husband cheated on her.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I agree with you greyy. The part when Hyun Woo told Sunwoo's wife about the affair is uncomfortable to watch. I am baffled by how people think it is ok or understandable just because he is hurt by his wife. Yes, he is a victim but that doesn't mean we have to accept all his actions do we? Being hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt others. Furthermore, he didn't do it out of concern for Sunwoo's wife. He did it with the intention of hurting Sunwoo and the wife. In the last part during the conversation with Soo Yeon, you can tell that he even blamed Sunwoo's wife for the affair, for not keep a close watch on her husband.

I also notice the hypocrisy in Hyun Woo's action towards extramarital affair. When the husband were the ones who got cheated, he got upset and see them as absolute victims, not wanting to find out if the husbands play a part in the failed marriage. When the wife got cheated, it became their fault for not keeping a close watch on their husband. If he really feels so strongly about affair, why didn't he inform Ara about Yoon Ki? Not only that, he even helped Yoon Ki to cover up.

0
7
reply

Required fields are marked *

I can agree with your points that the revealing of the extramarital affair was uncomfortable. That he didn't reveal the affair to Sun Woo's wife because he cared about their relationship, he did it because he wanted them to hurt as much as he does. And that Hyun Woo is a hypocrite for covering up his friend's affairs but wanting justification for his own situation.

However, I don't see the justification as to why it's acceptable for Soo Yeon to fall into temptation just because her marriage has stalled. If you can see as to why she had the affair then why not see why he's throwing tantrums and making thoughtless actions?

Soo Yeon has already made things worse. She didn't reach out to her husband to explain why she had the affair. She doesn't have to wait for him to calm down or talk about it face to face. An email, voicemail, even a text would suffice. Apologize through those means. Don't stay quiet. Why should Hyun Woo have to be the rational one to sit her down and talk about it when she hasn't even reached out to apologize? She's staying at her in-laws and the next time she sees her husband is when she hears that he fought with her ex-lover. To me, that is childish. If you've done wrong, you admit it, apologize and face the consequences. You don't hide and wait for things to blow over.

I won't try to justify Ara's affairs. But if one can feel sympathy for Soo Yeon in being in a broken marriage then why couldn't you feel sympathy for Ara's affairs? Clearly, something is wrong in his marriage too. We just haven't seen his side of the story, and may never will. The way that Ara has his affairs are disgusting but you can't forget that Soo Yeon met up with her lover, at a hotel, in broad daylight. Maybe not necessarily 'sneaking' around but she was sly about it.

Should Hyun Woo tell his friend's wife about the affairs? Of course! That's the moral thing to do. But in reality, we cover up for our friends even when they've done wrong. And yes, it hypocrisy at its best.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

No, as you've said, there isn't any justification for Soo-yeon falling into an affair. I can understand though, why she would want to do it. Doesn't make it right at all. For Hyun-woo, I can see where he's coming from and why is thoughtlessly acting on his anger. That said, that doesn't make it right as well. I do think Sun-woo's wife needed to be told but the intent matters, and the intent behind Hyun-woo's actions were wrong.

Regarding Soo-yeon, there are no excuses that can be made for her, but the show has shown how difficult it is for her to hold a calm conversation with Hyun-woo. Maybe she should be more persistent to make herself heard, but with Hyun-woo's behaviour right now, it'd be difficult since he's currently not concerned about listening to her and instead focused on his narrative of how things are.

It's been very insightful to read your comments about the drama. (:

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Maybe you are a saint, but when I was deeply hurt by a friend, I was very angry and wanted them to hurt badly as well. I didn't act on those feelings, but Hyun Woo's pain is also deeper than mine.

Hyun Woo actions are understandable. I also think that the other wife deserved to know. Telling the wife in that manner may not be a generous action, or even a considerate one, but it is not necessarily wrong. I think that punching the guy was more wrong than telling the guy's wife about the affair.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I have to disagree on some part of your opinion. I think the show has never showed that Hyun Woo actually blame the wife when the husband is cheating, instead I actually remembered him scolding Yoon Ki for cheating on Ara. Honestly, if a friend of mine is cheating, I would never tell on her/his partner despite my objection on adultery, firstly because my loyalty lies with my friends not their partner and also, it's their personal businesses. I'd rather nag on my friend for cheating on their partner rather than telling on them.

If I am in Hyun Woo's shoes, I might have called Sun Woo's wife right away on the second I knew that Sun Woo is married. I am indeed a little disappointed on Hyun Woo for telling Sun Woo's wife in order to break Sun Woo's family as a revenge eventhough I understand the anger. What irritates me more is Soo Yeon's reaction on knowing it. It's as if she cares more about Sun Woo rather than her own husband, It actually seems like she staying away from Sun Woo just to protect him from Hyun Woo's anger. Now that Hyun Woo actually snapping and went to Sun Woo, she also won't stand him anymore.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Mte. Every person reacts in different ways.this is how
Hyun woo dealt with his feelings.if only the wife apologize.apology can really heal a broken heart.but instead,she was angry that hyunwoo revealed the affair to sunwoo's wife.if only they told the wife about the affair and then apologize.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I have to agree with another commenter below that if my friend cheats, I wouldn't tell the partner. Why? Because I am loyal to my friend. I was actually recently in such a situation, where my friend was cheating on her boyfriend. I had absolutely no intention of telling him, because that is their relationship and I am an outsider....it's just not my place. But I did encourage her to break up with him. It was what she wanted anyway....she just wanted him to do the breaking up/get her subtle hints that the relationship was over. Anyway, two weeks later, she texted me to say that she properly broke up with him and I was proud of her. To me, that is what I can do as a friend, but to tell the other partner is stepping out of line.

Hyun Woo reprimanded the lawyer about his cheating and it's obvious he doesn't think it's okay. I think as a friend of the cheater who doesn't condone cheating, you are in an awkward position and that's how Hyun Woo (and I) dealt with being in that position.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Actually, I just remembered that within those two weeks, I was a bit distant with her. I don't think I was going to break off the friendship, at least not at that point....the situation was just disturbing and shocking and I remember thinking to myself that I needed some time to think about what to do (even though it wasn't my relationship) since it goes against my principles. But maybe that's what pushed her to make the move in the end, since we both value each other's friendship.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I certainly feel for Hyun-woo here. Sometimes when you learned that the person who means the whole world to you suddenly cheated, you cant help but be illogical because the whole world just crashed on you. Its like your heart suddenly exploded by a bomb. You cant help but be angry. And when you love a person you do crazy things, same thing when if this person betrayed you. I disagree about the comment that Hyun-woo is being childish. Because in love you use your heart and not your mind. I just felt his actions felt real. Give the guy a break, he's broken. Do you expect him to be so logical about it.
Also I agree that the wife deserves to know that his husbnd cheated. I feel that when learning the truth there is no right or wrong timing. The sooner the better. Unless the person is incredibly sick and learning the truth might risk his life, the sooner the better.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

This show so far imo is wonderful. Yes, it has its flaws *looking at you Yoon ki. But I think as relationships go the one Hyunwoo and Sooyeon has is not totally unrealistic.they both seem like good people who over the course time got too caught up in their own lives and work that they lost touch with each other. I think if they could find their way back they could have a happy marriage again. Hyunwoo is a good guy from what we have seen but he obviously knows very little about his wife and what goes on in her life. He simply took her for granted and no, that is not an excuse to cheat but after a long time being constantly pushed aside and not made to be a priority could cause someone to latch on to attention from another source. I also understand Hyunwoo is hurting and he's in pain but he really needs to think about how he is reacting to this information. If he wants to reconcile constantly lashing out at her is not the right way to act. I also think he keeps lashing out at her because everytime she talks to him the first thing she asks is about Sunwoo. Unintentionally she is making it seem like he's her concern. They both are at fault for causing a misunderstanding. She obviously wants to keep her marriage but he's in no place emotionally to try and fix it.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Yoon-ki is so extreme that he provides comic relief from the heartbreak of main couple's marital debacle.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I still can't agree to infidelity. Not on the level of Soo Yeon. Yes, there are times when we might be at the verge of breaking the vows we make to our better halves but that is the true test of loyalty and trust. Soo Yeon has failed, the mess will be something that her husband, her own child have to face. Also, she has helped possibly ruin another marriage. Of course blame lies to the other person as well but she is a woman, woman aren't supposed to do that to another woman. Its easy from a perspective of outsider to try to understand her but any one of us would hate to be on a situation like this, I ask what we'd feel. It won't be so easy to try to see her view of the world.
Also, its hard for her is a poor excuse. Its always hard on a lot of us in a lot of different ways. That's no excuse to cheat on your spouse. Its disgusting, it makes me sick to my stomach, I think I'll drop this show. I can't root for her but that call is her husband's to make but still I feel sick about it for some weird reason.

0
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

Relaxed, this just a drama, I though this drama is brilliant, about the issue, which almost happen in "real" situation.. So, I though you can continue watching this drama, because in next episode, will show, what will happen toward their marriage, how they will handle of the situation, how they will save their marriage/or just divorced, their son will save their marriage?why Soo Yeon cheating on Hyun Woo, maybe because of his mistake in past?Cheating is kind of disgusting thing, not even for someone who called wife but someone who called husband too..I just dont want give spoiler about I know in Japanese version, about her husband big mistake on past, maybe Korean version make little bit different from Japanese version, so keep watching and enjoy..Sometime we will blame someone who we saw in our eyes they do mistake, but behind the mistake maybe had something that make someone acting/reacted like that..But cheating is cheating, its kinda not forgiving..

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

"Also, she has helped possibly ruin another marriage. Of course blame lies to the other person as well but she is a woman, woman aren’t supposed to do that to another woman."

Truly understand how you feel about the cheating, but putting more weight on women seems a little wrong to me. Cheating is an act committed by two, too often I see women will be the one receiving more damage than men.

I don't know what is your gender, but if you condemn cheating you should condemn each involved party equally. Rather than saying, "she is a woman so she should not do this to another women", we should tweak our mindset to believe, anyone, men or women should never do this and whoever did this is equally responsible. Nobody should ruin the happiness of anybody.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

I am a woman and I've seen from a my perspective in reality woman often doing the worst damage to each other and hence that sentiment, I am not going easy on the guy though. He did as much damage as Soo Yeon. They are both ruining their own family with their own hands and for what, love?? I doubt that?? I just can't connect to Soo Yeon, her reasons don't feel compelling enough to me.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Is why i didn't watch on the way to the airport.
As for this show,i stop at ep.1 i just pop up here to see if the wifey really have an affair.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I have to wonder how many of the people who insist that hyunwoo should have let the other man spill the beans are married. The generally accepted wisdom from most infidelity communities is that you tell the other betrayed spouse immediately, before the cheaters have the opportunity to get rid of evidence and formulate a cover story. Thus far he actually seems pretty tame. I know one woman who sent her husband's sexually graphic hookup site account to his mother and the other woman's account to her husband and parents. I've watched people straight up destroy the cheater's career. Hyunwoo's revenge feels almost impotent in comparison.

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

Yes, his actions are well within the basic expectations of when a man learns his wife is intimate with another man. Anyone ever heard of a Crime of Passion? She's lucky he is mild.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

He is too either too nice of a guy or too incompetent. celebrating sun woo's birthday?
In real life people chew out the cheaters. This kind of makes him less of a man. He loses manly points there. His actions were understandable.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

i just dont understand something, why is cheating condemned like this, i mean, whether you are married or not with time the strong feelings you felt for someone are bound to disapear, it usually just becomes a comfortable relationship to which you hold tightly because it has become a part of your daily life.
And wether it is a married person or just someone in a relationship, they are still people, they can find someone else with whom they will find a new love, why is it considered as a crime when it boils down to love ?

Are married people obliged to not feel anything for anyone since they are married?
Does getting married suddenly cut us apart from the world and our pastself who could freely have crushes and flirt with peope ? Marriage is just a wish; its about two people who wish to spend the rest of their lives together and the moment one of them does not think about it, it breaks.

People meeting, dating, fighthing, hating, separating, it just happens, the issue is not being married, among all the cheaters in the drama yoonki is the most concerning because he is actually using Ara and making openly fun of her since he is well aware of her knowing his bad deeds. Their relationship is concerning. They are kind of representing a traditionnal couple where the husband is a cheater.

But as for sooyeon and hyunwoo, they are quite modern, both of them are working and taking care of their child together. They had to find some kind of balance between their life as a couple, their child, their professional life but it seems that they still did not manage to find it and as a viewer we arz bound to wonder how they could have done things so that it did not turn out like this.
Actually watching the first two episodes i was more shocked by the relationship between the couple rather than the cheating issue.

i hope i made sense lol, i was just feeling bad that soo yeon got all that hate when both her and her husband are struggling, maybe by the end of the drama people will see it differently

have a good day everyon (runs back to watch three meals a day with a pot of ramen x') )

0
11
reply

Required fields are marked *

Er... cheating is not a crime but it's understandable why it's condemned. Because it's the breaking of trust between two people who had promised and were supposed to be the closest to each other.

Love coming in or suddenly finding your heart straying is not a problem until you act on it. Yes, it's hard to control what your heart wants but you definitely CAN control what you DO. And by choosing to sleep with the other guy, SooYeon has evidently betrayed her husband.

It's not even that the husband and wife cleaned everything between them up and officially and legally washed their hands off each other. To HyunWoo, for the past six months, SooYeon was obligated and supposed to be his wife and no other man's lady. For the past six months, he thought she still believed in and had trusted her to keep to their vows to each other. It's a different thing if they broke up and he knows that their vows mean nothing any more.

I mean, if you can't trust in your partner, the one person you're supposed to trust the best in the entire world, and in the promise of a marriage and all it's obligations, then... what else are you supposed to trust?

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Because cheating is deception, and deception is always wrong.

People can and do engage in open marriages and polyamorous relationships, but it is something that must be done with the consent of all parties involved. Anything less than honesty on this front is a betrayal of trust.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Really? Boils down to love? Puh..lease...it boils down to sex if it comes down to it. Love has a variable of trust in it. People fail and do mistakes, sure...but to say that there is no mistake is just wrong in a whole different measure.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

You're kidding, right?

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I think the biggest mistake people make when they enter a marriage (or any committed long-term relationship, really) is the belief that love is a feeling/emotion. Because feelings/emotions are natural and instinctive, often a result of circumstances or even hormones, and not something we really can control. Thanks to novels, kdramas, and basic biology, we tend to equate "love" (or romantic love) with attraction - that exciting little fluttery feeling we get in our stomachs when we first meet someone we are interested in. Thank you pheromones and our species' biological drive to procreate!

But love is a choice we make - to be devoted to and care about another person deeply, regardless of circumstances. I wake up every day and make a choice to love my husband. Some days (thankfully still most days) I feel those happy butterflies of romantic love. But in my 20+ years of marriage, there have been many days when we've considered it a success to go to sleep still liking each other. Because life happens. But because we chose every day to love each other, here we are, still happily married and looking forward to a future together.

To answer your question, this doesn't mean you can't/won't still have a physical attraction to other people. Most people will, more than once, even in healthy, long-term relationships. You just have to choose to be faithful or to betray the trust of your partner. Circumstances can help push you one way or another but it is ultimately a choice. And it is condemned by most because a loving romantic relationship usually means an exclusive relationship, which implies trust. And if you don't have trust, it is hard to chose to love.

This is where I will have an issue with the drama. I can understand circumstances that might lead a spouse to chose to cheat (such as in On the Way to the Airport). And I can understand circumstances that will lead the betrayed spouse to forgive. But I really don't understand how someone who has been cheated on can ever really trust the unfaithful spouse enough to continue in the relationship ever again. It happens, I know. They are just a better person than I am.

1
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

About 4 years into our relationship, before I married my husband, he did cheat on me and I decided to stay and am now married to him and we've been together for over 20 years. The reason why I forgave him and continued on with our relationship is because of our circumstance. He told me what happened right away, and was very, very remorseful. I also did recently move to another state, and we were trying a long distance relationship after years of being together, which was harder on him than me. And honestly, even though it may sound weird, because of what happened, I trust my husband 100% and know he would never cheat on me again because if he does, he knows what the consequences would be. I think I just want people to know that it is possible to have a happy loving relationship even after an affair - but both people have to put in their 100% and work for the relationship.

0
3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thank you for sharing your experience Twinkles. I am very happy that everything worked out in a positive way for you both and that you were able to rebuild that trust.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Hi dramamama, love your comment and everything you said about marriage. Thanks so much for that!

0

Thanks twinkles for your uplifting sharing. That's what I would like to believe too that it is possible but only through a lot of hard work... 100% and even more!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I see many great answer here about why cheating is condemned.

A few other thing I want to point out is this. Someone who cheats in marriage normally gets worse treatment compare to someone who cheats in dating/boyfriend-Girlfriend relationship.

Why? Because the level of commitment, trust and vulnerability as well as dependency in a marriage is much much deeper than a dating relationship. Which is why cheating in a marriage is such destructive effect towards the marriage and the other party and therefore are condemned according to the level of pain and hurt it is inflicting to the marriage and the other party.

Also there is a long and calculated effort someone needs to do in order to cheat - I this case to have sexual affairs.
Don't confuse attraction - lust - admiration and love.

Yes, we are normal ppl that can still feel attracted and or admire other ppl. Yes we can even feel just towards other ppl. But there are many small actions you need to do to develop it into love or sexual affairs.

The secret coffee meeting
The many texts messages
The many phone calls
The planning you do to meet

You can have all the above and still haven't had sexual affairs! At any given point you can choose to either realise that your marriage has problem and deal with it or you can continue deceive your partner and have an affairs.

So affairs doesn't start with love.
It starts w "innocent" conversation that makes you happier.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Uggh seriously! You defend adultery by saying it's just love???? NO it is not love it is just lust which is completely different. Cheating does not require communication over children, home repairs, bills to be paid but rather just where do you want to get it on next. I have not done a study but I can guarantee that if the person cheats on their current spouse then they will most definitely cheat on you later on down the road. If it is true love then get a divorce first and then pursue your sexual desires.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I love this drama, I feel like every episode bring a piece to the puzzle. This camera work, editing, plot, ....everything is just awesome. It's also rare for a drama to make you thing about life

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

i ve looked at comments here and there and would like to know some beanies opinion

if the main couple had not been married ( and therefore with no child) and they were in a relatioship for 14 years as he says in the next ep
would it still make most of you mad that she cheated on him with someone else ?
if not could you explain why it makes a difference ?

(for instance you can think about coffee prince where the second leads had that kind of pb ( actually i dont remember if they were separated because of that, if i am wrong sorry ))

0
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

for me, it's the same thing. you broke a pact of trust you decided to have with someone.

of course each case has different context. but, for me, having a child or being together for more years make the cheating worse. probably hurts more and will demand more to whatever is the next step (reconciliton or divorce). the cheating itself, imo, is as wrong for them as for a couple together for few months, for example.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

*but, for me, having a child or being together for more years DOESN'T make the cheating worse

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

IMO, the key here is the phrase "in a relationship", and how that relationship is defined.

Is it friendship only as they raise their child? Then no, not cheating, not a problem.

Is it a mutually agreed upon open relationship where dating others is allowed? No, not cheating, not a problem.

Is it an exclusive (i.e. monogamous) relationship where each partner is expected to be faithful and not date anyone? Then yes, it is cheating, and yes it is a problem.

Marriage, for most folks, is understood to be monogamous. My hubby and I believe this way. But we also had a very honest and clear discussion about our expectations before we got married, so that there was no misunderstanding. We not only discussed our expectations for faithfulness, we discussed what the consequences would be if this was broken.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

In a lot of states in the US if you spend more than 7 years living together, is consider a "common law marriage", meaning that if you separate from your partner, the division of assets will be comparable in court, as if they have been legitimately married for that many years....So IMHO whether married or not cheating still cheating!!!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I'm only luke-warm about this show, but it helps a little to imagine it as a sequel. Just pick any rom-com or other romance show and fast-forward about a decade. I nominate Miss Korea because it had the same male lead.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Unfortunately I have to agree with you. Korean dramas in general focus so much on the beginning of a romance and all the excitements and flutters that come with it. But once in a while a drama such as this comes along to bring home the reality that heady romances do not last forever without a lot of hard work. I have lived in Asia and America. In the west I still see married couples (older and younger) holding hands, greeting each other with a kiss, and saying I love you at the end of phone calls. I don't think I witnessed much of that in Asia. Part of it is culture for sure, but I am also sure married people get too comfortable and think it no longer necessary to try too hard.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

The guy she's having a affair with works for J Motors. Are they the manufacturer of the Truck of Doom??

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

The ghost part was very random, but it provided a short comedic moment. I guess the drama wanted to show more of Yoon Ki's story/perspective, but watching him cheat over and over again was just not cool. His wife was so close by! It was terrible. I wanted her to find out the truth so bad. I hope it happens soon, but I hope it doesn't break her.

0
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

That part was right from 18+ content. I googled and found exponentiation results.

Yoon Ki is demonstrating live "Dummies guide to cheat". Gold digger girl was 1 thing but divorced teacher too? waaah

Ae Ra need to beat this guy to pulp and then throw on streets.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I hope it happens soon, but I hope it doesn’t break her.

I bet it's gonna break him. Or she. She's gonna break him. >:D

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

LOL..I was scared sh*tless since I wasn't really expecting that in this drama....

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Me, too. And that would affect my rewatch of this episode in the future. I hope they don't do this again to us.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

There really is no black and white when it comes to affairs of the heart. Rarely is the distress in a relationship 100% due to just one spouse. It takes two to tango and something big derailed in the marriage to allow one person to entertain attraction to an outside person. It could be as simple as one spouse communicating honestly, "I need you to help me with the housework" or "I feel hurt by your tone of voice" or "It's hard for me to remain attracted to you in you gain 100 pounds". It's important to remember that we fall in love with someone based on the experience we have of them at the beginning, whether a 20 year friendship has turned to love or a 5-minute interaction is love at first sight. Everything builds from there - all the information and communication (or lack thereof) ensues from that point. It is never (or rarely) one-sided.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Agreed. A lot of people think relationships involve meeting each other half way and giving it 50/50 each. But it's not that way, for a successful marriage both parties need to be willing to give 100% forward.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I love this show. I've been married for 12 years and my husband cheated on me twice. The first time was a few years ago and I decided to forgive him and try to work things out. But a few months ago, he cheated on me again. The pain of being cheated on and being taken for a fool was unbearable. Like physically stabbing your chest with a knife. I feel for Hyun woo. I totally understand him and how he acted. I was like that. I acted like a complete lunatic and acted with so much hate. And I was broken. It has been almost 9 months and we have been living separately since then. We have kids. And it's been hard. Forgiving is easier said than done. Trust is not something which you can piece back together and then it'll be as good as new . But as for now, life goes on. Me and my kids just have to keep breathing, eating, living as we know how. And pray for the best.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

If me, not married, got cheated on by a bf of barely two years, felt like my world crashed, I could just imagine that pain was multiplied by god-knows-how-much for you. I thought about doing it Carrie Underwood-style; I tried to come up ways just to get my revenge. Some might call me too weak, but I just let it go and decided to move on. And it's hard. Even till now, a couple of years later, I feel like I'm partly to blame. I always try to tell myself that it's never the "victim's" fault; it's the cheater who's always wrong. but... I did some self-evaluation, and I do realize I've some misgivings. my ex apologized, and it was sincere I could tell, and I forgive him. but once that trust had been broken, like you said, it'd be hard to piece it back.

anyway, sorry for riding on your comment with my own sob-story. Just wanted to say, you'll get through it. It'd be a tough road to find love again, but I do hope you will when you're ready and/or when you meet the RIGHT one!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

What angers me about Hyun Woo's behavior is his double standard in this "righteousness" he is exerting. Telling the wife about the affair in itself was the right thing to do but the manner in which he did it was cruel and extremely selfish. He sees his actions as fair and just as you said it, but if he really attached so much importance to right and wrong, why would he cover and actually HELP his cheating friend ? I've seen a comment higher saying that JK could have a story that would explain why he's cheating on his wife repeatedly and that it would somehow excuse him, while at the same time completely rejecting any explanation as to why Soo Yeon could give in to temptation. Don't tell me this doesn't have anything to do with how people perceive genders and their perceived roles in relationship especially when it pertains to cheating. It's kind of a shame that you don't delve deeper into the comments on the forum in the recap because they highlight exactly this. There's a clear divide between the male and female commenters and you actually see that double standard playing out.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I'd like to thank all those who have been courageous enough to share their own painful experiences with cheating in this comment thread. It's one of the most deeply personal set of responses I've ever read in any comment thread, which also shows how good the show is in sparking off thoughts and reflection especially for married couples. After finishing the episode, I also had a honest discussion with my wife on how we will handle it if an affair happens.

It was certainly a difficult episode to watch, and a difficult episode to write about.. but here are my thoughts on this episode:
https://kdramaanalysis.wordpress.com/2016/11/15/my-wifes-having-an-affair-this-week-episode-5/

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I'm on Soo-Yeon's side. Yes she did cheat. Yes it was wrong but even from the start, you can see Hyun-woo did not appreciate her existence in his life more than basic. She was his awesome accessory - no maintenance required. He got himself a house girl in the package of a god-wife on a pedestal. So I don't blame her for cheating on him, if it was to feel like she was not just a mother, wife and a convinient housekeeper. I've watched a woman close to me be hurt by her husband, hurt by his family and she comes to work and explodes. She lets her hurts and feelings out to people who would listen. Does Soo-Yeon have someone who would listen to her frustrations? Her stresses at work or with the other mothers? So if she needed to let off steam by having an affair, then so it is. My only upset is she went with someone who was married but then it keeps both sides from attaching strings. I'm not saying that Hyun-woo has no right to be angry, he does. The life he thought he had is what it is in reality but he is at fault for not looking beyond what he wanted to see, not taking care of his wife more, not seeing her as a person with needs as well. And Soo-Yeon is also at fault for perpetutaing the prefect wife illusion and not knocking some sense into her husband's head.

Yoon-ki totally deserves Ara serving him for half and then some. But it seems like a cat and mouse game between them.

Poor Bo-Young, if that is the tale; that sucks. I would be surprised if he doesn't have trust/abandoment/self-esteem issues from that event.

0
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I understand she felt suffocated by the burden of being perfect but we don't yet know if she ever let her thoughts out or tried to open up. She reminds me of Bree from Desperate Housewife but atleast she didn't cheat. So that excuse doesn't work. If she had talked, failed at making a point and instead wanted out, I could agree. She instead went ahead, slept and had a 6 month's long affair with a guy who has a family of his own. How do you overlook that level of betrayal of trust and that sort of mistake. She is an adult, she and that other slimy husband both knew they were betraying their vows, sense of decency and work ethics. I fail to understand how all of that is okay. That said, this show is about unfaithful spouse and how to deal with it so ball is for now in Hyun Wood court. It's his call. And no I do not agree to him outing the guy to his wife but atleast I can understand where he is coming from.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Yes to this. Some others have pointed out the same thing, that how do you expect a man to second guess it when he asks if his wife is okay and she answers with a sweet smile that yes, she is okay? Men do not usually want to prod and prod. Besides I can picture her getting annoying at being doubted at if she has resolved to hide all feelings and maintain that perfect wife image.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

The wife is busy with her carreer and family.she clearly have a lot on her plate but not busy enough for her to add an affair.how did she have the time for that when she barely have time to pick her son at school?smh
I get that she might be overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of having a family and carreer at the same time but she should have told her husband that she's struggling and share the burden with him.have a schedule for house chores shared between them.
If he still wouldn't help,threaten him with divorce.
The husband probably thought that she's okay because she's smiling all the time and acted fine.

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Exactly. She has a 6 month affair that was going be to even longer because she had NO intention of telling her husband or ending it with a guy. She's oddly protective of him and seems like she cares more about him than her husband. I would be livid and he is also. No one reacts text book like, it blinded sided him!

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I stayed with a relative who had a small daughter sometime last year. he had a very loving relationship with her and the little girl obviously adored her father.A few weeks passed and the God-son of this relative of mine came to stay with them for a few weeks. He was about the same age as the girl but a yr or 2 younger. the girl's father was happy to see his God-son whom he hadn't seen in a while and spent so much time with him;bought him a lot of gifts also. his own daughter felt neglected and angry and one faithful morning,she smashed the expensive toy her dad had bought the little boy.when asked why she did that,she could only cry. her father understood exactly what had happened and apologised....

My point is this:That little girl felt a lot of hurt in what she felt was betrayal by her dad and she expressed it.it helped everyone know exactly how she felt n after the father had apologised n assured her of his love,she was happy to let go. I think hyun woo's actions are just showing how much he is hurt and frustrated because seo yeon didn't even bother explaining herself.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

To answer your question at the top: "Is it harder to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness?"

I think it's harder to ask for forgiveness. Forgiving someone, you can do on your own will. Asking for forgiveness depends on someone else. Especially if you did something to lose that person's trust.

0
3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Right. Hyun Woo has said so many times he would have forgiven her had his wife come clean and ask for forgiveness. For reasons we don't know she has not done that. Maybe she is too proud, maybe she feels he won't forgive her, but I tend to think she has no affection left for her husband and is staying in the marriage only for her son.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

I think it's harder to forgive...

When one commits a mistake, you only need to ask for forgiveness to "pass" the ball to the other court. When you ask for forgiveness/do actions toward being forgiven, you're atoning for your sins, you're already clearing out your feelings. Example, you can keep saying sorry, send flowers, do chores, make grand gestures... all in asking for forgiveness.

But the person who has to forgive cannot do anything else except forgive or accept the effort. And it's not that simple if you can't get over the pain. Meanwhile, as the sinner keeps doing things for you, there's an increasing burden to forgive them because they already apologized in so many ways.

Or maybe you're right. In general, it IS easy to forgive. You just, y'know, forgive them. Haha it's such a simple concept but I find it harder in practice so personally, I think it's harder to forgive.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

For me, its much easier to ask for forgiveness as I would be relieved of my guilt irrespective of whether I'm really forgiven or not but its really hard to forgive as we keep getting reminded of that pain we went through whenever we face that person or a similar situation of even lesser impact

1
reply

Required fields are marked *

This episode made me feel less sympathetic towards Soo Yeon. This isn't just an issue with her marriage.....she has a bad habit of holding in her thoughts and feelings. She does it at work, with her husband (duh, as we all know), with her son, her lover and the mothers she has to interact with. She should've told her boss that she has worked hard on the project, that it is almost over and it would be unfair to have someone else get the credit for it. She should've told her lover not to sabotage her hard work because the relationship that developed between them....yes, it was inappropriate and if her boss found out, she would've been kicked off anyway. But if she got this project fair and square, and spent time and energy getting it to near completion, she deserves the credit. Convince lover boy that you can keep things professional for the sake of getting the credit you earned. She should talk to her husband about what she wants. She shouldn't have felt like she needed to bend over backwards for the other mothers just to get her son into an art academy. I think if she practiced standing up for herself even once in a while, she might not feel overwhelmed by everything else. Example, if she fought for the project, the whole art academy situation would probably feel less burdensome. But she keeps on giving to others, and now her world is falling apart because she used the strength that she had to pursue the wrong thing. How her husband reacted was understandable, and I don't blame him. Soo Yeon needs to address this head on and stop dillydallying. She gives up way too easily. I honestly don't feel that she loves her husband....I see absolutely no indication, even in the wedding video. Maybe she forced herself into marriage with Hyun Woo in the first place, the way this girl is moving I wouldn't be too surprised to hear. But whether she does love him or not, and whether or not she wants a divorce, she needs to open her mouth and say her part. Stand up for yourself, because what you think counts and trust me, you have many MANY persons wanting to hear your part (ie, us viewers lol).

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

you know i love that the show is making people think about somany things
We all know more or less women like the main lead, they do not share theur hardship with anyone, they keep everything to themselves and have decided that no matter what they should be able to do everything, including being a perfect mother.

Most of you are frustrated at her for not speking up but i can understand her behavior, i am usually very shy and afraid of people judgement so i do not even darz posting messages on internet ( this might be my second post here in dramabeans althought i have been regularly coming to the websitz for 5 years )

As i think a lot before doing anything, i am also unable to react in a " proper"way and somtimes gets misunderstood for instance you are saying she should have asked for forgiveness but isnt it shamefull to do that after making an obvious mistake ? She knew her husband would feel betrayed but she still did it so she has to endure his anger until he deems it enough of a punishment. That is what i would think and do in her stead even if she might be acting like this becaise of some other reason.

Sge is kind of cut from the world, she does not seem close to her coworkers, her fling with the other man felt quite superficial as he did not even try to comfort her after she was found out by her husband, her mother in law seems to be another source of stress... If this is all there is to her life its quite depressing, she has no one to rely on, how did she end uo this way, was it her choice? was it because of her demanding family ? was she this way from the beginning ? howewer shy and reserved you are you ought to at least have a friend to talk to but some people seem to lack even that
it makes me feel sad

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

That's so true. I felt the relationship with the man was a bit one-sided because, even though he said he loved her, he cut her from the project without letting her know and suddenly became distant.

Now that you mention it, you're right, she doesn't seem to have anybody to turn to which is quite sad. I can't wait to find out more about her side of the story.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

The commenters in this recap have such great wisdom! I watched this episode already and I'm only coming back for the comments.

One question though, Why is it harder to forgive women who cheat than men?

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

The typical answer, of course, is because we get used to the idea that men cheat more than women, at least among married men anyway. So in a way it is more acceptable, thus more forgivable. I can name a few men in my extended family alone who have been unfaithful to their wives, but I can't name a single woman. Many married men cheat, but they don't necessarily have extended affairs, because they cheat with prostitutes, etc.. Some do keep mistresses, but usually they are not married women. So when we hear of an otherwise upstanding woman of society has an affair we are shocked and less quick to forgive.

0
reply

Required fields are marked *

She does act like a victim, all meek and quiet, feeling sorry for herself. She got caught up in being the perfect wife and thus destroyed her marriage in the process. I don't feel sorry for the cheater. If she was unhappy, then divorce and seek you the happiness you think you need. Ugh her character is getting on my nerves.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

This show IMO plays on all the stereotypes of a man vs a woman cheating and I think it's really sad and it angers me. When Soo Yeon is the one cheating, there is supposed depth to it and the writers spend a great deal of time to reason it from her perspective, even going as far as to make her character somewhat sympathetic. When the man is the one cheating (i.e. lawyer friend), he's shown to basically only be doing it for the physical attraction and the audience is left to hate that character with no other feelings or emotion. This is so wrong on so many levels.

I see a lot of people on this comment board asking for Hyun Woo to act reasonable as if he's supposed to be rationale in a situation like this. For you women out there that believe that, please, give me a break. Cheating should never ever be justified, and it's not a matter of depth into the reasons why one may cheat. Hyun Woo should have told the other husbands wife, whether it was malice intent or not. His reaction is not "childish" as the reviewer wants to point out so elegantly; it's a man that has lost everything he cared about and his actions are done from a feeling of betrayal and anger as any other human being would be. If the situations were reversed, I don't believe the women on this board would be so rationale towards Hyun Woo. I don't think the reviewer would be so quick to point out that Soo Yeon is being childish. It would be pitchforks out and whatever Soo Yeon did would be justified. We as a society talk about double standards from a women's perspective all the time whether it be for pay, or for certain rights, and I for one am all for that. However, for those women fighting for these justified causes, you can not then be a hypocrite and turn around and try to find excuses for Soo Yeon's behavior. Cause equality should be that. For both sides. She is clearly wrong and I think the drama trying to portray the marriage with his flaws and so in turn, giving her some sort of sympathy for her actions is pathetic. Marriage is deep; it has layers. It's complicated and hard. But cheating is not a solution, it's not something that has merit. You wanna leave the guy because you no longer feel for him. Fine do that. But cheating and trying to make excuses for it. Save that nonsense for court

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

If any wisdom can be learned about extramarital affairs in real life from reel life (Valid Love, A Word from War Heart, and other dramas), they are:
1. Married couples are vulnerable to the lures of having an affair today;
2. Affairs usually "just happen" and is symptomatic of a dysfunctional marriage not it's cure;
3. Affairs usually start out as caring and empathic relationships between colleagues, friends, and business associates.
4. Although affairs can be emotional or sexual, they tend to incorporate sex over time;
5. Affairs may start out in secret, but they rarely stay secret for long;
6. Once exposed, the fallout from the affair can destructively affect many innocent people (children and social groups), careers, and even organisations;
7. It is easier to forgive than forget unless the early onset of dementia;
8. Beware the lures of an affair. If you cannot resist it, get divorced before it becomes serious!

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Contrary to some comments I think that HW's reaction to SW affair with his wife was reasonable and measured. I would have dismembered him.
Firstly, HW did not create a public ruckus in the elevator.
Secondly, he did not create a ruckus at SW's workplace the two times he was there.
Thirdly, HW could have gone to SW's home to take it out on his children.
Fourthly, he could destroy SW's public reputation.
SY also seemed more concerned and protective of SW rather than HW.
Fifthly, SW and SY were the ones who first put themselves and their families at risk. I cannot imagine that how they thought their secret affair can stay secret.
Lastly, if HW did not go to such lengths as to inform SW's wife, I doubt if SW and SY would cease their affair so effectively. Alas, HW and JS will be hurt and scarred for life.

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *