Plus Nine Boys: Episode 13

by girlfriday

It’s an entire episode built around the Peterpan Complex song “Swallow My Feelings” (posted below), about the things that our boys have to endure because they love that one special girl. The song goes: “Because I love you I have a hard time / Because I love you I hurt / Because I love you I get greedy / Because I can’t express it I swallow my feelings.” With one episode left to go before the finale, our boys face their relationships’ greatest challenges, and find that the toughest choices are still ahead.

 
SONG OF THE DAY

Peterpan Complex – “감정을 삼키고” (Swallow My Feelings) [ Download ]

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Track 13: “Because I love you”

Kwang-soo plays happily with Da-in’s daughter Eun-seo in the playground, and even Da-in looks on with a smile. But when she starts to think about what Mom said, it worries her and she tries to take Eun-seo home.

The little girl just holds on tightly to Kwang-soo’s hand, not wanting to stop the fun, so he says they’ll play just a little more. That’s of course right when Mom comes out of the building and sees them together, and has a conniption about it.

A montage of all our boys brings us to Kwang-soo’s narration: “The reason that we can endure the difficult and heartbreaking times is because we love that person.”

Jin-gu goes to work in the morning and rides the elevator up with two guys discussing Se-young’s new hotness. They egg each other on to ask her out, and Jin-gu stews silently behind them.

He gets to his desk and exchanges cute smiles with Se-young, but then he’s soon hit with more annoyance when their coworker tries to get Se-young to go on a date with a doctor friend of his. The gossipy coworker even rubs it in that the doctor would be a catch, purposely giving Jin-gu the side-eye.

Se-young tries to politely decline, but then the coworker decides that she must be dating that “Dummy” from their group chat the other morning. The whole time, Jin-gu looks like his pants are on fire, and then he suddenly bolts up and says, “I’m that Dummy!” Pffft. Also, d’oh. Se-young asked you to keep it a secret and Go-eun is sitting right there, you dummy.

He gets a stairwell beatdown for his public declaration, and Se-young complains that the rumor mill will spin their story and spit her out in no time. Jin-gu thinks it was necessary to keep the wolves from circling, and says he has a mind to take out an ad in the newspaper announcing that they’re dating.

He knows that she’s worried about office romance rumors dogging her if they break up, but assures her that she needn’t worry because they’ll never break up: “You are my last girlfriend!” She scoffs, too mad at him and too concerned for Go-eun to focus on their romance.

Jin-gu runs into Go-eun by the copy machine and tries to get her to have a cup of coffee with him, but she turns him down glumly. At their staff meeting a little later, Go-eun is so lost in thought that she has to be prodded to present her winter tour ideas, and she ends up bursting into tears in front of everyone when she gets to the part about a tour for couples.

Se-young cautiously approaches her in the bathroom, but doesn’t know what to do to comfort Go-eun, who’s sobbing by now. Se-young says that she’s sorry, and Go-eun admits that it’s harder because it’s Se-young—if it were anyone else, she’d just hate that other girl freely.

Go-eun reminds Se-young that she said to her face that she didn’t like Jin-gu, and Se-young literally has nothing to say to that and sheds a tear knowing that she hurt her friend.

Su-ah comes out of class and looks around for Min-gu, but he isn’t here today. She walks down the street dejectedly on her own, remembering how pissy he’d gotten after the movie theater incident and how she’d called him out for his immaturity. Maybe it was too much for him to take?

But Min-gu shows up after all, and starts walking behind her for a while. He calls out “Bong-sook-ah!” and she can’t help but smile to see him here. He says that he thought long and hard about the things that she said to him the other day, and throws an arm around her. He says that he’s going to become the kind of boyfriend that she can lean on, and tells her to be completely honest with him from now on. Aw, he’s growing up!

As they walk along, he throws her one of his patented cheesy lines—isn’t she tired from running around in his dreams all night—and she straight-up tells him it’s corny. He’s a little shell-shocked at that, but she reminds him that they agreed to be totally honest from now on. Heh.

He takes her to the PC bang to meet his friends, and gets sucked into a game of Starcraft with them. At first Su-ah sighs at having to wait around, but when one of his friends has a bathroom emergency and asks her to just hold his place for him, her fingers start to twitch like a game addict, and suddenly she’s playing like a pro.

Their jaws drop as she basically wins the game for them, and Min-gu storms out in a huff. Su-ah guesses that he’s mad again, and at first he pretends that it’s just because she high-fived his friends, but his real concern is how she got so good at that game. She swore to be honest so she says she learned it from some oppas, and Min-gu’s face wrinkles up, “Oppas…?”

Now he’s the one being dishonest, because he swears that he’s fine and not mad, and that her past doesn’t bother him at all. But she’s seen this reaction from him enough to know that it really does bother him. She sighs that this is what she was afraid of and why she was so scared the whole time they were dating—that if he found out about the real her, he wouldn’t like her.

Su-ah says that that’s exactly what happened, and when he denies it, she’s the first to say it: “The person you like isn’t the real me.” She unties the bracelet he gave her and puts it in his hand, and walks away with tears streaming down her face. He calls after her, but doesn’t follow.

The next morning, Kwang-soo looks everywhere for his keys, and catches Mom red-handed as she tries to sneak the child’s car seat into the house. Haha, when he asks her what she’s doing, she sits in it to act like she wants it for herself.

She complains that people will misunderstand that he’s a father, and Kwang-soo says that he is—Eun-seo is his daughter. Mom stands there in shock, but then it only takes her a moment to do the math on her fingers, and she snap at him for trying to fool her. He sighs when she doesn’t fall for it and says that he thinks of her as his daughter, which is the same difference.

Mom counters that Da-in doesn’t want that, which Kwang-soo realizes means that Mom went to go see Da-in. He fumes, calling her makjang, and asks why she didn’t slide over an envelope of money too. He tells her to stop meddling in his business and rushes up to Da-in’s apartment.

He frets over what to say to her about his sister, but Da-in and Eun-seo just come out with smiles on their faces, dressed up for their date and ready to go. When he brings up Mom’s visit, Da-in just says pleasantly that she brought up food, and says she has somewhere she wants to go today.

They head to the mall, where Da-in has fun picking out clothes for Kwang-soo. He tries on an outfit and declares that it fits perfectly… and then the camera pans down to his feet where the pants have gathered in layers around his ankles.

All day he ignores calls and tells Da-in that it’s just spam, but while he’s playing with Eun-seo, she sees that it’s Mom calling and it weighs on her.

At the end of their workday, Se-young gets slammed with a giant stack of things to do by her boss, who snidely tells her to stay late with her boyfriend since they’ve been dating on company time anyway. No wonder she wanted to keep her relationship a secret. Geez.

Jin-gu tries to lighten her mood with snuggles as they work late, and at first Se-young is too miffed to reciprocate, but their playful arguing brings her around. A few hours later, they’re cuddling more than working, and Jin-gu says they should order chicken. That brings up memories of the last time Se-young and Jae-bum brought him chicken when he was working late, and it brings the mood down again. Jin-gu decides to just finish the work at home on his own, and they head out to eat.

They go to Han Gu’s chicken place, but that’s where Jae-bum happens to be drinking himself into a depressing stupor. Jin-gu goes over there to try and talk to him, but Jae-bum rebuffs him coldly, stumbling over to catch a taxi. He stops to note how fun it must’ve been for Jin-gu to belittle him while listening to his one-sided-crush woes, and takes off.

Jin-gu tries extra hard to stay chipper as he walks Se-young home, but she can’t hide how she’s feeling, and eventually cries. She asks how long it’ll be this way—she feels so bad about hurting Jae-bum and Go-eun that she can’t think about anything else.

Jin-gu wipes her tears away (What is it about the way he does that with the back of his finger that makes me swoon?) and decides that he’ll go after seeing her fall asleep. She says she’s okay, but he insists that he won’t be able to sleep tonight if he sends her home like this. So he tucks her into bed and sits by her bedside until she falls asleep.

Da-in invites Kwang-soo over to her place for dinner, which has him excited but nervous, since this is his first time being invited in. She watches him play with Eun-seo and happily prepares dinner for them, and they share a nice homey meal.

Kwang-soo gets a little too excited when Eun-seo goes to bed and they’re all alone, and when Da-in asks if he’s tired, he blurts like a giant spaz: “No, I’m not tired! I’m healthy!” She suggests they go out for a walk, and he visibly deflates but agrees with a smile.

Outside, Da-in tells him that she had a lot of fun today, and that she’ll always remember it. Uh-oh, that’s starting to sound like a goodbye. Kwang-soo catches on that there’s something going on with her, and guesses that it’s because of what his sister said. He tells her not to concern herself with that, because he’ll win that fight in the end.

She admits that the more time they spend together, the more she starts to get greedy where he’s concerned, and Kwang-soo is happy to hear that, thinking that to him, all her worries just sound to him like declarations of love. He takes her hand and says that it took this long to hold her hand again, so he won’t let go this time.

In his room, Kwang-soo contemplates the couple rings (engagement rings?) with a long pause, and texts Da-in to meet him at the café where they first met, because he has something he’s been wanting to give her for a long time. She buries her head in her knees, and I’m seriously terrified for him that he’s going to propose and get rejected again.

Min-gu packs his judo uniform that night and tries calling Su-ah. She doesn’t pick up, so he texts her to ask if she’ll come to his match tomorrow, adding a cute “noona” to his request. At breakfast the next morning, there’s still no response from her, and instead Mom texts him a talisman for good luck.

Kwang-soo complains about her superstitions, but this time Jin-gu asks Mom for a talisman too, figuring that extra good luck couldn’t hurt right about now. Mom says she has to take Dong-gu to an audition today so she’ll miss Min-gu’s competition, and he snaps it’s fine. He clearly cares more about whether Su-ah will show, and narrates that being cheered on by the person you love is a true talisman.

At the movie audition, Dong-gu and his rival Do Min-joon have to act side-by-side in a scene with Baek-ji, where they plead with her not to go away. At first Dong-gu has his usual stiff line delivery while Min-joon easily cries.

But then Dong-gu starts to see this situation as real—as Baek-ji leaving him for Min-joon—and suddenly he’s utterly sincere and heartbreaking, crying on his knees for her not to leave him. Augh, when this kid is good, he’s REALLY good.

Still, it’s not enough for him to get the part, and he watches as Baek-ji and Min-joon go off holding hands, happy to be costars. Dong-gu wails on Mom’s shoulder, and narrates: “I didn’t get the leading role, but somehow, I think I get the secret behind tears now.”

Min-gu stares at his phone all day with a long face and prepares for his competition. His coach reminds him to focus because this is his last chance to get into college, but he’s clearly distracted by the fact that Su-ah isn’t here.

He tries to calm his nerves, but then his friends notice first as Su-ah makes her way through the stands. She doesn’t look especially happy to be there but flashes Min-gu a supportive smile, and he beams.

Kwang-soo waits at the café with rings and a bouquet of flowers, and his nervous anticipation is making my stomach turn, because I’m convinced Da-in won’t show. Sure enough, she’s sitting at home with her friend, deciding that right now is suddenly a good time to clean every single one of her dishes.

Her friend points out how silly she’s being and asks why she isn’t going to meet Kwang-soo, and Da-in admits that she feels bad because being with her means that Kwang-soo misses a chance to meet a better woman—someone who’s never been married. Her friend sees right through her and calls her out for being a noble idiot, which only proves to her that Da-in is in love with him.

The friend asks rightly what’s so terrible about being divorced—it’s not a crime, and her leaving Kwang-soo in the lurch is more hurtful than any damage she might do by being with him. Finally, someone who talks some sense.

Da-in gets dressed up and heads out to go meet Kwang-soo, but on her way out of the building, she happens to run into Mom, who greets her pleasantly and reminds her obliquely about her request (not to see Kwang-soo) the other day.

Da-in waits at the bus stop with a heavy heart, and each time that a new bus stops in front of her, she can’t bring herself to get on. She eventually bursts into tears right there.

Kwang-soo waits and waits until it gets dark, and he finally tries calling, but she doesn’t pick up. All he gets is a text: “I’m sorry, oppa.” Ugh. He grabs the ring box and bolts out of there.

That night, Se-young says she has plans with a friend, so Jin-gu leaves work with a pout. He passes by a food stand that reminds him of a beachside date he had with Se-young and decides to pick up some food to surprise her.

But when he gets to her place, he finds her standing outside with Jae-bum. His face falls, especially when he hears Jae-bum asking her to think about “it” carefully. But this time he doesn’t back away and approaches.

Jae-bum ignores Jin-gu’s request to talk, so Jin-gu runs after him to apologize again. He says that he had a hard time ever since finding out about Jae-bum’s crush, but his feelings for Se-young were sincere too, so he didn’t know what else to do.

Jae-bum says through gritted teeth for him to stop, asking if Jin-gu doesn’t see how much he’s holding back right now. Jae-bum: “I’m holding it in because it happens to be you. I don’t know when you started liking Se-young, but I was sincere about her for a long time too.”

Jin-gu confronts him with burdening Se-young like this, calling Jae-bum less of a man, and at that, Jae-bum pushes him up against the wall. Suddenly Se-young calls out for them to stop: “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. So let’s end this, all of us.” She goes in, leaving both boys floored.

In closing voiceovers, the boys quote the song “Swallow My Feelings.” Jin-gu: “We love so much that we have a hard time.” Kwang-soo runs through the streets calling Da-in, who’s still crying at the bus stop. Kwang-soo: “We love so much that we hurt.”

Min-gu gets ready for his match, and Su-ah looks back at him with a conflicted expression on her face. Min-gu: “We love so much that we swallow our feelings.”

Jin-gu races up to Se-young’s door, but she shakes him off and goes inside. The door slams behind her, leaving him standing outside in shock. Jin-gu: “And like that, our loves always flow toward an unknowable end…”

 
COMMENTS

I’m not a fan of the way Jae-bum is reacting to Jin-gu and Se-young’s relationship, though I think he just needs some time to get over his own heartbreak. Jin-gu isn’t exactly helping matters either, since he’s being just as petulant when he should be bending over backwards to be sensitive to his friend. You already got the girl; is jealousy really your foremost reaction in this situation? I suppose Se-young is the other extreme, ending her relationship because it’s hurting too many people. I’m not too worried for this couple though, because we’ve devoted so much to their development that I feel like they have a solid foundation. In contrast, Min-gu’s relationship already feels over in this episode, though I won’t count him out until he makes one last big effort to win Su-ah back.

I’m not sure what I want for Kwang-soo, since I don’t want him to go catatonic from rejection again, but I also don’t know if Da-in is good for him because I don’t understand her as a person. Okay, I understand her; maybe I just disagree with her. She’s basically a noble idiot in ALL THINGS, and it’s so frustrating to watch her give up her own happiness repeatedly because she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. In the end what she’s doing is crueler than any hardship Kwang-soo might face by dating her. I honestly think that if she didn’t have that one friend, I would’ve given up on her ages ago. For Kwang-soo’s sake, I hope that he can talk some sense into her and get her to gather up some courage for once in her life, or at least come to terms with the fact that he gave it his all and that he deserves to be happy.

I was most moved by Dong-gu’s breakthrough in this episode, despite the fact that he didn’t get very much screen time in the series and his character has been mostly comic relief until now. But I like that he didn’t learn how to act from a school, but just experienced his first true hardship in life and finally came to understand that sincerity is what moves you to tears. I was surprised by his epiphany, which was made all the more poignant by the fact that he doesn’t get the role or the girl. I know it’s possible that we won’t get three happy endings for the other boys tomorrow, in which case I hope that some of them come to similar conclusions about growing up and learning something important about themselves in the process.

I actually don’t mind that we’re ending the series with the next episode, because it feels like we’ve milked everyone’s central conflicts. Plus Nine Boys may have begun as a high-concept show about four cursed boys, but it’s essentially a one-conflict show expressed in three (and a half for little Dong-gu) ways—will they or won’t they find a lasting love? In hindsight, I do wish the show had been more complex, and that our boys had actually been unluckier throughout, because it seemed like their curse kind of fizzled out after the setup.

Obviously once they’re in relationships the couples’ interaction takes center stage, but I do think the drama’s strength was in its pining-from-afar stage. That sense of longing is probably the thing I’ll remember most. That and the music, of course, which is easily the show’s best achievement. I could just picture the PD sitting there, lovingly building this mixtape episode by episode, song by song. The show often felt like a music video, in good and bad ways—sometimes it emphasized mood over story and left a lot unspoken or underdeveloped, but then every bus ride, walk home, or exchange of glances felt different because of the songs chosen.

And though I often didn’t understand characters’ motivations (cough, Da-in, cough), I did feel their feelings because the music took me there. I suppose it could be seen as a crutch for faulty writing, but in a positive light it’s something that elevated a rather simple show, and left a lasting impression. I guess we really don’t know who’ll be unlucky in love till the very end, but that makes me eager for the conclusion, where our boys will finally have to put actions to words and show what it is they’re willing to do in the name of love.

 
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