Running Man: Episode 222

by gummimochi

A little while ago in a galaxy far, far away, seven aliens climb aboard a spaceship to travel the universe. An emergency crash landing leaves them stranded on the third rock from the Sun and it’s up to them to figure out a way to return to their respective home planets. But just when they’ve joined forces, they’re told that they must eliminate the other kind of alien. Because this is Star Running Man, and the psychological battle of wits that takes place here is out of this world.

EPISODE 222. Broadcast on November 23, 2014.

Following a familiar Star War-esque opening crawl, the sky lights up as seven aliens make an emergency landing on the third rock from the sun. The first extraterrestrial is a conehead (Kwang-soo), who’s taken aback by the neighborhood dog and asks it: “Are you a human?”

HA, Haroro looks like Gary Oldman’s character from The Fifth Element, and Ji-hyo looks adorable in her purple hair. If you’ve ever imagined what a grasshopper alien would look like, Jae-suk shows us that insect aliens do exist. Elf-like alien Jong-kook wonders if the Earthen inhabitants receive otherworldly guests often, judging from how a neighborhood ajusshi barely gives him a second glance.

Our aliens receive an urgent message to find the R flag, and Haha unknowingly reverts to sageuk speech when he runs into his fellow alien. Haha wonders if Jong-kook’s in a cross-dressing get-up, and introduces himself as the aforementioned Gary Oldman. Our resident Gary calls himself “Gary-opatra.” Hahaha.

Everyone busts a gut at each other’s alienwear, then runs towards the flag. At the sight of Kwang-soo’s conehead, Haha wonders if he’s some spicy fish roe soup. Seeing as we haven’t caught a glimpse of Suk-jin yet, it must mean that his alien transformation is pretty epic…

Omg, it IS. Living up to his Big Nose name, he’s Shrek. Sure it’s more like an ogre than an alien, but still hilariously apt. Poor Gary gets teased for looking like a guy playing dress up than an alien, and then our aliens are told that they must complete various missions and obtain information in order to return to their home planet(s).

In the words of their fellow alien predecessor E.T., they acknowledge that living on Earth would be difficult. Kwang-soo: “E.T. is my grandfather.” Jae-suk: “Your grandfather’s a pollack roe.”

Our aliens decide that they need to taste the Earthen food here. Kwang-soo finds his “younger sibling” in a ripe persimmon, and it seems our extraterrestrials have adapted pretty quickly, judging from how Jae-suk calls the neighborhood ajumma the more affectionate “auntie.”

With that, everyone climbs into their Earthen spaceship (read: a van) and drive through the countryside to get to their first destination. Their first mission is Construct a Mystery Circle, where our aliens must find the put together the puzzle pieces scattered throughout the fields within the time limit. Catch is, they can only run along the field lines.

It’s pretty great how Jae-suk is known as Androme-dduk (since me-dduk is “grasshopper”), and Suk-jin is convinced that the large puzzle pieces will make the mission even harder. Ah, he’s thinking along the lines of a crop circle where you can only see the full design at a distance, but unable to see the full picture up close.

With that, our aliens scatter, and Haha tells Kwang-soo to use telepathy to communicate. It doesn’t work, and Haha has no idea what Kwang-soo is actually yelling about. Once the whistle blows, our aliens pick up their pieces one by one.

But they need to be strategic about their movements, since they’re restricted by the field lines, and poor Suk-jin gets lost and runs even further away from home base.

With just over a minute left on the clock, nearly everyone apart from Suk-jin is back and working at the puzzle. Although Suk-jin makes it back, they figure out the last puzzle piece just seconds too late.

Now they know what the final image looks like, and Haha takes it upon himself to delegate regions between everyone. That’s smart and efficient. Kwang-soo remarks that the sweat is collecting inside his conehead, which ew. Jae-suk makes sure to tell the viewers that the sun is in their eyes (and also wearing flashy outfits), hence their strained expressions.

Then they all turn to Kwang-soo who provides the most shade. Hahaha.

Then it’s time for Round 2 and Haha makes it back first with his puzzle pieces. He points to his literal eyes in the back of his head for being able to see anything, anywhere. Ji-hyo has trouble finding her second piece, but she finds it and now there’s less than 30 seconds on the clock.

With just seconds to spare, the aliens reassemble the mystery circle. Woot! Jong-kook complains that his pants don’t fit, giving us a quick flash of those trademark abs.

In any case, it’s on to their second mission. At the sight of a treadmill, Big Nose Shrek complains that he doesn’t exercise on his home planet either. The muscular elf alien looks right at home, and they’re told that they’ll be snacking in this mission without hands, per their usual way of eating.

Those words are met with offended looks: “When did we ever say that?” “What do you know about us aliens?”

It’s a relay game here where each person will be snacking off of the treadmill belt in turns. So when Gary places his foot on the belt, the others chime in to say that he’s put his foot on their table. All they have to do is eat a total of 100 chips.

Our aliens can’t get enough of Gary’s ajumma look, saying that he’s an ajumma who rides a motorcycle and that he’s way prettier now. LOL, our trusty Maknae FD will be providing the snacks. And you know that means he’s going to be devious and try to rile up our cast.

After getting some tips, Big Nose Shrek is first one at bat. Suk-jin’s feeling pretty confident at the start… and then totally misses the first volley because of his enlarged nose. Once Gary switches in, he catches a whole batch in his mouth. HA.

Gary’s got an approximate 30% accuracy rate, but that’s nothing compared to Haha, who scoops in chip after chip. There’s a huge wave that comes through during Ji-hyo’s turn, which they all consider is a bonus round.

Fairly accurate Jae-suk asks for “a bonus round” too—too bad he doesn’t catch any, though. For their first try, they eat a total of 53 out of 100.

Using their noggins for their second round, Jong-kook starts off by eating up 19 on his own. Gary and Ji-hyo carefully place the chips for their next competitor, and the others comment on how it looks like they’ve set up shop together. Gary: “If only we’d gotten along together sooner…”

Trying to get conehead Kwang-soo into position is like trying to direct a steel beam at a construction site. But the tactic works and Kwang-soo eats up 20 more. Haha sets himself up for small increments, but he miscalculates the speed and accidentally bites into the belt. That oughta hurt.

HA, Kwang-soo accidentally bumps his conehead into the camera, and although Jae-suk consumes a lot himself, he still has to hear a stern word from Jong-kook. “You could have eaten more! This is all for your benefit!” Jae-suk: “But I ate 19!”

Gary lends himself a leg pillow for Ji-hyo, who also puts a number on the board. And we take a moment to watch Gary put up his hair in a ponytail. He consumes a lot too, and the aliens succeed with 104 out of 100.

They receive a mysterious symbol that looks similar to an “@” sign, then move on. But Jong-kook says it’s the direction of that screw from earlier. Hmm.

We’re already at our final mission today, and Kwang-soo is told to climb into a van where a PD awaits. Oho, a spy mission, perhaps? He’s told that he’s a Martian and his mission is to eliminate the Venusians. Could he be the only Martian on this planet?

Nope—Haha’s a Martian too and given the same mission. Haha says he feels super burdened by the news and asks why they couldn’t ask him to do this next week because he doesn’t feel prepared.

Seeing Jae-suk receive the same mission has me thinking that everyone has got the same mission. Well everyone apart from Jong-kook, that is. As the sole Venusian, it’s his job to take out the Martians. Mars vs. Venus it is, then.

No one know what each other’s identities are, but Ji-hyo knows that any team that’s got Jong-kook on their side has the advantage. Jong-kook deduces that their identities has something to do with their clues.

Despite promising Jae-suk that he won’t dare betray him this time, Kwang-soo walks up behind Jae-suk anyway. He gets caught, however, and Jae-suk knows better than to turn his back towards Kwang-soo for too long. Over and over and over again. Heh.

Gary’s a pretty terrible liar when it comes to talking about what he heard from the production crew (but let’s be honest—I’ve always found that quality about him to be endearing). But Haha catches him giving him a sneaky glance, and so the two walk down the road hand-in-hand.

Jong-kook racks his brains trying to figure out the Martian: Venusian ratio out there (since he wasn’t told that he’s the only one from Venus). Up on the rooftop, he observes the other aliens chasing each other around, all unable to trust one another. They’ve all got their eyes on the grasshopper alien, and Jong-kook chuckles that watching this show is fun.

Everyone’s faces turn into shock when Jae-suk’s nametag is ripped off and they find out that he’s a Martian. None of them can really let their surprise show, lest there be a Venusian around them, though kudos to Haha for trying to gauge everyone’s reactions.

Something feels off, but none of them can put their thumbs on it. All they know is that one of their own has fallen, though the Martians don’t know how many of them are left.

When Haha asks outright whether Jong-kook’s a Venusian or not, Jong-kook honestly replies that yes, he is. With one Martian down and one possible Venusian, everyone is left perplexed. Jong-kook’s confidence actually pays off because no one will believe him, and none of them know what to do next.

And then Jong-kook jumps down for an aerial attack. Whoa. The distraction allows Gary to eliminate Haha, and the look on his face is utterly priceless—it’s as if he betrayed his own. Which… you know he did, but still. Hahaha.

At this rate, Jong-kook won’t have to even lift a finger, and Kwang-soo tries to his best to persuade him: If two Martians are already eliminated, wouldn’t that increase the chances that they’re on the same side? But Jong-kook is already ready to tackle this battle on his own. He’s okay with the idea of Kwang-soo being eliminated, even if the latter is a Venusian. Ha.

A light bulb pops over Suk-jin’s head—maybe everyone’s a Martian, and this is a game of trust. He shares the idea with Ji-hyo, who nods along and asks if he is a Martian. “What about you?” he asks.

So when Kwang-soo and Gary approach, Ji-hyo shares the notion with the class. Kwang-soo offers to make a pact—not to attack one another until they find out more about Jong-kook—and when they all come together to pinky-swear on it, Kwang-soo grabs Suk-jin’s nametag.

There’s a bit of struggle, but Suk-jin is eliminated in the end, leaving Ji-hyo to deal with the two dunces, telling them that the everyone-is-a-Martian theory is right.

Kwang-soo is dead set on the idea of taking Jong-kook out, which has Ji-hyo wondering if he’s the Venusian they’re looking for. Kwang-soo proclaims his innocence while Gary won’t say either way, and just watching them go in circles around the topic is downright hilarious.

Thinking about the clues, Gary wonders if the screw is Kwang-soo’s head (Kwang-soo: “My head’s a persimmon!”) and the swirl represents his life (i.e. everything going wrong). Hahahaha.

Anyhow, they’ve got fifteen minutes left before time is over, and Jong-kook starts conversation with Gary. Seeing everyone gathered nearby, it’s now that Jong-kook realizes that everyone else might be a Martian after all.

Which would make this a 3:1 battle. Ji-hyo gets annoyed when Kwang-soo tries to eliminate her after she gets a bug bite. But then when he goes to apologize, Gary sneaks up behind him. Off comes the nametag and more astonished looks.

Gary can’t really remember what he is now, and there’s only ten minutes left on the clock. Ji-hyo says they have to crack their clues and Jong-kook says it’s a standard slotted screw, which might mean there’s only one Venusian.

As for the swirly-looking character, it’s the numeral “1” in Thai. And Jong-kook chuckles, saying that he’s been telling the truth from the start.

Neither Gary nor Ji-hyo can hardly believe it, and Gary says he doesn’t know why he eliminated everyone else. Aww. Cut to: the eliminated in jail, where Kwang-soo jokes that Suk-jin is thinking of handing over his “Race Starter” status to Jae-suk.

Jong-kook turns to the production staff, yelling that they made the “geum” reference way too obvious: his surname is Kim, they gave him blond hair, and he’s a Venusian. Then he realizes that he’s never actually lifted a finger this whole time.

The Monday Couple approaches Jong-kook, and the three spin around, all trying to grab each other’s nametags. Ji-hyo’s the one to eliminate Jong-kook, giving her the sole win. Gary: “What about me?!”

At the closing, the others complain that the instructions weren’t clear: “Next time, just tell us, ‘Eliminate Jong-kook’!” They all point the finger of mistrust at each other, and then Jong-kook steps up to lecture all of them that HE was being truthful.

Ji-hyo is presented with Earthen gold and a choice: either stay here and claim her reward or return to her home planet. Even if this entire episode is a theme, I don’t see why this is a choice at all. Aha, there’s a catch: If she chooses to stay, she has to go home in her alien wardrobe.

Not only that, she’d have to go and take a selca while eating dinner at the nearest rest area AND when she gets home. Oh man, that’s pretty great. Jae-suk claims that he could sleep in this outfit if it meant keeping the gold, and Kwang-soo says he’d even wear the conehead next week, too.

Ji-hyo chooses to stay on Earth, alien wardrobe be damned. And sure enough, Ji-hyo takes that selfie with Gary one hour later. In fact, she takes a whole bunch and looks pretty adorable in them. Welcome home.

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