Fated To Love You: Episode 12

by HeadsNo2

If you thought that yesterday’s episode was brutal, then gird your loins for what comes next, which can best be described as a lot. A lot of pain, a lot of blame, and a lot of noble idiocy—and if you’re thinking to yourself that maybe this specific brand of noble idiocy will be different, you’d be right: It’s so much worse. Noble idiocy has been responsible for some of dramaland’s lowest lows, but never has it wreaked quite so much havoc and tragedy. But hey, that’s what communal commiseration is for, right? *hands out tissue boxes*

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EPISODE 12 RECAP

Gun, having regained his memories, stops in front of Mom’s restaurant to see Mi-young with a young infant in her arms. Rest assured, we haven’t undergone amnesia and a time skip—it’s her unni’s newborn baby.

Instead of getting out, he drives straight to Doctor Moon to ask if his fainting and memory loss means he’s contracted his family’s long-running genetic disease. Doctor Moon sighs that it’s possible, since the symptoms Gun is experiencing now are similar to what his father suffered around his age.

With tears in his eyes, Gun realizes that he’ll be no different than his father, his grandfather, his great-grandfather, and so on in dying in his thirties. He rails on Doctor Moon when he urges him not to worry: “How can I not worry? My grandmother, our Mi-young and Keddongie… My family, the people I have to protect. How can I not be worried?!”

While meeting with Mi-young to finally give her the cup she made for Gun, Daniel asks what she’ll do if Gun’s memory doesn’t come back. Mi-young, optimistic as always, says she doesn’t want to think of the worst: “I’ll trust him and wait.”

But when realtors come knocking, Mi-young asks Daniel if he’s selling the cafe. He says he is, and that he’s leaving for France next month. Even Mi-young acknowledges how sudden it is, which I guess means that Daniel took that friend-zoning business pretty hard. (Still, you don’t make a declaration like that and not try. Come on, Daniel!)

Mi-young attends the next and final prenatal class alone, which entails writing a letter for the baby to read when he’s old enough. It’s both sad and cute how Mi-young spares one glance to the doorway, as if hoping that Gun would magically appear like he always used to do.

So Mi-young decides to write Keddongie a letter from Gun, and has a little bit of fun trying to mimic Gun’s low tone of voice…

…But then the sound of mad cackling comes from the doorway. It’s Gun!! I never thought I’d be so happy to hear that insane laugh, and neither does Mi-young. He laughs all the way to his spot next to his wife, where he says that—despite his brain issues—he wouldn’t start his letter the way she was writing it. Hah.

I’m not quite sure if he’s completely back, or if they’re both just glossing over the amnesia episode, but he tells her to write his letter to Keddongie while he dictates.

At first, he starts talking about how beautiful and wonderful life is, but then derails to a more realistic approach. What was supposed to be a light letter turns into a survival guide, which Gun defends as being necessary when Mi-young mentions that he might be taking this a little too seriously.

When they stop to eat Mi-young’s favorite pungent fish snack, it seems like Gun doesn’t remember everything(?), since Mi-young reminds him that he had to stuff his nose with tissues to avoid the smell the first time he came with her.

He doesn’t believe her, but Mi-young insists that he did all sorts of things he wouldn’t have imagined himself doing, whether it was running from a dog like a crazy man or rapping for her mother. “You were such a fun person… and a very good husband,” she adds. “You always made me laugh.”

“I never caused you any heartache or made you cry… not even once?” he asks disbelievingly. Mi-young: “No, you didn’t. Not even once.” Gun shakes his head when he says that she’s too nice sometimes, only for Mi-young to admit with a small smile that he wasn’t always a saint.

But thanks to him, she says, she went from being a post-it girl to superglue, like a princess in a fairytale. “But, Kim Mi-young-sshi, I can’t always be by your side. In the end, we’ll have to part ways,” he says.

He’s referencing his death, which I don’t think Mi-young catches on to, even as she says that she’s working hard to become a source of strength for him. “I want you to be able to rely on me the way I was able to rely on you in case you get your memory back, so that we can be together.”

She finally gets to hand him the birthday present he wanted: his Gunnie Cup. Gun has to fight the tears that immediately spring to his eyes, because he doesn’t want Mi-young to know why he’s struggling.

Manager Tak goes to Gun with a plan to help lift Mi-young’s spirits while Gun is still an amnesiac… only for him to realize that Gun’s memories are back, all of them.

But Gun stops him before he can call Mi-young with the good news, because he doesn’t want her to know. He’s trying to spare her from the pain she’ll suffer because of his genetic disease. Ugh. I get it, but still. Noble Idiocy is to Amnesia what Denny’s is to La Quinta.

Gun meets with Se-ra for one reason only: “Let’s break up.” She immediately pins the blame on Mi-young, only for Gun to say that he’ll end things with her, too. As he apologizes numbly to Se-ra for wasting the precious six years they had together, she breaks down into tears.

“It’ all because of Kim Mi-young. If it wasn’t for her, none of this would have happened. I hate it. I never thought… that I’d have to live without seeing you,” Se-ra cries. Gun’s face remains motionless.

While quitting his DJ job for his impending trip to France, Daniel recognizes Se-ra drinking at the bar. He advises her not to do things that’ll hurt other people just because she’s been hurt, and while she thanks him for the advice, she won’t take it: She’s lost everything, which means there’s only one thing left for her.

We finally find out what was in the second divorce agreement Gun made when he visits Lawyer Hong, which is actually more like a love pact: In it, Gun gave all the power to Mi-young to decide when and if they’d ever divorce, that he’d have to provide for her if they did, and that they’d raise the baby together.

Gun decides to void both the original divorce agreement and the newer one—now his conditions are that Mi-young will have parental rights when it comes to the baby, and that she’ll be compensated after the divorce.

But here’s the kicker, and the whole reason why Gun is doing all of this: In the event he were to die, everything he owns would go to Mi-young and the baby. Lawyer Hong notes that this sounds more like a last will and testament than a divorce agreement, and Gun doesn’t disagree.

Se-ra calls Mi-young for a meeting, which we know isn’t going to end well. Se-ra acts like she’s in the know when Mi-young isn’t, and asks whether she knew that Gun plans to end things with her. Mi-young says she didn’t, but can’t see how he’d say something like that…

“Why do you think he can’t remember his own marriage?” Se-ra fires back. “It’s because he wants to forget it. He wants to erase it from his memory.” She also claims he changed the divorce agreement, and slides the new document over to her. Se-ra, what dafaq is wrong with you?

Of course, the divorce agreement Se-ra hands to her is completely fabricated, and states that Mi-young will be given compensation after the divorce, say nothing to the media, and give the baby to Gun. “He wants you to hand over the baby and end it,” Se-ra adds coldly.

Mi-young leaves the cafe in utter disbelief, and only worries more when Gun calls her to meet with him because he has something to say. Ohhh no. This is bad. This is baaad.

Gun notes Mi-young’s troubled expression, but doesn’t pay it much attention as he hands over a box. She opens it to find Keddongie’s Cup inside, which, ouch. Gun says he’s giving it to her because it doesn’t suit the home’s decor. What is going on, seriously?

“Your role as the daughter-in-law of my household and my wife is over starting from today,” Gun says. “Leave. If you’re unsure because of the baby, I’ll give up my parental rights.” He finishes by placing his wedding band on the table.

Now, the words Se-ra said that Mi-young didn’t want to believe come back to haunt her. She tells him that she didn’t think it was possible when she heard that he lost his memory because he wanted to forget about their marriage.

Mi-young: “I must have made a grave misunderstanding. When I heard that the reason you lost your memory was because you wanted to erase me from your subconscious, I thought that would never be the case. Even if you forget your memories of me, I believed that you wouldn’t forget how precious a person you are to the baby. I thought that you would never do that. It’s always like this. Imagining things on my own like a fool, trusting people like a fool, depending on people… like a fool. It was going to be like this in the end.”

As she flashes back to the moments where Gun literally swept her off her feet, she says how foolish she was to ever have expected anything. But Gun interrupts her to coldly ask if she assumed she’d be understood just because she acts so innocent.

“Did I not say before that no matter who it is, there isn’t anyone who will stay with you forever?” he asks. “This is a world where you live and fight alone.” He then asks how she’ll manage to fight all on her own if she stays hung up on the three meager months they’ve been together—and with a child, no less.

At least Mi-young stands up for herself, however meekly, when she tells him that he doesn’t have to be so harsh. (For REAL. He is being the worst.) “I’ve already decided,” she says with unshed tears in her eyes, “Let’s break up.”

I can’t even be happy that Gun at least has the good grace to walk her out, because his words seem empty when he tells her that he hopes she’ll be happy wherever she goes. Though she smiles, her words are heartbreaking as she wonders whether there’s any happiness left for her when she’s already experienced all the happiness she could possibly have dreamt of.

“The things that I could never imagine in this world came true after I met you. Bad things became good things, and I became a family with someone I love.” Gun is still resolute and unmoved, as he tells her not to look back at what’s passed, only forward.

She puts on a smile as she says she’ll take his advice—it’s not like they’ll see each other again anyway, right? After she turns to leave, Gun calls after her with one last piece of advice—it’s the same advice he gave her in Macau when they parted, about not being too nice and to be more confident.

As Mi-young crosses the street, her steps slow as everything hits her all at once. But then she remembers Gun at the prenatal class, saying he wants to do his job as a father, as well as when he said those exact same words to her in Macau… and realizes that he has his memory back.

She turns back around and calls his name repeatedly, and while Gun hears her, he convinces himself not to look back. “Gun!” she cries behind him. “Gun!”

Then, behind him, a car slams on its brakes…

…Right before it collides into Mi-young. The Keddongie Cup shatters on the ground as she falls, and Gun turns around slowly, disbelievingly… Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. Oh god, no no no.

Gun is a mess as Mi-young is rushed to the hospital, as he begs the doctors to save her with tears in his eyes. “Is this your wife?” one of the doctors asks. “Yes, she’s my wife!” Gun cries. “She’s my wife!”

Mi-young comes to, but her first thought is for her baby as her hand clutches her stomach: “What about… what about my baby? My baby… is it okay? Our Keddongie,” she sobs. “Save my baby! Please save my baby… please… please…”

Gun tries to comfort her, but she’s gone into hysterics, and can barely murmur his name and Keddongie’s before she suddenly falls unconscious. The doctors swarm around her and pull a frantically crying Gun away. (I’ve had to take way too many tissue breaks already. No more, please.)

Doctor Moon tells Gun that Mi-young will need surgery in order to live—but the surgery will endanger the baby. In this case, he can only choose one or the other: Will it be Mi-young or Keddongie?

After Gun sinks down in despair, we find Mi-young in surgery, which means Gun has made his choice. He keeps vigil outside the operating room as he thinks back to her saying she was unsure if there was any happiness left for her. Because the biggest source of happiness in her life turned his back on her—that’s you, Gun. I hope you realize that.

Mi-young wakes in a hospital room with Gun sitting by her bedside. “What about our baby?” is the first question she whispers. Gun doesn’t answer as he helps her to sit up. “Our baby… is doing well, right?” Silence. “Why don’t you answer? Our baby is okay, right?”

Gun lets out a long sound, halfway between a sigh and a cry: “Keddongie… Keddongie isn’t here.”

Mi-young can’t believe it, won’t believe it. “Keddongie’s gone,” Gun reiterates, “I told him to go.” (Meaning that he chose Mi-young over him.) Mi-young grows more frantic as she asks him why, WHY when she told him to save Keddongie—why, when she told him she didn’t care what happened to her.

“How can I live now that Keddongie is dead?” she wails. “Please bring him back… Please bring Keddongie back! Bring him back!” She devolves into incoherent sobs as Gun tries to hold her and comfort her, but it’s no use.

Mom and Grandma Wang come in just then, only for Mi-young to eke between her sobs that Keddongie is gone. He’s gone. God, this scene is horrible to watch. It’s just horrible.

After admitting to Grandma Wang that it was all his fault outside, Gun returns to Mi-young’s room to find her asleep. He can only hold her hand as he apologizes with shaking shoulders, before he breaks down completely.

Gun pays a visit to the remains of his parents, addressing his mother first as he tells her about the strange woman he came to like—as strange as his mother was. “I don’t know how she can endure this with such a frail and petite body. I want to hold her tight, but I don’t think I should. You know, right, Mom?”

He’s much more formal when addressing his father, as he asks whether he also became afraid that he’d lose his memory. He tells his father that he found a girl he really likes and wants to be with, but he’s afraid he’ll lose her, and can’t bring himself to ask her to stay. Okay, but, why?

Daniel visits Mi-young at the hospital, even if he’s not sure how to console her. She ends up consoling him instead by saying there’s no need to comfort her—this was all her fault.

When he says it was just an accident, Mi-young explains why that’s just an excuse, and why she won’t use any now. “It’s my fault that I lost the baby.” At least Daniel lifts her spirits when he gives her a box full of art supplies, since he knows painting and drawing makes her happy.

While Mi-young sleeps inside next to a drawing of Keddongie with angel wings, Gun hangs her heart-shaped lollipop on the doorknob. “You said that people who like sweet things want to be happy. If there’s a little happiness left in my life, I’ll give all of that to you. You have to be happy, Mi-young.” And then he leaves.

After getting discharged and moving in with ex-roomie Ji-yeon, Mi-young pays a visit to Gun in his office. She cuts the small talk and gets right to the point: “Why did you lie? You could have told me you got your memories back. Was I too much of a burden for you to do even that?”

Even though Gun’s reaction is still cold and not really much of an explanation, Mi-young says this’ll be the last time she asks him a foolish question:“Is it possible to forget everything and start over? The time was short, but like before… can’t you stay by my side?”

Gun actually looks her in the eyes as he rejects her with an “I’m sorry.” Seriously, Gun? Seriously.

She passes over the divorce papers Se-ra gave her, along with her ring. He tries blaming himself, only for Mi-young to reply that it was no one’s fault—they were wrong from the beginning.

Mi-young packs her things from Lee Manor, but breaks down into pitiful sobs when she finds Keddongie’s diary. “I’m sorry,” she cries.

After a silent farewell hug with Grandma, Mi-young stops by Daniel’s cafe on her way out, looking especially glum when he says he’ll be leaving for France the day after tomorrow. He tries to lighten the mood by asking if she’s sad to break up with the best neighborhood oppa ever. (Kiind of feel like you haven’t been the best neighborhood oppa lately though.)

However, he hands her a brochure for an art school in Paris, and tells her to consider it seriously. He’ll do whatever he can to help, but urges her to take this chance to make a change in her life.

After taking a long look at his now-sparse bedroom, Gun unlocks the door to his man cave, where he’s kept Keddongie’s crib and toys, and sits beside them for a while.

Mom gives Gun the money he gave them for the restaurant now that she’s sold it, which effectively ends the ties between them. But Mom still comforts him when she calls him “Gun-ah” and says that he and Mi-young did all they could—it just wasn’t meant to be.

Even though Gun uses the more formal “Mother” instead of “Mom” when he asks if he can see Mi-young for the last time, his face falls when Mom tells him that Mi-young left overseas to start anew. She tells Gun to do the same.

As Mi-young walks through the airport with Daniel, she flashes back to all her fond memories with Gun as she thinks to herself, “There was a time I was greedy over something that could never happen: I wanted to be a kind wife who would take your jacket off and hang it, make you a delicious dinner while you rested, and talk about our days at the dinner table with you. I wanted to lay my head on your arm and wish you good night. It would have been nice if you and I were fated… but you said this once: That if we met in better circumstances, we would have been destined to be together.”

She’s unaware that Gun is running through the airport looking desperately for her and calling her name. Her inner monologue continues, “If it hurts this much, then it means we weren’t fated to be. If by chance we were to meet each other again, let’s pretend not to know each other.”

Gun is just a few steps too late, and misses Mi-young as she disappears through customs. Mi-young: “Gunnie-sshi, take care.” Gun just cries, “Dalpeng-ah!!”

Three years later.

A much different, fashionably-styled Mi-young walks through the Seoul airport. She passes Gun (also sporting a new ‘do) without recognizing him, but he turns around. Something about her struck him as familiar…

But he’s called away by Manager Tak just as Mi-young greets Daniel with a wide smile.

 
COMMENTS

I never thought I’d say this, but I liked it better when Gun had amnesia. Even if that didn’t really excuse his harshness to Mi-young, it at least lifted some of the burden of responsibility from him because he wasn’t fully himself. It was easier to forgive him and wait, just the way Mi-young did, for him to come back around—because she/we trusted him.

But when he did regain his memories, he so brutally betrayed Mi-young’s trust that I’m still left reeling, even with all the other events from this (admittedly very dense) episode. It all started from that betrayal, and while accidents are accidents and there’s nothing Gun could have physically done to prevent what happened to Mi-young, out of everyone playing the blame game, Gun actually won. Because I lost my ability to understand him this episode.

If I got the basic gist right, which is maybe the only thing I feel remotely confident about, Gun’s thought process went as such: 1) He knew there was a high chance he’d lose his memories again, 2) He knew that there was a high likelihood he’d die young like every son in his family, therefore 3) The only way to save Mi-young from the irrevocable pain of losing him later was to heap all that irrevocable pain on her now.

I don’t get it. I really, really don’t. I tried. Even if I vaguely understood the basic idea driving Gun’s noble idiocy (saving Mi-young), I don’t at all see how it worked in practice. More than that, I don’t see how Gun thought his tactic was working when he had an ample opportunities to see how much he was hurting Mi-young. Even when he was being his coldest toward her, did it not once cross his mind that inflicting pain upon her intentionally to spare her the pain he’d later inflict unintentionally was not only counterintuitive, but incredibly cruel?

But fine, let’s say he did enough mental gymnastics to convince himself that what he was doing was right, and that it’d take real emotional jolt to bring him back to his senses. Was losing Keddongie not enough? That didn’t earn Mi-young even an ounce of pity from him when it came to peeling her away from his life like a barnacle? Granted, we can argue how much we know Gun was hurting inside, and that he only became more determined to try to save her after losing Keddongie. But it’s not like Mi-young misunderstood him, or even blamed him for choosing her over the baby—she went to him, point-blank, and asked if they could start fresh. And he said no.

So when faced with his wife who’d just lost their baby, who clearly loved him and wanted to be with him, he still thought it’d be somehow better for her to live thinking that he never loved her? I just don’t understand. My heart broke for Mi-young a million times over, because she was surrounded by people yet alone in her suffering. But to be abandoned by Gun when she needed him most was just so beyond my level of comprehension that as of now, she’s achieved sainthood and deserves only the best in life. Gun, on the other hand, is going to need a miracle and a week in time out.

 
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