Running Man: Episode 312

by gummimochi

Old habits will die hard this week when our cast is faced with writing a refreshing take on a classic song. Some singers will join the mix to help them come up with the right words to make this summer rendition into a catchy tune. The question is—will their input be a help or a hindrance? There’s only one way to find out.

EPISODE 312. Broadcast on August 14, 2016.

We open on a blistering summer day in Yangpyeong, which makes Kwang-soo and Gary’s choice of long sleeves and hoodie so puzzling. Myuk PD decides to review some stats from the past month, brought to us by SBS sportscaster, Kim Min-ah.

The first chart indicates that Ace Ji-hyo had the most victories (Episodes 306, 307, and 309) whereas Kwang-soo had zero. He brightens when he and Haha are tied for ripping off the greatest number of nametags; however our Betrayal Trio have been eliminated the greatest number of times as well.

The next chart shows that Jae-suk had the longest average time of staying in the game, and the other members hit similar numbers. And then there’s Kwang-soo, who lasts on average, 3:34 minutes.

Among the Top 3 most-viewed clips in July, Gary and Hyo-min (from Episode 307) took the most focus. Myuk PD explains that he’s heard the viewer response, particularly how they thought the foul play and betrayal were too extreme as of late.

So he’ll be rolling out a new campaign for August that bans these two elements, which the Betrayal Trio immediately refutes—what will they do without this angle? But no matter because the new plan is that the referees will issue a maximum of two warnings. Should anyone continue this behavior in at least three episodes, they’ll be left out of one future episode.

That takes everyone by surprise, especially our Betrayal Icon Kwang-soo. Lol, this episode hasn’t even started yet and everyone knows he has the greatest likelihood of facing punishment.

Time to split into teams of Singers Team (Suk-jin, Jong-kook, Gary, and Haha) and Non-Singers Team (Jae-suk, Kwang-soo, and Ji-hyo). They argue that calling Suk-jin a singer is a stretch, especially when the addition to the Non-Singers Team is none other than singer-songwriter Yoon Jong-shin.

He’s here to help out the Non-Singers Team in a music-themed race where both teams will rewrite one of his hits. When Jong-kook worries that the Singers Team have the edge, Jong-shin snaps back at him, only to regret that a few seconds later.

The losers from each game will be required to add in a word to their rewrite, and both teams will ultimately give a live performance of the fresh take on the classic songs. Not only will they be judged on the lyrics (15 points) and performance (5 points), those judges include the public and a handful of celebrities ranging from actresses to music experts.

Today’s prize includes a golden musical note AND last week’s prizes… because Jong-kook’s crew left the gold and gift certificate behind. LOL.

It’s time to choose a song from either the 2001 hit, “Patbingsoo”, “Rebirth” from 1996, “My Love Ugly” in 1995, and “Expressway Romance.” Everyone connects the last song with singer Kim Jang-hoon because he also sang it, though Yong-shin insists that it was his song first.

They choose “Expressway Romance”, then it’s off to start the games. Once they’re in the pool, they’re reminded that wrestling is still allowed, but any foul play will be caught by the refs.

There are a few key items on the line in this first game: singers Kim Kyung-ho and Bada. Kyung-ho joins the Non-Singers Team whilst Bada joins the Singers Team, and goes straight to holding hands with Gary. Hehe.

Here the teams will help one teammate jump through a series of rings to win, and the “items” waiting for them are actor and screenwriter Yoo Byung-jae and singer Jo Jung-chi.

Jae-suk: “Isn’t Jung-chi a part of Jong-shin’s agency?” Haha: “Did Jong-shin go ahead to pay money to appear on this show today?” Neither team considers either choice much of a reward, but both have particular qualities to offer.

Gary takes offense when Bada mistakens him to be Gaeko of Dynamic Duo, though now he understands what she meant when she asked him about why he didn’t feature in one of her songs. She rubs salt to the wound when she refers to LeeSsang as “TwoSsang.”

HA—then Jong-shin adds that he recently worked with Gary, who was approached for his “sexy lyrics.”

Anyhow, the game begins, and both Ji-hyo and Bada literally jump through hoops. Bada is about to jump through the last one when a pair of hands try to pull her back. Those hands belong to Kwang-soo, though Jae-suk does his part as well. Both names are written down as infractions.

Ji-hyo tries to climb through as well, and now everyone is all over this hoop. Bada passes through first, and the Singers Team chooses Yoo Byung-jae.

Their next game will determine who will perform first where the objective is to push the other team off of the inflatable flamingos or swans—the last person standing, wins. However, the losing team must include the phrase “a sweeping flamingo victory” in their rewritten lyrics.

Each team is allowed to use an item, and barely a minute passes before Kyung-ho’s inflatable flamingo capsizes. Jong-shin engages Jong-kook when he senses that Jae-suk is in danger. He jumps, fully intending to bring Jong-kook down with him…

… but Jong-kook stays put. Ji-hyo comes to the rescue, but when Jae-suk’s flamingo flips, he hangs on for dear life. Jong-kook: “Doesn’t this count?” Jae-suk: “I’m still in!”

While Ji-hyo hits Gary with a plastic hammer, we see Kwang-soo poke a hole into the inflatable swan with a hidden pair of scissors. Neither of the refs were able to see what happened, and Gary sends out an SOS to his teammates.

Kwang-soo makes a noticeable rip in both Haha and Suk-jin’s inflatable swans. Unfortunately for him, Haha sees the scissors and pulls Kwang-soo’s hair in retaliation. He’s quickly pulled into the water, then makes a run for it.

If you can believe it, Jae-suk is still clinging onto his flamingo. Having had enough, Jong-kook rips into the inflatable animal, but Jong-shin insists that Jae-suk’s feet haven’t touched the bottom the pool.

Speaking of which, Jong-shin coaches Jae-suk to bite into the inflatable swan, and then Jae-suk pulls Jong-kook down with him.

Only that Jong-kook is still holding onto his swan, which means that the Singers Team wins.

Once they’ve showered, Jae-suk mentions that he nearly mistook Kyung-ho for a woman because of his long locks. Kyung-ho says it was the first time in over two decades that he took a shower in a public bath, because he was once written up.

The staff have prepared a list of possible words and phrases the teams can hand to one another through the remaining games. Haha remarks that “My Love Su Ae” sounds like a song title while Jae-suk likens Jong-shin’s jokes to piranhas.

Jong-shin adds, “If there’s a hint of blood around, I’m drawn to it!” And then he turns to Jong-kook, whose high-pitched singing voice earns him the nickname “Mosquito”: “You can use ‘mosquito repellant’!”

Time for the first indoor game: Challenge 10 Songs, where one person will stand on an ice block and sing the correct lyrics. The Non-Singers Team is up first, and Jae-suk can feel the shock as soon as he steps on the ice.

Once Jae-suk messes up, Haha says the Non-Singers would have an advantage of they landed on Jong-shin’s hit “Patbingsoo”. Jong-shin: “I have to look at the lyrics too! The singers in my generation weren’t able to sing it blind!”

Bada is confident in knowing the lyrics to Park Mi-kyung’s “Eve Warning” — it’s just that the song has a super long intro and she’s stuck on the ice. But then she blanks on the first set of missing lines and gets the next line wrong, so Haha responds with her own single: “You’re so mad!”

Byung-jae seems to be frozen in place for Cool’s “Summer Story”, but he’s just waiting for the correct time to jump in. He messes up by the second verse as well, so the production crew bends the rules for everyone.

Kwang-soo climbs up for DJ Doc’s “Summer Story”, only to step off a moment later. He lasts through the first page, but then pulls in Jae-suk to take over just before the musical break. That throws everything off for Jae-suk, who can’t figure out where to jump in again.

Jong-kook just happens to be wearing a Deux hat when he steps up to sing “In Summer”. Bada feeds him the lyrics and they get through the song together. Jae-suk slyly slides up to the group as the Singers choose a word for the other team.

Neither Bada nor Suk-jin is flustered at the possibility of getting kongguksoo cold soy noodle soup, and then we see that each group does get a whole set of words.

Afterward, Myuk PD ups the stakes for the next game: the losing team will need to include a proverb. In this game, they’ll go down a line singing lyrics to a given theme while passing along a ticking time bomb, er, microphone.

The first topic is food, and Bada starts to sweat when she’s handed the microphone. She starts singing 10cm’s “Americano” when the top suddenly falls to the ground, much to everyone’s shock.

Ji-hyo sings “cold noodles” over and over again before getting some help from her teammates. Gary starts punching when Kwang-soo sings “a squid with twelve legs”, but those are also the lyrics to Eagle Five’s “Squid Aliens.”

Jae-suk gets in hot water for singing a commercial jingle, then he says he’ll wait it out until there are only a few seconds left on the clock. The mic is handed down the line to Haha who sings two different songs before giving it back to Jung-chi… and it bursts in his hands.

The Non-Singers Team takes issue with Haha’s choice of “Cuban Sandwich”, but then Jong-shin argues that the song DOES exist (he, Haha, and Skull sang the single together). The Singers Team is given the win for the round.

The next topic is “names” and everyone gives a location or another name until Bada starts singing about a field. Er, I don’t that counts. The ticking time mic reaches Ji-hyo before making its way back to Gary, but it eventually bursts in Jung-chi’s hands again.

The Singers Team hones in on the proverb “Mosquitoes are a nuisance”, and then it’s off to the drawing board.

Despite having 11 random words and phrases, Jong-shin inserts two words to string together naturally. Between the three singers in the team, they manipulate the syllables to match the song’s rhythm, and as for “piranha” Jong-shin offers, “Would you hold my hand, piranha?”

He argues that it could be an expression of love—like how someone loves another person so much that they just want to bite them. Meanwhile, the Singers Team tries to piece together all the food words, but the problem here is that there are way too many cooks in the kitchen trying to offer what they each think is the “best” idea.

In the other room, Kwang-soo offers to just shout “a sweeping flamingo victory” to the crowd. Jong-shin suggest they can add a syllable to the end of each line, which Kwang-soo thinks might be a cheap shot.

After rehearsal, the Singers Team opts to go second. Now Myuk PD says the crowd they’ll be singing to are college students majoring in Creative Writing and Applied Music. Our celebrity judges will receive a video performance and the lyrics, and both scores will be applied to their total.

The Non-Singers Team goes up on stage first in adorable sailor uniforms to sing to their rendition “Beltway Romance.” The original lyrics to “Expressway Romance” is also onscreen for us to compare, and HA—they do add a syllable of “a sweeping flamingo” to the end of each line of the chorus. It’s super cute.

The team can barely lift their heads once the song is over and quickly disappear backstage. The Singers Team think of tips of how to better engage the audience with “Delivery Romance” as Bada hops across the stage during the intro.

Jong-kook appears to sing with her before Gary and Suk-jin join in. The entire team is onstage for the chorus, and Bada “hops on” the Jong-kook motorcycle that the other team realizes they made up on the spot. Hey, whatever works.

Now that their performances are over, the team take a look at each other’s lyrics. Suk-jin pauses at the “piranha” line, and Jong-shin says the water guns he uses are rather slow. The Singers are criticized for the sudden transition between a trip and food delivery, and when Gary says it’s because these lyrics take place in Busan, Jong-shin says they should’ve inserted the dialect then. LOL.

No matter what they say now, the result rests in their judges’ hands. The maximum number of points is 200, and the teams came pretty close: 140.1 vs. 142 7.

We see that actress Han Hye-jin enjoyed the “Delivery Romance” lyrics whereas she had trouble with “Beltway Romance.” However, critic Im Jin-mo has the opposite opinion — that “Beltway Romance” painted a word picture.

Lyricist Kim In-na can spot the Non-Singers Team use of the “sweeping flamingo victory” line, and when she asks if she can give negative points to the Singers Team, Jong-kook swears that he’ll go and review all of her work.

It turns out that webtoon artist Jo Seok is a huge Kim Kyung-ho fan, so he gave that team high marks. Actress Park Bo-young had asked if it was fair that the Non-Singers Team had the original artist on their team. To that, Jae-suk says Jong-shin was more of an obstacle than anything else.

Announcer Bae Sung-jae had remarked that “Beltway Romance” was anticlimactic, while praising the catchy tune of “Delivery Romance.” And so the team that earned 142.7 points is…

… the Singers Team. It turns out the extra 2.6 points came from a higher performance score, and it’ll be the singers who get the last note.

 
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