Benefit of living alone: you can have a 30-minute conversation? Debate? Argument? Fangirl-session over the relationship between Kotoko and Naoki, the cracks in the foundation of their relationship and whether or not Kotoki should be insecure. And whether or not Naoki is emotionally not demonstrative or if he’s cold. Or something else altogether.
I could write an essay. I won’t. I mean, probably not. Although I do have all this spare time on my hands…
Its so complicated! I think that they need to have a talk about their relationship. And read that book about different love languages because they aren’t on the same page of what being in love with each other actually looks like. I don’t think Naoki is cold, I think he’s non-demonstrative. He very clearly, passionately loves his wife. And most of the time she’s completely fine with how he does (or doesn’t demonstrate it). No one in their family was surprised when he announced that he wanted to marry her. They’ve been around the two of them. I think Naoki is the most demonstrative of all the versions I’ve seen (maybe. I’m going to rewatch ISWAK, TKA and KM:T). But, it honestly doesn’t seem to occur to him that Kotoko would need or want more than what he gives her. And for the most part–she doesn’t. I do think she gets insecure because so many people have a crush on him and they have no problem telling her that she’s not good enough and that they should be with Naoki instead. And then, when she becomes friends with them (like she did with Moto-chan and Mari) because they don’t see Naoki with her when their by themselves or when their with their family they mistake nondemonstration (esp. Keita) for not liking or loving her (especially when Naoki was jealous and had no idea what to do with the emotion because he didn’t even know how to identify it until Kin-Chan delightedly pointed it out) and since they are so blunt they have no problem telling her that he doesn’t love her, like her, want to be with her.
I think Kotoko needs to be more confident–and that when Naoki sees that shiz is getting under her skin (like the business with Rika) he needs to remind Kotoko (before a blow out or drunken tears) or at least tell her that he’s aware of the full court press and he’s already shut it down.
GAAAAAH
In his defense, though, I think Naoki thought when he told Kotoko that “she should have known better” he meant it in a whole lot of different ways. He meant it the way he said it–she’s a kid. You should know better. He meant that Rika was obviously out here telling all sorts of lies–Kotoko should have known better than to listen. And as an adult, compassionate person Kotoko should have known better than to push the bratty teen. But, no matter all of that—Naoki loves Kotoko and she should have known that–she should have known better than to doubt it.
BUT IN HER DEFENSE
Rika is CLEARLY bating Kotoko and coming on to Naoki. Right in front of her. Naoki doesn’t push her away when she does it. He doesn’t shut that shiz down. He ignores it. And by ignoring Kotoko thinks that there’s some part of him that agrees that Rika (or whoever) is better for him.
This is the unending 20-30 minute conversation that I had with myself. But–condensed. Can you imagine?! Not. Sane.
No. It’s great that you can concisely line up your thought processes ( yes Bless Kin-chan for being above and beyond awesome-always) I end up rambling to myself in a circular and crazy making fashion. Just a jumble of feeeeels. You haven’t said anything I don’t agree with. That is my main stumbling block with Naoki, he doesn’t offer her the reassurance she needs so badly. It wouldn’t take much. Even though he could care less what people thinks about him. If he knows her as well as this love story implies then he knows how insecure she sometimes is. So for him not to tell some stranger/stalker to back off when their behavior is so clearly upsetting her even if he doesnt regard it upsets me. It’s his biggest fault, well after his lack of communication skills. I mean it’s no wonder she needs Something. It was a long uphill battle for her to get him to acknowledge that he cared enough to be with her, hell he damn near married another woman … sorry but I still really like them and their couplehood. I guess you could say that their newlywed problems seems more realistic since a ring doesn’t mean automatically render perfect understanding. But I guess realistic is a bit of a stretch since hes a flippin genius, and Everybody wants him. Lol. Oops I’m basically saying what you did, just more generally. But it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one who works themselves up to fever pitch over the love lives of drama characters on the regular 😁
.
No, this is the point exaclty that I was trying to get to today and I couldn’t put my finger on it. He knows her enough by now (they’ve been together for about 3 years at this point in the story so yes, he knows her and pretty dang well. Its upsetting that he knows whats bothering her and he just doesn’t care enough to nip these things in the bud before they become an issue. Like, for him–he has told her that he loves her. He married her. Its like he thinks that he’s done…there’s nothing else that he needs to do to make sure that she knows and stays sure in the knowledge that he loves her. It drives me crazy. I’m on ep 11 now, I think–where he goes to Kobe–and he kind of makes me want to kick him in the shin. He knows that she more than likely is going to react badly to his news–but he doesn’t try to break it to her gently. He doesn’t discuss it with her–just the two of them–as a couple. He doesn’t tell her why he wants her to stay behind for a year–his thought process that made him think that was a good idea. It drives me crazy that he’s smart enough to KNOW what the issues are and he know HER well enough to know how she’s going to react–but instead of communicating with her, he pinches his nose and looks down or stares off into the middle distance like her being upset is so troublesome. Quite frankly, yo, it pisses me off that I’m this close to the end of the series and Kotoko is STILL screaming at Niaki that she doesn’t feel like he loves her. he doesn’t love her, she loves him so much more. It is terrible that they’ve been married for so long and he still makes her feel like that.
Or maybe I’m wrong. I’ve never been married. Maybe married people communicate like that on the reg and I’ve been ruined by cheesy romances.
No your not wrong any one bound together like that marriage or no needs a baseline of communication you just can’t make decisions that will effect of both of you all by your lonesome. It’s unreasonable to expect another human being to Just fall in line with your decision with no discussion or explanation. I don’t give a shit what your IQ is
Yes! And this is what he does all throughout their relationship from the time he finally decides he’s ready to be with her and announces to their family that he wants to marry her and proposes to her with an offhand…”Is that ok with you?” The conversation that he had with her dad—he should have respected her enough to have that conversation with her.
But I think that by the end she gains a little more self confidence in her skills and herself and realizes that Naoki is a rock she can lean on
Full disclosure. I watched every minute of the 1st season. But I skimmed through the second season after the first several episodes for the same reasons your getting irritated now, so I got alot of the sweet without all the sour. But the payoff is never as great if you don’t see the struggle to get there. I’ve already started rewatching the 1st season. I’ll have to try to get all the second this time around. But there are To Many Dramas. Heck after reading some of the posts you and other beanies put up the other night I almost whipped out my Pride and Prejudice then and there.
Yes. I was in my pajamas and watching LiT2 and I had to take a break to go in my bedroom (it has no furniture, its the best place for this sort of discussion) having a passionatediscussion with myself about this drama. After I got dressed I had another one about the use of Fire in Fight My Way. Yeah. These happen multiple times a day. Multiple. Times. A. Day.
Hahahahaha *applauds you*
For real though I do the same thing. Especially when I’m driving. I speak in essays when I’m driving by myself hehe. Or showers and bathrooms…
Oh, I do this frequently. When I lived at home I mostly kept the crazy in my head. But, since I live alone now–I was LOUDLY having this debate with myself. I talk to myself ALOT about all sorts of things. On more than one occassion I’ll start a conversation in my car–get to where I’m going–APOLOGIZE to myself for interrupting the conversation–continue the conversation in my head while I’m doing whatever–get back in the car–APOLOGIZE to myself AGAIN for continuing the conversation quietly in my head, recap the reason why the interruption (like I wasn’t there. The whole time)–and then CONTINUE the debate. Essay. Nonsense.
isa
September 14, 2017 at 1:14 PM
Benefit of living alone: you can have a 30-minute conversation? Debate? Argument? Fangirl-session over the relationship between Kotoko and Naoki, the cracks in the foundation of their relationship and whether or not Kotoki should be insecure. And whether or not Naoki is emotionally not demonstrative or if he’s cold. Or something else altogether.
Katrina
September 14, 2017 at 1:47 PM
So what did you come up with?
Right after I finished it I was still giddy over Naokis face when he 1st saw Kotoko in her wedding dress
isa
September 14, 2017 at 4:05 PM
I could write an essay. I won’t. I mean, probably not. Although I do have all this spare time on my hands…
Its so complicated! I think that they need to have a talk about their relationship. And read that book about different love languages because they aren’t on the same page of what being in love with each other actually looks like. I don’t think Naoki is cold, I think he’s non-demonstrative. He very clearly, passionately loves his wife. And most of the time she’s completely fine with how he does (or doesn’t demonstrate it). No one in their family was surprised when he announced that he wanted to marry her. They’ve been around the two of them. I think Naoki is the most demonstrative of all the versions I’ve seen (maybe. I’m going to rewatch ISWAK, TKA and KM:T). But, it honestly doesn’t seem to occur to him that Kotoko would need or want more than what he gives her. And for the most part–she doesn’t. I do think she gets insecure because so many people have a crush on him and they have no problem telling her that she’s not good enough and that they should be with Naoki instead. And then, when she becomes friends with them (like she did with Moto-chan and Mari) because they don’t see Naoki with her when their by themselves or when their with their family they mistake nondemonstration (esp. Keita) for not liking or loving her (especially when Naoki was jealous and had no idea what to do with the emotion because he didn’t even know how to identify it until Kin-Chan delightedly pointed it out) and since they are so blunt they have no problem telling her that he doesn’t love her, like her, want to be with her.
I think Kotoko needs to be more confident–and that when Naoki sees that shiz is getting under her skin (like the business with Rika) he needs to remind Kotoko (before a blow out or drunken tears) or at least tell her that he’s aware of the full court press and he’s already shut it down.
GAAAAAH
In his defense, though, I think Naoki thought when he told Kotoko that “she should have known better” he meant it in a whole lot of different ways. He meant it the way he said it–she’s a kid. You should know better. He meant that Rika was obviously out here telling all sorts of lies–Kotoko should have known better than to listen. And as an adult, compassionate person Kotoko should have known better than to push the bratty teen. But, no matter all of that—Naoki loves Kotoko and she should have known that–she should have known better than to doubt it.
BUT IN HER DEFENSE
Rika is CLEARLY bating Kotoko and coming on to Naoki. Right in front of her. Naoki doesn’t push her away when she does it. He doesn’t shut that shiz down. He ignores it. And by ignoring Kotoko thinks that there’s some part of him that agrees that Rika (or whoever) is better for him.
This is the unending 20-30 minute conversation that I had with myself. But–condensed. Can you imagine?! Not. Sane.
Katrina
September 14, 2017 at 6:23 PM
No. It’s great that you can concisely line up your thought processes ( yes Bless Kin-chan for being above and beyond awesome-always) I end up rambling to myself in a circular and crazy making fashion. Just a jumble of feeeeels. You haven’t said anything I don’t agree with. That is my main stumbling block with Naoki, he doesn’t offer her the reassurance she needs so badly. It wouldn’t take much. Even though he could care less what people thinks about him. If he knows her as well as this love story implies then he knows how insecure she sometimes is. So for him not to tell some stranger/stalker to back off when their behavior is so clearly upsetting her even if he doesnt regard it upsets me. It’s his biggest fault, well after his lack of communication skills. I mean it’s no wonder she needs Something. It was a long uphill battle for her to get him to acknowledge that he cared enough to be with her, hell he damn near married another woman … sorry but I still really like them and their couplehood. I guess you could say that their newlywed problems seems more realistic since a ring doesn’t mean automatically render perfect understanding. But I guess realistic is a bit of a stretch since hes a flippin genius, and Everybody wants him. Lol. Oops I’m basically saying what you did, just more generally. But it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one who works themselves up to fever pitch over the love lives of drama characters on the regular 😁
.
isa
September 14, 2017 at 6:36 PM
No, this is the point exaclty that I was trying to get to today and I couldn’t put my finger on it. He knows her enough by now (they’ve been together for about 3 years at this point in the story so yes, he knows her and pretty dang well. Its upsetting that he knows whats bothering her and he just doesn’t care enough to nip these things in the bud before they become an issue. Like, for him–he has told her that he loves her. He married her. Its like he thinks that he’s done…there’s nothing else that he needs to do to make sure that she knows and stays sure in the knowledge that he loves her. It drives me crazy. I’m on ep 11 now, I think–where he goes to Kobe–and he kind of makes me want to kick him in the shin. He knows that she more than likely is going to react badly to his news–but he doesn’t try to break it to her gently. He doesn’t discuss it with her–just the two of them–as a couple. He doesn’t tell her why he wants her to stay behind for a year–his thought process that made him think that was a good idea. It drives me crazy that he’s smart enough to KNOW what the issues are and he know HER well enough to know how she’s going to react–but instead of communicating with her, he pinches his nose and looks down or stares off into the middle distance like her being upset is so troublesome. Quite frankly, yo, it pisses me off that I’m this close to the end of the series and Kotoko is STILL screaming at Niaki that she doesn’t feel like he loves her. he doesn’t love her, she loves him so much more. It is terrible that they’ve been married for so long and he still makes her feel like that.
Or maybe I’m wrong. I’ve never been married. Maybe married people communicate like that on the reg and I’ve been ruined by cheesy romances.
Katrina
September 14, 2017 at 6:46 PM
No your not wrong any one bound together like that marriage or no needs a baseline of communication you just can’t make decisions that will effect of both of you all by your lonesome. It’s unreasonable to expect another human being to Just fall in line with your decision with no discussion or explanation. I don’t give a shit what your IQ is
isa
September 14, 2017 at 6:56 PM
Yes! And this is what he does all throughout their relationship from the time he finally decides he’s ready to be with her and announces to their family that he wants to marry her and proposes to her with an offhand…”Is that ok with you?” The conversation that he had with her dad—he should have respected her enough to have that conversation with her.
Katrina
September 14, 2017 at 6:58 PM
But I think that by the end she gains a little more self confidence in her skills and herself and realizes that Naoki is a rock she can lean on
Full disclosure. I watched every minute of the 1st season. But I skimmed through the second season after the first several episodes for the same reasons your getting irritated now, so I got alot of the sweet without all the sour. But the payoff is never as great if you don’t see the struggle to get there. I’ve already started rewatching the 1st season. I’ll have to try to get all the second this time around. But there are To Many Dramas. Heck after reading some of the posts you and other beanies put up the other night I almost whipped out my Pride and Prejudice then and there.
isa
September 14, 2017 at 7:14 PM
Its both the good and the bad of the Fan Wall. I’ve watched so many things because of the force of beanie love.
isa
September 14, 2017 at 8:06 PM
Oh, and I’m not annoyed at all. I’m still enjoying every bit of it. Its a good dorama (thats what they are called in Japan, right?)
sicarius
September 14, 2017 at 3:06 PM
Like, with yourself? I approve hahaha *also talks to herself*
isa
September 14, 2017 at 3:52 PM
Yes. I was in my pajamas and watching LiT2 and I had to take a break to go in my bedroom (it has no furniture, its the best place for this sort of discussion) having a passionatediscussion with myself about this drama. After I got dressed I had another one about the use of Fire in Fight My Way. Yeah. These happen multiple times a day. Multiple. Times. A. Day.
sicarius
September 14, 2017 at 3:57 PM
Hahahahaha *applauds you*
For real though I do the same thing. Especially when I’m driving. I speak in essays when I’m driving by myself hehe. Or showers and bathrooms…
isa
September 14, 2017 at 4:10 PM
Oh, I do this frequently. When I lived at home I mostly kept the crazy in my head. But, since I live alone now–I was LOUDLY having this debate with myself. I talk to myself ALOT about all sorts of things. On more than one occassion I’ll start a conversation in my car–get to where I’m going–APOLOGIZE to myself for interrupting the conversation–continue the conversation in my head while I’m doing whatever–get back in the car–APOLOGIZE to myself AGAIN for continuing the conversation quietly in my head, recap the reason why the interruption (like I wasn’t there. The whole time)–and then CONTINUE the debate. Essay. Nonsense.
sicarius
September 14, 2017 at 4:35 PM
Hahahaha oh yes, all of this.