Santa Strikes Back! [Year In Review, Part 6]
by Santa Claus
What the ever-lovin’ reindeer feculence? I get home from my overnight trans-earthian sleigh odyssey, settle back with my hard-earned fifths of whiskey to read up on what I’ve missed in dramaland, and find that they’ve finished the year-end reviews without me? This is an outrage! I know who’s getting their presents revoked this year! Goddamn naughty candy cane stuffers. How could those glumdrops possibly consider a year complete without my gleaming snowballs of wisdom? They can shut me out, but they can’t shut me up! I will be heard, even if I have to bribe my hacker elf and actually watch some dramas to do it.
Here’s the Year-End Review you’ve REALLY been waiting for… *Hic!*
What’s Up: The usual. Reindeer up my ass about unfair wages, giving the elves bad ideas about workers’ “rights” and union power. I swear, another year of this labor fiddle-faddle and I’ll be outsourcing to Canadian Caribou and Arctic Oompaloompas.
Dream High: But not too high. Might’ve been your dream my sleigh trampled on last night. Watch where you put that thing.
Manny: A man raises a kid and you make him a hero? Here in the North Pole, a man raises a kid and we call him a man. Okay, fine, an elf.
49 Days: 49 Days to cry three tears? C’mere, I’ll show you real tears.
High Kick 3: Counterattack of the Short Legs: Shhh! Don’t give the elves any bright ideas.
City Hunter: This is the worst comedy I’ve ever seen. Wait, this isn’t Three Dads, One Mom?
Princess(‘) Man: Call me a fuddy-duddy. I like my sugarplum fairies pink and my princesses female.
My Princess: I already did this one!
Me Too, Flower!: The name’s Santa, but I can see how you’d make that mistake.
Royal Family: Yeah it’s lonely at the top.
Can’t Lose: Sure you can. In a marriage, both sides lose.
Best Love: The best love is the kind between a man and his whiskey.
Scent of a Woman: If tango cures cancer, does it also cure boredom?
Girl K: Schoolgirl uniform, thigh-highs, and killing for hire? Best job ever.
Lie to Me: I always do.
Miss Ripley: This is why I’ve instituted a 30-day background check on all new elves.
Thousand Day Promise: We fail, but we try anyway. This is why every third Christmas sucks.
Vampire Prosecutor: Usually when a lawyer sucks your blood they slap you with a bill afterwards.
Baby-Faced Beauty: Why thank you. It’s the night cream made from crushed reindeer antlers and elf earwax.
Poseidon: This guy’s a wet blanket, but he plays a mean game of poker.
Midas: Stingy bastard owes me a drink.
Athena: Bitch thinks she’s better than me.
Warrior Baek Dong-soo: Hey, I deliver these action figures to little girls every year. They’re called Barbie.
You’ve Fallen For Me: Well that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Man of Honor: Not according to my naughty list.
I Need Romance: Like a reindeer needs an opinion.
Paradise Ranch: Is there a river of whiskey flowing through it?
Tree With Deep Roots: Mrs. Claus has a weed-killer that’ll take care of that problem.
The Musical: If I have to watch another rendition of the Elf Nutcracker, I’ll start cracking some nuts.
Sign: If you leave signs, how will you get away with it? Murderers these days.
The Duo: Sometimes I think I was switched at birth.
President: I prefer the term Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North.
White Christmas: This drama’s a sham. No Santa, no Christmas.
Can You Hear My Heart?: Well that’s a rude question to ask a deaf guy. And they call ME insensitive.
Protect the Boss: Aka Santa 101, the first required course for elves at North Pole U.
Myung-wol the Spy: First law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Never fall in love with the shifty South Pole-ian you were sent to kill.
Birdie Buddy: Second law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. No fraternizing with the waddling waterfowl.
Ojakkyo Brothers: Third law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Beware of ducks. The waddling bastards.
Thorn Birds: Fourth law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad: Enough with the birth secrets!
Crime Squad: I’ve been meaning to call these guys. I’m missing a reindeer muzzle and Rudolph has an alibi.
RELATED POSTS
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 5: Editors’ Picks
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 4: The DramaMeter: highly scientific and foolproof (girlfriday’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 3: Somewhere Over the K-Drama Rainbow (Dahee Fanel’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 2: The Good, The Bad, and The Hmmm… of 2011 (kaedejun’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 1: Measuring 2011 on the Sticky Scale (javabeans’ review)
- 2011 Beanie Awards: Vote for your favorite dramas of the past year
Tags: 49 Days, Athena: Goddess of War, Baby-Faced Beauty, Best Love, Birdie Buddy, Can You Hear My Heart, Can't Lose, City Hunter, Crime Squad, Dream High, featured, Girl K, High Kick: Counterattack of the Short Legs, I Need Romance, Lie To Me, Man of Honor, Manny, Me Too Flower, My Princess, Myung-wol the Spy, Paradise Ranch, Poseidon, President, Protect the Boss, Royal Family, Scent of a Woman, Sign, The Duo, The Musical, The Princess's Man, Thorn Birds, Tree With Deep Roots, Vampire Prosecutor, Warrior Baek Dong-soo, What's Up, You've Fallen For Me
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51 cherkell
December 26, 2011 at 10:13 AM
Santa? Santa, is that where you headed off to -- back to your computer to pound out another Dramabeans Recap?!? All I know is that when I woke up this morning, you were gone. I look around, and after surveying the crumpled blankets, tossed-aside lingerie, the empty plate of oysters, crumbs from half-eaten cookies... and the 37 empty bottles of Jinjo, I see this note sitting on my nightstand:
"Ho ho ho -- sorry that I'll be gone by the time you read this. I had to leave early to go 'feed the reindeer' (if you catch my drift). I had a really REALLY good time making sure you were 'naughty or nice -- I'll definitely make sure your house is my last stop EVERY year from now on. Saranghaeyo... P.S. Where did you learn how to give a veggie oil rubdown like *that*?!?"
Aigoo. I swear I wouldn't open my chimney to him again for fear of getting my heart broken every year. Welp, better start cleaning up this place -- there's melting snow and coal dust everywhere... ::grumble::
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52 Almighty Stalker
December 26, 2011 at 11:47 AM
Reading this makes me wish that there was like button somewhere for the various comments XD
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53 anicheung
December 26, 2011 at 1:51 PM
Heh. I thought this was pretty amusing, but didn't really start laughing until the North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad laws -- cute. And the drama series with Greek god and goddess names -- that was a nice touch!
This might be a post better enjoyed with a little of Santa's whiskey though. But it was still fun.
Thanks to everyone at Dramabeans for a great year! And a belated Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
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54 supah
December 26, 2011 at 3:58 PM
Gahhhh... Laughed so hard at everything... Everything, so hard, I could cry. If there was one gift I wished for this christmas, 'twas Santa's Golden Snark.
Et Voila!
*Kisses to Santa*
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55 myr
December 26, 2011 at 4:45 PM
No one beats Santa at review making! :D
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56 Claire
December 26, 2011 at 6:58 PM
MEH! I hate this review! This is the worst one here in dramabeans. It doesn't make sense at all! This is the kind of comedy that one should never try! This Christmas punchline sucks! :D
Sorry If I'm rude! I can't help it! Your mean review is second to none.
HO! HO! HO! Rudolf should kick the butt of this SANTA CLAUS!!! ^^
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57 Sate Ayam
December 26, 2011 at 7:18 PM
You did it again, Santa. Epic!
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58 DarknessEyes
December 26, 2011 at 7:49 PM
haha i laughed so much :) Thanks for your opinions :D And WOW you watched ALL of that? *Applauds*
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59 annieee
December 26, 2011 at 8:03 PM
omg, this is great!! i was laughing my head off :D thanks santa!
but will we get an actual editors' pick post sometime? i don't want to ask for too much, santa, but i really wanted to hear the verdict from the real experts xppp
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annieee
December 26, 2011 at 8:13 PM
woops, just realized part 5 was already posted earlier. thank you jb, girlfriday, and all the other guest bloggers for another year of wonderful, fun writing on kdramas and k-entertainment!
wishing you all a happy, healthy 2012!!
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60 Viki
December 26, 2011 at 9:19 PM
Aigoo...ok, now give me one of those drinks!
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61 Pig rabbit
December 26, 2011 at 9:24 PM
Dear Santa,,
Better let your reindeers watch Flower Boy Ramyun Shop..
Omona,,, you didn't include that on your list..
Maybe that's where your elves' are havin' a meeting.,,
You see, They haven't seen such a good boss such as Panda Pillar..
Thanks for dropping by anyway.. Im hoping for your gift still.. the Pilsook doll, remember?
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62 mafilee
December 26, 2011 at 10:04 PM
The Best Year End Review..simple and funny..:D
How can i not laughed on this review ..much more near to reality..
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63 gaeinalee
December 27, 2011 at 12:55 AM
Santa, oh my dear Santa...
What an epic review you gave us, yours make my Xmas day full with LOLing... But, why no gift in my place? I've been such a model daughter, the best you ever imagine this whole year yet you deny me a gift?
...Oh, oh, found your note under my pillow.. Umm, ok, that's good to know that you haven't forget me. So, all I have to do just name it and you'll deliver before this year end? Perfect! Now, how 'bout one of those beautiful-manly ducks? You know... 1 of the middle bros. Yes, yes I know you remind me about the "Third law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Beware of ducks. The waddling bastards"... But, those waddling bastards are so-so irresistible! Please, grant me just for once 'k?
Or you may send me the dashing prosecutor turned lawyer from RF. You know, the one who love to shoot his Cupidion arrows to my direction, of course, while wearing red polka dot apron and ribbon... Yup that's him.
You choose which is the best for me, Santa... Whoever you send, I'll be good to him, love and cherish him... ^^
Thanks Santa, awaiting for the special delivery from you!
Love,
G~
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64 hjkomo
December 27, 2011 at 2:00 AM
Glad you made it through Christmas in one piece, Santa!
Did youreally watch all of those dramas, or did you make the minion-elves watch them and hand in summary reports? Come on...I can keep a secret... ;)
Oh, and just one word of advice, Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North: Better watch out for that Figurehead-Dictator-For-Life and the President-And-First-Tiger. They're wily ones...and they can hold their liquor. Sorta. :P
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xiaoSxin
December 27, 2011 at 2:34 AM
you still awake at this time too! HAHAHA!!
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65 xiaoSxin
December 27, 2011 at 2:34 AM
Whenever Santa drops by Dramabeans.. always hilarious to witness his drunken antics.
Happy New Year! Cheers!
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66 Elizabeth
December 27, 2011 at 6:42 AM
Why do I smell alcohol thru this whole page? Writer is drunk, readers writing comments are high but the pictures? Wow sure took a real alcoholic to remember all those drinking scenes.
Shd I call in alcoholic anonymous?
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Tim
December 30, 2012 at 5:51 PM
Do you have any idea what series the first screenshots are from?
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67 Zeffir
December 27, 2011 at 3:17 PM
it was a funny description! (even if you can't really make out of it which drama was atualy good and which not) I guess you should watch all of them to get the joke completly :)
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68 Momosuri
December 27, 2011 at 5:16 PM
Omo, omo,... this Santa is the naughty one... But I'm loving it!! Thanks for the fun reviews but still waiting for.... Ding Dong!!! That's what/who I want for X'mas....
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69 bluetsukky
December 27, 2011 at 6:15 PM
This santa is mean!! Haha. But continue doing it, you make us happy. ^^
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70 Abbie
December 27, 2011 at 7:04 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Santa you're awesome!
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71 ella zala
December 28, 2011 at 12:38 AM
dear santa, I love you
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72 Michelle F
December 28, 2011 at 10:10 AM
hahah I laughed so hard on the union joke.
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73 SoffeaRahim
December 30, 2011 at 9:48 AM
What’s Up: The usual. Reindeer up my ass about unfair wages, giving the elves bad ideas about workers’ “rights” and union power. I swear, another year of this labor fiddle-faddle and I’ll be outsourcing to Canadian Caribou and Arctic Oompaloompas.
High Kick 3: Counterattack of the Short Legs: Shhh! Don’t give the elves any bright ideas.
Warrior Baek Dong-soo: Hey, I deliver these action figures to little girls every year. They’re called Barbie.
Man of Honor: Not according to my naughty list.
Tree With Deep Roots: Mrs. Claus has a weed-killer that’ll take care of that problem.
Sign: If you leave signs, how will you get away with it? Murderers these days.
President: I prefer the term Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North.
White Christmas: This drama’s a sham. No Santa, no Christmas.
Can You Hear My Heart?: Well that’s a rude question to ask a deaf guy. And they call ME insensitive.
Protect the Boss: Aka Santa 101, the first required course for elves at North Pole U.
Myung-wol the Spy: First law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Never fall in love with the shifty South Pole-ian you were sent to kill.
Birdie Buddy: Second law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. No fraternizing with the waddling waterfowl.
Ojakkyo Brothers: Third law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Beware of ducks. The waddling bastards.
Thorn Birds: Fourth law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad: Enough with the birth secrets!
Crime Squad: I’ve been meaning to call these guys. I’m missing a reindeer muzzle and Rudolph has an alibi.
Hahaha the above are funny! :DD don't understand the others though. hee
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74 Tim
December 29, 2012 at 3:04 PM
Can anyone name the series in the screenshots.
Thanks
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