Running Man: Episode 209

by gummimochi

The past meets present in this Triangle Mystery where ajusshi-dols go head to head against some of the popular idols of today. Get ready for ninety minutes of reminiscing about old times, rolling around in the mud, and flying through the air, as our teams duke it out to solve the mystery and escape this world of endless triangles. Even without the constant Kpop references, which are a-plenty in this episode, there’s enough hilarity to entertain you by the end.

EPISODE 209. Broadcast on August 17, 2014.

It’s an Idol Extravaganza today as we’re introduced to our guests right off the bat:

• New Idols (led by Haha): Taemin (SHINee), Soyou (SISTAR), Kai and Sehun (EXO);
• Original Idols (led by Jong-kook): Moon Hee-jun (H.O.T.), Eun Ji-won (Sechskies), Danny Ahn (g.o.d.), and Chun Myung-hoon (NRG);

After their respective dance intros, Taemin is asked to show off his popping moves again (“It’s as if you’re suddenly surprised!”), which the cast immediately imitates. Not with the same kind of finesse as dancing machine Taemin, of course.

Danny seems frozen in shock from the hydraulics stage lift, and man, I just realized that Turbo’s “Black Cat” was released nineteen years ago (1995). Coming close is the iconic H.O.T. hit “Candy” (1996), which gets everyone dancing. Ah, nostalgia—these songs will never get old for me.

Hee-jun’s still got the moves, including the power-racer butt dance which still looks painful. Nowadays, these four original idols have come together as a project group (HJgR, which also included another former H.O.T. member, Tony An) composed from their idol group names of yore. You can count on these guys to know everything about variety and the entertainment industry like the backs of their hands.

Unsurprisingly, their physical stamina isn’t like what it used to be, as they huff and puff off the stage. At the criticism for not jumping straight up onto the stage like the young’uns, Jong-kook defends that in their day, they had to jump forward. Jae-suk: “Then all of you should have done that.”

Jong-kook is quick to point out other stage names from yesteryear, like Haha (Jikiri, a three-member boyband from 2001 that later disbanded) and Gary (X-Teen, a hiphop group which also included LeeSsang member Gil). Speak for yourself bandana-wearing Spartakooks, heh.

Hee-jun explains how his stylist had to do a literal patch job to assemble his wardrobe today. He couldn’t get actual goggles in time either, so he had to cut and paste a pair on a visor. “Wouldn’t SM Entertainment at least have bought these goggles [for us]?!”

Ji-won defends that his shirt is the standard one that office workers wear, adding that you can see his undershirt (or “running shirts” in Korean) in this. Hee-jun tries to play off the pun, saying that he can wear a running shirt on this show, only to take it back moments later.

He bursts, “If you dress me like this, then my jokes are from the nineties too!” He’s still better dressed than Myung-hoon, who I think actually came wearing PJs.

Our remaining Running Idols (Jae-suk, Suk-jin, Kwang-soo, Monday Couple) make up the third team. Our three teams will engage in a Triangle Mystery Race, and the first team to solve the mystery and escape the locked gates will be today’s winners.

At the mention of triangles, Haha throws in a corny joke about triangular kimbap. He claims it was an attempt to make the Original Idols’ cheesy humor look better, but they snap back at him instead. “Even I wouldn’t have made that joke!” “I’m done for and never appear on this show again if I respond to that joke!”

The first-generation idols reminisce about old times, and Jong-kook motions to Hee-jun to illustrate how those difficult times have affected them. Hee-jun doesn’t miss a beat, though: “I was so tired back then, that I keep swelling up. This won’t come off!”

He’s surprised when health nut Jong-kook advises him to eat more (healthy) food. “You want me to eat more food?!”

Ha, Hee-jun still has those cut-out goggles stuck on his shirt, which he claims it’s because his stylist thought it’d be a pity to only have them only for the opening. When Jae-suk wonders just how all of them appeared together today (since some of their groups were rivals back in the day) Ji-won answers that they come when Jong-kook calls them.

It’s because Jong-kook is the senior sunbae out of this bunch (since Turbo debuted in 1995). Even Hee-jun, who’s been in the industry for 18 years now, is still considered his hoobae. All those years dancing and jumping have eventually caught up with these ajusshi-dols (Ajusshi Idols or A-dols): take Ji-won for instance, whose shoulder pain he claims is a result from long-term popping moves.

So then the first-generation idols are quick to advise Taemin that this paiiiiinnnn is what awaits him a decade or so from now. And Hee-jun adds, “In 18 years’ time, you could end up round-faced like me!” Omg, I kinda love how these ajusshi-dols are relentlessly teasing the youngsters about what their futures might look like.

The first game is a version of water basketball where the teams will score points by shooting the ball to their respective teammates standing on the center platform. However, if the ball is caught by a different team, the point goes to the catcher’s team (e.g., if Soyou catches a ball thrown by Jong-kook, the New Idols get a point).

Nearly everyone in Haha’s lineup admits to their lack of basketball skills (Soyou asks Haha: “Do you know how to play?”) When Danny realizes that the catcher’s job is the most important, Jae-suk counters that they just need to do whatever Jong-kook tells them to do.

The ajusshi-dols are the only ones not brainstorming (Danny: “Let’s at least pretend that we’re talking,”) if only because they’re afraid of Jong-kook as much as anyone else. They’re reluctant about getting into the pool too, and I love how Danny cries over how he got his hair all spiffy at the salon this morning.

Hee-jun yelps when he gets in, surprised at seeing the water come up to his chest, “I didn’t know that I’d be shorter than I thought!” Ji-won isn’t afraid to pull rank against his hoobaes, ordering them back to the starting point. They’re all grumpy already, and it’s hilarious.

Haha gets possession of the ball, but it slips out of Soyou’s hands. A little later, Suk-jin throws it towards Ji-hyo and capsizes moments later. The ball still out in the open, Jong-kook grabs it and Kwang-soo tries to beat it out of his arms.

It’s utter chaos out in the pool by now, and Hee-jun remarks that this game is more like rugby instead of basketball. Jong-kook’s trying to fight off seven people by now, telling them NOT to pull down his pants. The ball bounces off a couple more times and slips through more fingers, while Hee-jun desperately asks the girls that they don’t resort to pushing ’cause slipping scares him.

Danny eventually gets ahold of the ball, getting just enough time to throw it before he gets overturned. Too bad Hee-jun falls in while trying to grab it, but it doesn’t matter since the ball flies out anyway.

Thanks to some brisk passes, Hee-jun grabs the ball by the tips of his fingers, but it slips and so does he. It’s nice that the ladies help him back up each time he falls in. After another chaotic minute, Myung-hoon gets another chance to shoot… and it ends up in Soyou’s arms. Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad’ from Jong-kook.

Aw seeing those Love Letter clips again remind me of Myung-hoon’s heodang status which still follows him today. Jong-kook throws Myung-hoon off, then lashes out at Hee-jun: “Get down from there, you fatty!”

Hee-jun gets visibly upset by that and yells that his mother’s watching this broadcast. He refuses to move, sitting there like a petulant child. “Even yo-yo [dieting] is better than that!” Aw, I can’t say that I blame him—not everyone can look like Jong-kook twenty years in the biz.

Jong-kook defends that it’s an adorable nickname, but Hee-jun is still upset: “I don’t have to be cute, so don’t call me that!” So they settle for Moon Yo-yo instead.

In the second round, Soyou knocks her opponents off but still fails to catch the ball. Ji-won comes close, and in another end of the pool, Haha is caught behind his platform.

There’s no such thing as rules anymore, as everyone pushes each other out of the way left and right. OMG, did Hee-jun just BITE Haha’s butt? Like chomp down on it? He apologizes, but it’s clear that this game is quickly getting out of hand.

A little later, Ji-hyo gains possession and throws the ball. It lands in Soyou’s arms again giving her team another point and the win, just as Kwang-soo falls into the pool. From this angle, it looks like Jong-kook gave him a little push, but Soyou still feels sorry and gives Kwang-soo an apologetic hug.

Myung-hoon gets in more hot water by acknowledging Jong-kook’s foul, but to his luck, the remaining teams duke it out for second and third place. Tae-min has initial possession, which Hee-jun—as his SM sunbae—uses to his advantage: “I’m Kangta’s hyung! I’ll call him to make sure you get paid on time!” (H.O.T’s Kangta is currently a creative director at SM Entertainment.)

The match itself wraps up as quickly as it begins, as Kwang-soo catches the ball in less than a minute. And so, the New Idols gain two hints, and the Running Idols pick up one.

I like how the show’s playing all of the ajusshi-dol’s hit singles today, and Hee-jun is sporting perfectly dried hair again when everyone regroups shortly afterwards. He gets annoyed at the mention of how the ajusshi-dols were once physically fit, too. “Let’s not talk about the past! Don’t you see we’re still alive and kicking?!”

Then Jae-suk shares a funny story how Suk-jin and his facial misting spray: Big Nose Hyung had closed his eyes waiting for the spray… and Jae-suk spit-sprayed into his face instead. Hahaha, and also ewww.

Their second game is a 1:1:1 nametag-ripping-wrestling match, and the teams will choose between three different elements: water, sand, and mud. And as luck would have it, their first match will take place in the mud. Our competitors: Kai vs. Suk-jin vs. Hee-jun.

Jong-kook and Haha issue different strategies to their teammates, which basically boil down to power vs. deceit. Hahaha, how apt. Suk-jin’s feeling pretty confident at the start and tells maknae Kai to take a break while he’ll give Hee-jun a mud shower.

Hee-jun grabs hold of Suk-jin’s nametag, but the mat-hyung is faster, to everyone’s surprise. Suk-jin isn’t going to go easy on the idol either, and then they both fall into the mud. Who will eliminate the other first?

It’s Kai who comes out victorious; he adorably slips from the mud, but plays it off. With the New Idols advancing to the finals, the remaining two teams decide to duke it out in the mud. In this all-kill elimination round, the first to hit the mud on their backs will lose.

Jong-kook and Jae-suk are up first, and as expected, Jong-kook lifts the Grasshopper up as soon as the whistle blows. Then he dips Jae-suk’s head into the mud. Once, twice, then for a third before finally letting go. HAHAHA.

Jae-suk is told to use a nearby water hose to wash off, but that’ll do little to erase the embarrassment he’s just faced. “Who will wipe off the mud from my heart?!” Enraged, Jae-suk throws himself into the mud pit, only to go for another dip when the water hose doesn’t work. Oh man, his ragequit is both sad and hilarious.

Gary is Jong-kook’s second victim as he’s dropped into the mud. I doubt that trickling water hose does much, but on the bright side: it’s top-quality mud, so it’s good for your skin?

Suk-jin has fun talking a big game before the start, so Jong-kook gives him an upgraded mud shower, dipping Suk-jin’s head into the mud and swirling it around like a paintbrush. Jae-suk offers to wash him off and gives him another spit-spray. Ha.

Jong-kook lifts Kwang-soo up from the water, but our Giraffe manages to use his long legs to his advantage, wrapping one around Jong-kook’s. He lets gravity do most of the work as they topple over, but it’s Kwang-soo who falls face-first into the mud.

Neither one of them has fallen on their backs, so the match continues. Kwang-soo gives Jong-kook a wedgie (owww) before getting thrown into the mud face-first over and over and over again. Kwang-soo puts up a good fight until he finally gives in.

Last up is Ji-hyo, and the rules are reversed in this match (i.e., first to go down on their back wins). Ji-hyo holds on and punches Jong-kook in the chest before she bites down on his pec. Owwww. That has got to hurt, but it works in her favor.

She calls out Hee-jun next, and he doesn’t let her fall down that easily. He calls her pretty, which sparks Monday Boyfriend Gary’s jealousy, and then Hee-jun falls down first. With that, his team advances and when Hee-jun gives Ji-hyo a little hug, Gary flies down into the pit.

So it’s the New Idols vs. Original Idols in the finals, which will take place in the sand pit. Danny and Kai are up first, and though Kai goes in for the initial attack, he’s the one taken down. Guess they weren’t kidding about Danny’s wrestling skills from Dream Team.

Our two MCs Jong-kook and Jae-suk bicker back and forth per usual, like how Jong-kook says he was always wrestling in his spare time at school. Jae-suk throws back: “That’s probably because you found it fun!” Haha: “Because you’d win! You’d win!”

Danny is up against Taemin next, and both keep a low center of gravity. Suddenly Danny goes in for the charge, but Taemin stands firm. He holds out for another few attacks, but then Danny lifts his leg and sends Taemin into the sand. Whoa.

The Original Idols pick up two hints thanks to Danny’s victories, then it’s time to move to the next location. And yes, Hee-jun washed his hair again. Heh.

After discussing at length how all the idols, both young and old, are afraid of Jong-kook, the cast takes a minute to promote Taemin’s solo single “Danger.” Hee-jun is genuinely impressed by his hoobae’s dance skills, and tells him how he’s glad that Taemin’s first solo isn’t a rock song, unlike himself. Aww, but I liked your rock singles!

It turns out that Taemin and Kai have been friends since they were trainees. Jae-suk says their story was so moving that his soup was salty from his tears. Lol. Danny says at least the young’uns got to eat prior to their debut, and Hee-jun turns that line into a comedic moment: “I’ve eaten too much.”

Nearly everyone is sopping wet prior to their third game: a pebble game. One team member from each team will be given a pebble to reveal (or not). Then each person will guess the total number of pebbles in all their hands from 0 to 3, and the teams that guess wrong will go flying into the pool.

It’s a battle of wits between the three teams—in the first round, after Haha and Ji-hyo makes their guesses, Ji-won contemplates between 0 and 3. He chooses 0, and now it’s time to show their hands.

Ji-hyo win with her correct guess of 1, which means Kai and Jong-kook go flying. She’s the first to guess in the second round of 2, and those guesses are followed by 3 (Ji-won) and 1 (Haha). It’s 2, and Ji-hyo wins again.

Ji-hyo guesses correctly again for the third time in a row, leaving everyone amazed. She takes a minute to contemplate before making another guess, which prompts Ji-won to ask if she can just tell with her eyes.

She guesses 3, which gives her away for holding onto a pebble of her own. Hee-jun broadcasts that this means it has to be higher than 1, and everyone’s like, Well, duh. Ji-won guesses 2, which forces Haha to choose 1.

Now’s the moment of truth, and this time it’s Ji-won who guesses correctly. They discover the pebble on his lap, though, and the cast argues to review the tapes. Sure enough, Ji-won had thrown the rock into his lap just before showing his hand.

In the end, the Running Idols get the win, all thanks to the all-knowing (or extremely lucky) Ji-hyo.

Our teams gather together again for their final mission, where they’ll solve the Triangle mystery and escape the locked gates once and for all. The hint count: New Idols (3); Running Idols (3); and Original Idols (2). And the complete puzzle: Escape by making nine triangles using five dots and seven lines.

Using their noggins for puzzles is the cast’s least favorite thing to do, but what can you do when victory is on the line. The teams get to work using their acquired hints to their advantage. Taemin declares that he’s solved the puzzle, but his method produces only three triangles.

The Original Idols manage to figure out seven triangles, while the Running Idols figure out eight triangles before running into a dead-end. The New Idols wonder if they should sneak a peek at the other teams. Soyou peeks at the Running Idol’s puzzle and takes the intel back to her team.

Meanwhile, the Original Idols keep coming up short with eight triangles, and their semi-loud brainstorming voices can be overheard by the others. The Running Idols use that to their advantage, but sadly they come up with eight triangles instead. I can see how this is one of those puzzles where the more you stare at it, the more the shapes can deceive the eye.

At one point, VJ Kwon-ryul starts cracking up watching the Running Idols think of new ways and fail over and over again. Haha starts over by constructing a star (Byul) which his also his wife’s name. Aw.

All the teams start over by building three triangles with one cross-line, and when the Running Idols come up with eight triangles again, they readjust some lines. That successfully gives them nine triangles, and the Running Idols escape the gates first as today’s victors.

In an epilogue, we rewind back to the flying chairs to explain why nearly everyone was wet prior to the third game. The cast had played a round of Ideal Type World Cup with Soyou, whose eliminated suitors went flying into the water.

Between Jong-kook vs. Kwang-soo vs. Haha in the final three, Soyou had ultimately chosen Jong-kook. Now that’s one refreshing send-off.

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